一日三笑

一日三笑

                                                     一

幾個roommates裏有兩兄弟，是房東的兒子。老大憨厚，老二樸實。我很喜歡他們。

            走進客廳時他們正在討論去哪裏買禮物。今天是老二與女友認識兩年的日子，他想給她買個禮物，晚上再帶她去好好吃一餐。見我一副醉生夢死的樣子，就拿我開涮。

            “My friend, you are crazy. Everyone knows you are crazy.”

            我說：“You want to know what’s crazy? Let me tell you-----One day I am gonna write ‘Made in China’ on my forehead to show you how crazy this whole world is.”

                                                   二

            正巧想去Bose買耳機，我們三人就一起到Mall。

            聖誕前夕，商家促銷。一個美如天仙的甜妞把我們攔下。

            “Hey, you.” 美女把我挑出。

            一驚，故作懼怕狀，我發楞，說：“Normally I am the one picking girls up……”兩兄弟曬笑。

            美女偷笑，雙手輕輕握住我的右手（好暖和！），用美麗的藍眼睛平視我的色眼，按預謀無畏發問：“It is Christmas. Do you have a sister?”

            “I, I have an old sis--”

            “Do you have a Mom?”

            “Who doesn’t?”

            “Then they will---hahaha…….”她自知好笑。

            “Hey, sweetheart. I need to pick up a gift with my friend ASAP. We will be back.”我乘機脫身。

            “You are lying. You are not coming back.”美女翹起小嘴。

            “I promise. I would like to spend the rest of my life listening to you, sweety.” 她沒料到我有這招。一愣，我拔腿就溜。途中不忘回頭，指了指她，拍拍我的心，豎起雙手大拇指。留下美女燦爛地對我會心一笑。

                                                   三

            老二想買根項鏈給女友。我戲說應讓老大的女友幫老二參考買禮物，and vise versa. 又講自己平時逛街就零零散散收集good deals，才不至於事到臨頭手忙腳亂，再細述自己有個禮物箱，裏麵禮物三六九等，按需要手到擒來之種種好處。老大聽癡了，說：        

            “Ok, we will go home check your pimp box up.”

            我和老二笑翻。