你不可以說“你不可以和我們玩”

紀錄片“被拒絕被排斥（Reject）“值得關注。rejectfilm.com


You can't say "you can't play with us" (Don't be a bully)

 

rejectfilm.com

shameresponsetorejection

專家談“社會排斥”：

 

阿蔓達. 哈裏斯特 (俄克拉何馬大學兒童發展教授）：

如果你在學校裏不快樂，如果你沒有朋友，如果人們對你不善（虐待你），研究表明，你會逐漸不喜歡上學。學校不是你想待的地方，所以學習就受到影響。

 

（Amanda Harrist, Child Development, Oklahoma State University

"If you’re not happy at school, if you don’t have friends, if people mistreat you, research shows that you come to not like school. It’s not a place you want to be and so, learning is impacted."）

 

基普林.威廉斯 (普渡大學, 社會心理學家)： 有些人談論起社會排斥和社會孤立時就象在肚腸的部位遭到重拳一擊，或者他們感到頭痛欲裂，透不過氣，身體切實感受到一種割裂之痛，之失落。

（Kipling Williams, Social Psychologist, Purdue University

“Some people talk about rejection and social exclusion as like a punch in the gut or they get a headache or they’re short of breath and they actually feel, physically feel, the loss of a connection."）

娜奧米.愛森伯格（加州大學洛杉磯分校, 社會神經學家）：我認為，即使我們知道遭遇社會排斥的經曆非常痛苦，但那種體驗多半是難以言說的，是隱蔽的。我真的不認為，當人們遭受排斥時感受的痛苦在大腦上能看得出來。

(Naomi Eisenberger, Social Neuroscientist, UCLA

“I think even though we know that experiences like social rejection can be painful, I kind of thought that the experiential state was more metaphorical. I didn’t really think that the brain would look like it’s in physical pain when people are being left out.”)

 
杭特. 何斯特 (國家少年刑法中心 發起人)： 今天如果你同許多民眾談到校園欺淩事件，他們會說，哦，那不過是人生成長的一部分，那不過是在人性的海洋裏學習遊泳罷了。那就是生活。你得學會應付。確實如此。但是如果看到的是極端的排斥形式，並且遇到的是非常弱勢的人的時候，結果就很可能是災難。

（Hunter Hurst, Founder, National Center for Juvenile Justice

“If you talk to a lot of the public today about bullying, they will say well, that’s part of growing up. That is learning to swim in the sea of humanity. That’s real. That’s life. You must be able to cope with that. And that too is true but you get extreme forms of rejection and when they meet vulnerable people you have disastrous results. “）

 

微微. 安佩利（教育者，“你不可以說你不可以和我們玩”一書的作者）：

社會排斥的本質是在一個教室裏由一個或幾個孩子，或者由老師和其他家長，製造出一個棄兒，一個社會組合的局外人。

(Vivian Paley, Educator and Author of You Can’t Say You Can’t Play

"Rejection is being made into an outcast in the classroom—by one child or many children, by a teacher, by other parents. It's being made into an outsider.")
 

馬修.利伯門(社會神經學家，加州大學洛杉磯分校):

我認為我們在談論的是與一個尋找食物，水，和住所的那個生物有著深刻差異的。人， 這個生物，主要搜尋的是社會聯係（割斷這種聯係是一個極大的打擊）。

(Matthew Lieberman, Social Neuroscientist, UCLA

“I think that it’s a profoundly different creature we’re talking about when we think of a creature that primarily is searching for food, water and shelter compared to a creature that’s primarily searching for social connection.”)
 

赫伯特. E. 托馬斯博士(退休駐獄心理醫生，西看守所監獄)：

當一個人由於遭遇排斥而感受痛苦，他會得到極大的聚力，這種力量可以被釋放，但痛苦卻得不到釋放。這種與痛苦相聯係的聚力往往釋放暴力。

(Dr. Herbert E. Thomas, former resident Psychiatrist, Western Penitentiary Prison

 

“When a person has pain from experiencing rejection, they get a great deal of tension and that can be released, but the pain is not released. The tension related to the pain is often released in violence.”)

詹姆斯. 嘎巴林諾 (作者，洛約拉大學資深教職研究員 ):

在我看來，所有這些孩子（之所以遭受排斥）明顯的原因就是因為他們的出身種族背景，社會階層，以及地理背景（來自哪個地方）。

(James Garbarino, Author and Senior Faculty Fellow, Loyola University

“All of these kids, particularly evident to me looking back on them are these social forms of rejection—exclusion because of ethnicity, and social class, and geographic group that you come from." ) 

比爾和簡. 莫哈特（因遭受欺淩而自殺的受害者埃裏克莫哈特的父母）：

欺淩有多種形式，從逗弄嘲笑到動武襲擊以及這兩種之間的一切。但欺淩的目的是隔離某個人，將其推出群組，讓另外的人在群組的社會地位上推進。但這就是排斥和孤立，這就是其基礎，無論用的何種形式。

 (Bill and Jan Mohat, Parents of Eric Mohat, Victim of Bullycide

“Bullying takes many forms, from teasing to assult and everything in between. But the purpose of it is to isolate somebody and push them out of the group so that somebody else can be advanced in social status. But it is rejection and isolation. That is the foundation of it, no matter how it takes shape. “)