歌友會
當清風送來一抹草籽的芬芳，我驀然忘了憂，歡天喜地起來。
正文
I totally agree that marriage IS all about compromise. Sometimes we may even wonder where the sweet love we used to have went. None of that seems to remain after years of marriage. All we are doing day after day is endless tolerance. But then, 20 or 30 or 40 years later, or even longer than that, we realize that the compromise itself was love we've been seeking for, deeper than the romance we had at the very begining, for without that no couple could walk through worst days hand in hand. I am not there yet.
As for my 2 cents on your case, it surely would help if you talk to the boyfriend ahead of time and come to a kind of agreement with him. But my experience said such agreement might not last once the couple become a family. A good example is how easily we forget about our wedding vows when we are in conflicts. I can die for my hubby, but I can not bear with his not taking a shower before going to bed! So yeh, just as C said, "love is not just a feeling, it is a decision. A decision to make it work no matter what." This man may remain unchanged, do you not love him because he has this problem? Or are you determined to love him no matter what? If you are determined, make sure you are aware what it takes - life-long compromise. We exercise love by that means. If love were an easy task, and anyone could do it easily, it wouldn't be as valuable and meaningful.
Yes, it's all about love. Believe it or not, I often think it's easier to love an enemy than a spouse, because we do not live with our enemies every day.
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歌兒按：歌友會的朋友們大部分跟我一樣是無名的忠實讀者。她這陣子閉關去了，一直沒更新博客，相信大家和我一樣都對她非常想念。
很難得我今天在網上抓住了她，借著追問阿小J的生日party的事情跟她聊了會兒。借著這個生日party又順便探討了一下前兩天PP在幸福花裏問過的那個問題，具體的內容我就不轉貼過來了。不過無名送了上麵那一段'two cents'給我，並且批準我張貼在我的博客，借此作為籌碼，讓我轉告一下三豐子，她最近看了本好書，叫做《佐賀的超級阿嬤》。她沒寫讀後感，所以我既然傳了這個話，就等著三豐子讀完了給咱上讀後感吧。:) 當然了，她之所以想到跟三豐子推薦這本書，是因為我把三豐子在阿小葛博客提到她最近看的那本書當傳話筒給傳過去了，無名這是投桃報李。至於那本書是什麽，不知道的可以等三豐子來解答。
無名的two cents來源於她給一個朋友博客的回複。我不太知道人家是否同意轉載，就不擅自提供鏈接了。大家別怪我。
另外給關心無名的朋友上一段她自己對最近生活的小結：看了一些好書，走了一些地方，識了一些朋友，想了一些事情，懂了一些道理。
聽起來還不錯，大家不要太惦記了。
As for my 2 cents on your case, it surely would help if you talk to the boyfriend ahead of time and come to a kind of agreement with him. But my experience said such agreement might not last once the couple become a family. A good example is how easily we forget about our wedding vows when we are in conflicts. I can die for my hubby, but I can not bear with his not taking a shower before going to bed! So yeh, just as C said, "love is not just a feeling, it is a decision. A decision to make it work no matter what." This man may remain unchanged, do you not love him because he has this problem? Or are you determined to love him no matter what? If you are determined, make sure you are aware what it takes - life-long compromise. We exercise love by that means. If love were an easy task, and anyone could do it easily, it wouldn't be as valuable and meaningful.
Yes, it's all about love. Believe it or not, I often think it's easier to love an enemy than a spouse, because we do not live with our enemies every day.
