我曾經愛過你
我曾經愛過你
我曾經愛過你:愛情,也許
在我的心靈裏還沒有完全消亡,
但願它不會再打擾你,
我也不想再使你難過悲傷。
我曾經默默無語、毫無指望地愛過你,
我既忍受著羞怯,又忍受著嫉妒的折磨,
我曾經那樣真誠、那樣溫柔地愛過你,
但願上帝保佑你, 另一個人也會象我愛你一樣。
1829
戈寶權 譯
這首詩是獻給安娜 · 阿列克謝耶夫娜 · 奧列尼娜( 1808-1888 )的。奧列尼娜(奶名安涅塔)是美術學院院長、彼得堡公共圖書館館長、考古學家奧列寧的千金小姐。
奧列尼娜生活在著名學者家中,受到文學藝術的熏陶,文化素質較高,同時又頗多魅力,相當活潑,惹人喜愛。奧列尼娜和普希金接觸之後,她曾表白說:普希金是 “ 當時她所見到的最有趣的人 ” ,普希金對她也充滿了情意。他們一起在沙龍見麵,在郊外同遊,在彼得堡夏園幽會。
1828 年夏天,普希金很想和奧列尼娜結為夫妻,但卻遭到了她的父親的拒絕。普希金遭到拒絕後,很快就離開了彼得堡。後來,普希金與奧列尼娜一家關係大大疏遠了,其中很重要的原因是她的父親越來越靠近沙皇,而且這位要人對社會上流傳的普希金的諷刺短詩極為不滿。
普希金 1828 年的愛情詩,《她的眼睛》、《你和您》、《美人兒啊,不要在我麵前唱起》、《豪華的京城,可憐的京城》、《唉,愛情的絮絮談心》、《我曾愛過你》 …… 都是由奧列尼娜引發出來的。
據奧列尼娜的孫女說, 1833 年普希金在《我曾愛過你》這首原來寫在她的祖母紀念冊上的詩的下邊,用法文加了一句話: “ 這是很久以前的事情了 ” 。
Three English Translations
I loved you once: perhaps that love has yet
To die down thoroughly within my soul;
But let it not dismay you any longer;
I have no wish to cause you any sorrow.
I loved you wordlessly, without a hope,
By shyness tortured, or by jealousy.
I loved you with such tenderness and candor
And pray God grants you to be loved that way again.
I loved you: and, it may be, from my soul
The former love has never gone away,
But let it not recall to you my dole;
I wish not sadden you in any way.
I loved you silently, without hope, fully,
In diffidence, in jealousy, in pain;
I loved you so tenderly and truly,
As let you else be loved by any man.
http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/pushkin/pushkin_ind.html
I loved you and my love may still be there,
Deep in my soul remains to stay aglow.
That should not be an object of your care –
I do not want disturb you any more.
I loved you unrequited in still wonder
Through bouts of jealousy and diffidence.
I loved you so sincerely and tender –
God bless you with such love of someone else.
English translation by Dina Belyayeva: