長期潛水樂悠悠的博客
一個懶人，喜歡胡思亂想，擅長胡言亂語，生平最怕嚴謹,得過且過就好。
I watched this movie long time ago. I forgot if I watched on TV or rent a tape with my husband. The movie touched me deeply, of course I shed many tears and finished it with a long conversation (or better yet, long complains) with him. I don't remember exactly what I said, but remember it was focused on how he cannot fill my heart or dreams. I like the movie more because Francesca didn't leave her husband.
Particularly, I remember couple details of the movie very well: Everyone let the screen door slam, but Robert closed it gently; After a wonderful day together, the reality sank in and she began to question his motive and all the girly feelings surfaced but Robert said “This kind of certainty happens but once in a life time”; in the rain, Robert's truck stopped in front of the traffic waiting for Francesca, her hand clutched on the door knob, turned but didn't push it open while Richard asked her if anything was wrong; and her husband's last moment with her, telling her that he knew he didn’t fulfill her dreams while she lied on bed next to him, kissing his hand and comforting him.
I was afraid to watch the movie again. I felt I was Francesca, just no Robert there to temp me. I ached to have a passionate moment or have someone who truly understands me, but I also fear the pain of choosing the responsibility over unjustified passion. Until recently, I was tempted, even though it was not to the same degree. Through shocking, control, struggle and re-evaluation, I maintained my stable regular routine but I was forced to look at the foundational breeding ground of such incident: my empty, hopeless marriage. More importantly, I need to evaluate myself: What do I want from my partner. So I ordered the DVD from Netflix, along with another Meryle Streep's movie: Out of Africa. I will visit/revisit some of the romantic drama movies that I have been avoiding for a long, long time.
I watched the movie alone this time, on my laptop. I know what to expect. I purposely let go of my feeling, free with all Francesca’s feel, thinking and mind process. But yet, mentally I was still partially detached and could analyzing the situation then compare to reality. I was touched, but not disturbed. 10 years made a big difference in me on maturity and my English. I noticed the Italian accent of Francesca’s talking and hand/body movement. I was moved as story developed, but not messed up. I began see the logic behind Francesca’s decision.
A few new points emerged that I didn’t quiet understand before: When they made love the first day, she felt that she was making up stories in her head but Robert felt her thoughts and responded to every one of them; A woman’s life is a life of details. When a woman decides to marry, she sort of willingly starts her new life of details and stops her own.
The first is almost what every female dreams of: A man who understands me in whole. Two are combined tightly as two can be. That is the beauty of such affair in the beginning moments. It always gives the illusion of what the reality of life won’t be able to carry over extended time. The later, life of details represents the reality: responsibilities as a wife, a mother. It is the life of details that sets the tone of a woman’s dream. Without life experience of going through the details, a female will always remain as girl, whose dreams are pink bubbles which will burst with any obstacles. Life of details made a girl into a woman. Francesca put her dreams away for years and when she was awaken by the outside stimulation, she realized more than ever what she wants, desires and her passion has a power and depth that a girl would never have, and that strength effected Robert. It is the years of absence of materializing her dreams made her highly sensitive so she could feel the responsiveness of Robert. Maybe the men’s reality is not same as women’s lives of details, but whatever it is, it transformed Robert from a guy into a man as well. Imagine them met in their youth, they probably wouldn't even have caught each other’s eyes. Their paths just crossed at the right moment, where they are mature at the same level and attractive at the same frequency, that would sparkle such affair, so beautiful, heart-throbbing and yet, so impossible to be transformed to daily life. Regardless, Francesca got her dream came true, even for just 4 days. Her spirit was recharged and she added to her life with new aspects. She gained new empathy for others, in which she somehow felt the spirit of the affair got carried on.
Life plays jokes on everyone. We don’t know who we are and what we need when we are young, but we have enough passion to start a new life with another bravely. When we become wise and know ourselves well, we already have too many attachments, among which we cannot shake off or want to protect with all we can. So no courage or resource is left for us to make a new choice.
Their affair maintained to be beautiful because Francesca didn’t betray her life of detailed; also because the affair didn’t damage on others: husband and kids ,;and more importantly, it was short and distant enough to escape the small town social life. It had been hidden away from reality and discovered only after all parties have gone from this world. And that reminds me, it is only a story and fantasy, don’t imitate at home.
I watched this movie a long time ago, and I felt strongly that the movie was challenging people in marriage with this practical question: if your marriage cannot satisfy you, how would you respond to a fantasy, even a life-changing opportunity?
I really don't know where I should draw the line betweeen loyalty and the right of pursing dreams.
You are very observant.