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RETURN I’m grateful for the exhaustive journey Where the sea is abundant though I only need A few drops to quench my thirst I’m grateful for all the songs I’ve heard And all the beings I’ve met, dead and alive Who speak the same l-a-n-g-u-a-g-e The great distance only brings you closer To my daily laboring in the loud silence Where I learn how to undo the night by gathering stars Each room is a poem Each poem a flower that grows deeper Into the soil at my finger tips I’m grateful for your open arms Making me realize that I have never left you (Coming back as naked as ever been) I’m also grateful for the confusion and the bitter wine I had to drink before something so small Like a poem could free me But what trickery the word “freedom” can be! Now the “slaves” are given the free reign To run as fast as the cogs in machines “I am back!” I say to a black wall Grateful for not knowing who I am today (What a wonder it is to forget "who I am" even for a day!) You remain silent, waiting & loving all the same ::june 2005 art: Allison Keating
In using proper words, LTG is the master of it. Waiting for his import in this aspect.:))
水滴，我說了這麽多，你一句就總結了，你的悟性，“蘭心慧質”“不打自招”:)
但除了Knowing, understanding and accepting ，最重要的是創造。Knowing, understanding and accepting 可以 overcome fear，但earn是創造，占有得不到freedom.....
Knowing, understanding and accepting are ways to overcome fear and to earn freedom.
後的無畏。介於之間的人，或多或少是有“畏懼”- - - “畏”於不同的人是不同的含義。"
YY說的這幾句我很讚同。
水滴，謝謝你。“蘭心慧質”我是不敢當的，一說到“蘭心慧質”聽起來好像會比他人高多少，好多少，其實非也。我越來越覺得每個人都是差不多的。
講到悟性，我也絕不會比你或影雲高多少，我隻是覺得我非常向往“自由”。我這裏說的自由不是去“環遊世界”的自由，是指身心的自由。因為靈魂是有翅膀的，容易得自由。我對心的自由有些體會，或者說mind的自由。和你們分享.....
說到fear，我是體會很深的。我有很多各種各樣的fear，我也不覺得我是因為患得患失而有畏懼，暫時我還沒有畏懼死後的事情，將來會不會我不知道。對我來說是少一個害怕，就得一個“自由”。
比如說我的英文不好，起初我有些自卑，怕被人瞧不起，但我戰勝了自己的這個害怕，得了一個“自由”，所以我現在厚著臉皮寫中文，順便偷偷學習英文……
小時候我在電影裏看到劉胡蘭等烈士的英勇無畏，回到家我感到很害怕。為什麽呢，因為我發現我不行，在敵人的嚴刑拷打下我肯定會受不了，所以我一直害怕著在那樣的情況下，我肯定會做叛徒，會做漢奸而被人批鬥，這種恐懼讓我很難受，常做惡夢被嚴刑拷打，我有可能會“招了”的情景。但後來當我理解了我這的畏懼是人性的，很正常的時候，我就釋然了，也不怕說出來怕人笑話了，於是我得了“自由”。
還比如，我小時候很驕傲自滿，有時候瞧不起人是常有的事情，我的感受是我越看不起人越挑剔的時候，我是很難受的，我是個享樂派，不喜歡難受的感覺，於是就慢慢學會看別人的優點，看別人好的一麵，而如此一來，我從別人身上學到不少東西，我很開心，我就又得了一個“自由”，這份“自由”我還沒有徹底得到，仍在努力中…….
再比如，YY講到的禪境，起初我不是很理解，有些排斥，我之所以排斥是因為我有偏見，以為通禪就是做“仙”，而我呢，隻想做“人”，但是非也，後來我接受了通禪對“自由”的幫助，我又得了一個“自由”。
而我所有對禪的知識目前就是神秀和慧能的那個小故事，並且我隻記住了慧能說的：“菩提本無樹，明鏡亦非台，本來無一物，何處惹塵埃”，我覺得很管用。前麵兩句我理解要辨正辯證，即辨明是非，或辯證看問題看世界，也就是辨析......但這不是慧能的境界，但我是人，我先這樣用，以後成熟了再悟不遲。而很多心的枷鎖不自由都是自己給自己的心套上的，隻把“本來無一物，何處惹塵埃”這一句拿來用一用，覺得很管用，一次次地獲得小小的“自由”…… 但是我相信禪裏有很多更多精彩處是我未知的，所以喜歡聽YY說禪，而我隻吸收我暫時能接受的，不能理解的留著慢慢悟....
“知者不言，言者不知”，看到這句話，我們是不是就不言了，來讓人覺得我們有知呢？非也，想讓他人認為自己有知又是自己給自己套上的不自由的枷鎖，明明理解這句話，仍然暢所欲言，又是一個“自由”。
YY說“I still love what Henry Miller says that there is no short cut in our journey of life, the seemingly most difficult one turns out to be the easiest.”我百分百同意…..
有價值的交流，不是要說完全相同的觀點，我發現越不相同的觀點，越容易讓人領悟後得“自由”……
如果向往“自由”，就會悟，就會有悟性，而那些看似沒有悟性的，我認為是人家對“自由”的要求還不夠強烈，等到他們都想要“自由”的時候，想要的自由越多，就會發現，一個會比一個聰明，一個會比一個有悟性，一個會比一個“蘭心慧質”，真的不騙你們…… 那些頂級的藝術家、文學家、詩人、科學家都是最最向往“自由”的人……
其實我看的書很少，我很多的知識是從認識自己獲得的，我發現認識自己越多，越有助於去認識別人，越有助於去理解別人，越有助於認識這個莫名其妙的世界…… 有的人通過認識自己來認識書本，有的人通過書本來認識自己…… 有人自戀，有人顧影自憐，有人自我陶醉，有人自卑，有人自負，有人無畏……都差不了多少，殊途同歸……
However not everyone has chance to taste pears. Even when the one has cahnce to taste, it is very possible that someone taste something very bad and there is no way the person enjoys the taste. Tasting itself doesn't help one get rid of the fear. To the opposite, some new fears are generated due to the taste...
Let keeping 好玩一把, I don't mind at all.
相對而言，有兩種無畏的人，嬰兒與老人。一個是來自無知的無畏，一個是經曆過
後的無畏。介於之間的人，或多或少是有“畏懼”- - - 畏懼來自患得患失。畫餅
充饑裏，有層意思是不是真的餅，也解不了真的餓 - - - 所以我想，人生經曆本身
其實就在吃餅，品嚐過“畏”的滋味，才可以找出“畏”的根源 - - - 而沒有一中
公式。“畏”於不同的人是不同的含義。
好玩一把，別介意！：)
畫餅充饑 is one way of self-soothing. It can only tempary resolve the problem.
給你個禪語；畫餅充饑
看你能悟出多少 ？
：)
It is only a theoritical or philosophical discussion. Climbing the mountain is a good anology, but one need to choose a highest mountain to climb. SOmetimes, climb is not enough. We need to fly to obtain a bird view. Sometimes, flying is not enough, we need to use the imagination to reach a height that no physical being can reach...
Sometimes, the farther sight does not make a person fear less. How much one can "Enjoy your life" is not necessary proportional to the degree of freedom one has. Different kind of people enjoys different kinds of life, so to speak.
//
Ultimate freedom is a goal that perhaps no human being can reach. So I don't need to worry about what I want ot be after I reach it. What I wondering about is what is the best way to overcome our fear along the way of climbing. I haven't learned a good solution yet. If I have a better answer, I expect that I can climb a moutain under a brighter moonlight instead of under the total darkness..
My question for you is what you want to be after you reach the ultimate freedom if you can? To me, life is like climbing a mountain, the one you conquer is not the last one. But the process of climbing makes life an enjoyment. You climb higher and higher (not along your career ladder) to see farther and farther.
The Buddhism you mentioned is kind of prejudiced. You can selectively pick something you need from it. Or should I say, there is no absolute solution for this kind of problem - - - but you need to live through it, taste it, and find it out bit by bit - - - that’s life!!!
Enjoy your life, don’t get into Dead End.
And I don't know what is an ultimate solution to overcome our defferent level of fear and to finally free us. I don't think poetry is an ultimate solution either, but it is a good way to cope and process our fear. Is my assumption make sense to our dear poets??
Agree with LTG, seems to me that one has to pass the lower level of freedom first. Seems there is no short cut. If short cut, it seems to me that one will not feel fulfilled...
Thanks for YY's reminding. The thoughts lingering in my mind and I couldn't clarify them. Now they are more clear.
//
SO called "freedom" used by politician is a "lable" that they use to exploit and to deceive their blinded followers. Instead of slaving the others by visible hands, now the politicians slave the others by the invisible hands,such as moral, value, duty, etc, and make the followers believe that they can freely make their choices. Is that really so?? Aren't they more feared by whatever the politicians told them, terrorists, cheaper labors from the other country, God's rage, etc, etc..
Freedom out of materialism, privilege, and the like, is momentary since it always drives people with desire and greed and can never be fulfilled, indeed it’s a trap.
Another example of freedom is Buddhism, which says a person without desire is free out of anything. You have no fear and then you will be free.
Just a thought
慧質”。 你的悟性很高。。
LTG and YY: Thanks for paying attention to my question!
LTG: sometimes you can be quite "slippery".:))
i will write more later.... lemme think about it....tough questions!!!
anybody want to help me?
:)
Well, if you feel that I am too annoy tonight, just ignor me.:))
isn't there a freedom in poetry?
i am not talking about traveling around the world with $$$$$$$ in one's bank account....:)
freedom has many "degrees"....we have to experience "simpler" freedom before we experience "higher degree" of freedom....
it is not the kind of "freedom" politicans talk about either :)
that is how i feel, by the way.....
Some piece, such as "wakefulness" that LTG just wrote is meditative. Meditative while stay wakeful. I also like that piece very much..
LTG: When you writing, do you changing the meaning of different "you" in the same piece? Does "you" in the last sentence also means "higher being"?
Also "freedom" is a interesting word. How do you define "freedom" in your mind (or heart)?
veeeeeeeeeeeery interestin' discussion!!!
the "meeeeeeeeeaning" in a poem is up to the reader to interpret because a poem "comes" like a thought, a sound, a fragrance, a fresh breeze, etc.etc.etc.
the 2nd person pronoun "you" is also risky in writing....
who is "you?"
you?
me?
she?
or none of the above?
in this poem, "you" was intended to be a "higher being," if you ask me...
so, r.c., you have all the freedom to interpret it....:)
y.y.'s understanding is very helpful....
the musicality in poetry is not quite like that of music because a poem is to be "read" by the mouth, the eyes, the mind....and visually it's also different from music.....but there is very much common ground between the two art forms...
This short stanza is like an intermezzo in music - - - those stanzas starting with ‘I am grateful” are passionate; if this stanza were taken out, then I would say this poem would be a burning piece, or the emotion and feelings would be flooding. But with it, it punctuates your mind to think and calm you down - - - which is one of great qualities of zz’s poems, Meditative..
To me, ‘You” are something which exists and does not change because of our ignorance or our lack of knowledge - - - for example, love, soul, life, or those abstract objects we have talked over and over.
“You remain silent, waiting & loving all the same”.
To visualize this line, just think of Mother - - - what can it mean to you?
What is returning?
Just a thought : )
LTG: I am still trying to interpret the poem. I am not sure what does "you" refer to in the poem. Also can you explain a little bit more about "You remain silent, waiting & loving all the same"
To the poets, like you and YY, my question might be silly. Hope you understand that sometimes a person without much poetic sense can get lost among the words..:))
//
About the short stanza. I don't know whether intentionally breaking a flowing piece or change rhythm is a good idea or not. I understand that in music changing the speed (allegro, adagio, etc) can enrich the melody. But I don't know whether it can produce the same effects in a condensed poem piece...I really don't know..:))
比如“赤子之心”古文中也指真感情，結果被“赤色分子”用爛了，一說到“赤”就讓人反感，殊不知沒有“赤子之心”甭想得到愛情，得到快樂......這就是我這個享樂派理解的“真知”......
這個世界，不知道是誰把一些好詞兒搞得那麽混亂，而我呢，我隻想用他們最樸實的意思......所以作舟說：
i think we all need "revolution" inside ourselves....
我百分百讚同！
:))
very true!!!
some poets in history indeed caused "revolution" when the reality sucked...
on another level, i think we all need "revolution" inside ourselves....if we do that, the world might be a better place without people killing each other in the name of "revolution"...