***************
歌兒按：歌友會的朋友們大部分跟我一樣是無名的忠實讀者。她這陣子閉關去了，一直沒更新博客，相信大家和我一樣都對她非常想念。
很難得我今天在網上抓住了她，借著追問阿小J的生日party的事情跟她聊了會兒。借著這個生日party又順便探討了一下前兩天PP在幸福花裏問過的那個問題，具體的內容我就不轉貼過來了。不過無名送了上麵那一段'two cents'給我，並且批準我張貼在我的博客，借此作為籌碼，讓我轉告一下三豐子，她最近看了本好書，叫做《佐賀的超級阿嬤》。她沒寫讀後感，所以我既然傳了這個話，就等著三豐子讀完了給咱上讀後感吧。:) 當然了，她之所以想到跟三豐子推薦這本書，是因為我把三豐子在阿小葛博客提到她最近看的那本書當傳話筒給傳過去了，無名這是投桃報李。至於那本書是什麽，不知道的可以等三豐子來解答。
無名的two cents來源於她給一個朋友博客的回複。我不太知道人家是否同意轉載，就不擅自提供鏈接了。大家別怪我。
另外給關心無名的朋友上一段她自己對最近生活的小結：看了一些好書，走了一些地方，識了一些朋友，想了一些事情，懂了一些道理。
聽起來還不錯，大家不要太惦記了。
不過好象"惦記"這事控製不住呢,跟草似的,得不停地割一下才行...
--- 100% ZT
愛能不能持續下去,取決於我們自己.
給你個任務，寫篇讀後感吧。:)
讀什麽的後感都行。:)
看看一句話就傾倒一大片。。。。。哈哈哈
我也覺得這能力很重要，愛與不愛都需要能力。。。
“而且，我認為不單單是個決定，更重要的是個“能力”問題，有能力保持自己原有的決定，或者有能力改變自己的原有的決定。”——頂！
還有，她說的愛情是個DECISION，很認同。而且，我認為不單單是個決定，更重要的是個“能力”問題，有能力保持自己原有的決定，或者有能力改變自己的原有的決定。這就比如，做一個“好”人，一個快樂的人，根本上不是選擇和教育，而是一個能力。
看得我暈暈地，不知道是 I am not there yet，還是 I am taking a different route :-)
"love is not just a feeling, it is a decision."
Fake it till you feel it? hehe :))
then what's next? the right answer is: take a damn shower, how hard is it? the wrong answer is: tolerate once, how hard is it? :)
不過好象"惦記"這事控製不住呢,跟草似的,得不停地割一下才行...
Sometimes I think one's worst enemy is one self though---哈哈，同意，人最大的敵人是人自己：）
Convincing yourself to give up on something you can’t get is a life long lesson to learn.－－Agree, again:) that's the time when compromise is needed:)
Greetings to all the friends downstairs!---抄襲^_^
-- I totally agree! But I know a close friend of mine wouldn't agree with this, and we always tease each other :))
"It's easier to love an enemy than a spouse"
-- haha, I can understand that feeling. Sometimes I think one's worst enemy is one self though. Convincing yourself to give up on something you can’t get is a life long lesson to learn.
Greetings to all the friends downstairs!
歌兒你真好，我很想和無名探討關於孩子的話題呢。。。謝謝你幫我問，雖然你沒有公布答案。：）
pp又出來活動了，看來最近閑了一些。。。:))--hehee...你也是好幾天蹤影全無了呢。：）
同樣喜歡那句。。。。"love is not just a feeling, it is a decision. A decision to make it work no matter what." 麥片說得好， compromise是兩個人的事。
問候蟲蟲，你個子小，坐我腿上吧。：）
俺也挺想無名的。"love is not just a feeling, it is a decision. A decision to make it work no matter what." ----很喜歡這句。同意麥片，愛是兩個人的事，妥協努力都是兩個人的事。如果指望一個來負重完成，另一方做為個體就太失敗了。
稀客稀客，挺想無名的，看了這個就放心了，嗬嗬。妥協，經典經典啊。但是妥協是兩方麵的吧，所以就更不容易了，嗬嗬。
看起來這兩天你身體好起來了。:)
一個小PP你要占多大地方啊你？:)
你不會還在國內吧？還是已經回來了？
怎麽會這個時間能上網呢？希望不是失眠。。。
你在哪呀? 可以坐歌的沙發,不會離我不遠吧...
順便把屋頂也占嘍.
最近常有歌兒的沙發坐。