山水安妮
隨意的夢幻/學著活人
正文
Ponderings for 2007
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
(this is playing on words-pun)
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Consider what Willie Nelson said regarding being caught recently with a bag of Marijuana: "It's a good thing I had a bag of Marijuana instead of a bag of spinach.
I'd be dead by now."
(This refers to the time that spinich made people sick several month ago, and Willie Nelson, a famous singer and very old, was caught possessing weeds at an airpot, I think.)
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
(Acid is type a drug in 60's, it causes hullucination)
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT TO PONDER IN 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
(this is playing on words-pun)
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Consider what Willie Nelson said regarding being caught recently with a bag of Marijuana: "It's a good thing I had a bag of Marijuana instead of a bag of spinach.
I'd be dead by now."
(This refers to the time that spinich made people sick several month ago, and Willie Nelson, a famous singer and very old, was caught possessing weeds at an airpot, I think.)
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
(Acid is type a drug in 60's, it causes hullucination)
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT TO PONDER IN 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
You are really funny. Don't you think though the raason why that one cow got sick with the mad cow disease is because she ate spinach? :-P