影雲用引號的“革命” 一詞很秒，其實“革命”對生命個體的本意就是要命，就是痛苦。我是個享樂派，不想被“革命”，不想痛苦，隻對好日子快活日子感興趣……於是就借你們的詩歌探索有肉體又有靈魂的生命可能性……
所以我說讀者很享受……
對這首詩歌的形式，我也有同感，沒有那一小段，那詩歌的形式，就變得很“革命”，
會落俗一些，我喜歡它的舒緩 :)
水滴, it's great that you can relate this piece with your own experience! Your observation on that shorter stanza is really good. The reason I changed the sentence length is to "break the pattern" of " I'm grateful...." It serves to "slow down" the poem, or getting into another dimension...
Traditionally, such patterns are too common and out-of-date. I took risk of using them, and realized that I didn't want all that.
z.f. wrote, "我們讀者真是享受啊，詩人的聲音，我們得現成的......人生的答案就在詩歌中！！！"
actually, you have written a lot for us to read :) don't feel "guilty"!:)
AAAB, glad you like it.....thank you!
這段很關鍵，花在這裏是比喻，有利他之意。
真愛不可不為己，不可不為人……
你是要一雙孤燕掠地高飛的真愛
還是要一對鴛鴦池邊獨立的肉體之愛？
鴛鴦之愛確實不需要這一段，但愛情幻想終會破滅……
我認為人之所以痛苦很大原因是因為
人們幻想愛情但又不知道愛情是什麽
人們追求理想但又不知道理想是什麽
人們需要精神但也不知道精神是什麽
如此，到頭來自然容易萬事皆空……
我在想，要想得自由（肉體與靈魂），恐怕首先要自由我們的思想，掙脫所有已有的思想束縛，求真知，不然何去何從？？？不然痛苦也不知道痛苦的根由，生命短暫，白白痛苦，不值得……想辦法從痛苦中解脫，詩歌在幫我們探索，因為詩人的敏感與真實和文字的功夫……
我們讀者真是享受啊，詩人的聲音，我們得現成的......人生的答案就在詩歌中！！！小說或傳記很有可能有偏見，但詩歌不會騙人，隻要是真的詩歌，無論是寫真愛還是寫鴛鴦之愛，我們自由思想仔細領悟是能得到答案的……
一己之言，僅供參考……
:)
I have been reading this poem over and over. It just my personal feelings that if you took away the verse "Each room is a poem Each poem a flower that grows deeper Into the soil at my finger tips" the whole piece will have a better sense of flow.
I’m grateful for your open arms
Making me realize that I have never left you
==============================================
回歸
我滿懷感激這精疲力竭的旅程
那裏，海如此廣闊，而
幾滴水就能令我止渴
我滿懷感激沿途所有聽過的歌聲
所有遇見的人，已逝的活著的
說著同樣的言語
遙遠的距離隻會將你更近
領入我白日的勞累
於喧嘩的沉默裏
我已學會收集星辰來輕啟夜晚
每一間屋是一首詩
每一首詩是一朵花
在指尖深入泥土
我滿懷感激你張開雙手
我才明白從未離開過你
(歸來時赤條條如舊)
我滿懷感激這迷惑與苦酒
於微小如詩釋放我之前
一飲而盡
但“自由”是多麽的自欺欺人阿！
如今“奴隸”自由駕馭
如機器裏的齒輪飛轉
“我回來了！”我告知黑牆
滿懷感激不知道自己是誰
(忘卻自己，即便一日，是多麽地神奇阿)
你沉默無語，依然地等待，依然地愛
(A projective thinking, hope you don't mind.:)))
I bet you finished reading E. Fromm's "Escape From The Freedom". :))
“圓”
“圓滿”
“智圓行方”
“大事大圓成，小事小圓轉，每句如珠圓”
“詩人賦物，如水掬在手，自作圓球之形”
“A poem round and perfect as a star”
:)
Henry Miller says that there is no short cut in our journey of life, the seemingly most difficult one turns out to be the easiest.
The grateful attitude toward life that accepts life as it is and makes the most joy out of it is one of the greatest rewards that life has given us.
“Give me a lime, I will make lemonade”
love it!!!
:)