不掙錢也是一計上策

錢這玩藝兒，可是一個太敏感、太不可缺少的事了。有錢是富有的象征，無錢隻好想盡辦法去掙錢。能否掙錢是衡量人在金錢商品世界的價值高低和多少的尺碼，有能力的人們挖空心思盡可能的想辦法多去賺錢。掙錢之策也表現的各有千秋，有的很輕鬆但得著不少，有的下很大功夫才有可觀所得，有的花很多時間卻得的不多，還有的靠著先生幹脆不掙錢。

  先生把我出去賺錢叫做體驗生活，其實他並不指望我掙多少。的確，我也實實在在地體驗了六年左右。那早去晚歸，加班加點，忽閑忽忙，長途駕車的勁兒啊，如今想起仍覺心提到嗓子眼兒裏了，心跳加速。如果要不是掙錢為了家庭利益，才甘心情願吃苦受累，不然，我是不情願上那種班的。

  機會把我從掙錢的前線，撤回到家中的後方。每天從早忙到晚，可是，最明顯地是心裏輕鬆。我告訴先生，無論任何時候，隻要家庭需要，我都會隨時重返“錢”線，重操舊業，為家庭效力。這是一開始，我對先生的安慰和對自己有一種虧欠感覺的釋放。

誰料想到，到了年底報稅，多年來，忙忙道道從不曾去想的事情發生了。多年報稅從來沒像今年這樣報得少，退得多。如果要不是沒有辦法的辦法才留在家中，如果隻是一個心眼兒想著出去工作賺錢，誰有機會去比較少一人工作和多增家中一員的報稅差別呢？！如果我仍然固執己見強求去上班的話，那一年的奔忙不是白辛苦了嗎？我的心悠然得以釋放，真是有福不在忙啊！仔細算一算，多添一孩子，少一人工作，少報多退一大筆，兒子不用送出去又省一萬左右，大兒子又拿到獎學金又省了一大筆。哇唔！多年來，就是兩口子一起出去工作的年純淨收入所得也從來沒有這麽高過！天助我也！

難怪我身邊的好多美國家庭，若丈夫有較可觀的職業收入，太太一般都在家中做家庭主婦或偶爾臨時兼個半職或為社區和教會做些義工。不掙錢，果真有它的好處所在。一種過去隻顧拚命埋頭掙錢，不顧抬頭看路，隻不過是枉費心機，白白辛苦的感覺油然而生。先生樂了說：“你就在家裏呆著吧。”可不是，他能安心在外工作，不用顧慮家裏，回家有現成的飯等著，隻要他有事可做，家中經濟收入並不減少，何樂而不為呢？！

看來，有時在一定程度上，不掙錢也是一計明智的上策。當然掙錢也是沒有止境的，人追求錢的欲望也是永無止境的，可是，滿足自己的所得，持守家中，不用外出過分辛苦忙碌，一樣不少分文的感受，也可稱作天倫之樂了。

不過，麵對這無情激烈競爭的世界，我還是時刻準備著上“錢”線的，如果有任何必要的話。

[toobusy]

回複sunflower28的評論:
well, you need to pay private school whether the mother works or not. SO the only difference here is the nanny's salary. And i make much more than what you calculated. My husband even makes much more than what I make. So you are right, this is a personal choice. For me, working actually helps my emotional and mental health.

[鹽光]

回複sunflower28的評論:
我們家的情況基本上是，到年終報稅查表結算，兩人工作和一人工作，家庭總收入沒有多大差別。當然，說工作不是為錢也好，可是要花時間和精力的，時間和精力也是很寶貴的。如果我去上班有個事業，也隻是為了占著那個職位和工作機會，對家庭收入沒有多大影響，同時，我也失去了我的時間和精力，不能去接每周在校參加好幾次數學活動和交響樂隊的兒子，還得把老小送出。不去工作，錢不缺少，也擁有了我自己支配的時間和精力，隻是把外邊的全職事業轉變成了在家的全職事業。的確成了出去不出去工作是個人選擇的狀況了。多謝您的評論！

[sunflower28]

To toobusy,

If a couple earn 6 figure each, your after tax income is 50% or less. If your kids go to private school with full aid, that's $50,000 cash. a nanny, etc, cost you $15,000. That's total $65,000(AMT may cost you more). This equals to $130,000 salary.

Finally, I believe in this situation, working or not is a personal choice.

[鹽光]

回複jwayne_1的評論:
家庭就像公司一樣，目前在家也是全職工作。等孩子大了，我還有很多的事要做。多謝您的評論！

[鹽光]

回複xintong2006的評論:
我先生要聽到您對他的誇讚一定很高興！他就喜歡別人誇他是好男人，為了這個家，他每天都在努力鑽研和工作，用腦對他是一種享受！多謝您的評論！

[鹽光]

回複木蘭木蘭的評論:
二十三年的朝朝暮暮，相互學習，彼此理解，夫妻倆對婚姻的理解更加深刻。
神給了我們很多的恩賜，總是帶領我們該走的路，看顧我們的需求，我每天都充滿感激，也充滿喜樂平安！

[yiqingshen]

回複pinshiwang的評論:

Thank you, pinshiwang, for your advice.

"It is good to go back to work.Next time if you want your husband to do chores but he doesn't, just tell him to get off the house or you move out. For a wife and a husband, the most important is to respect each other." -I won't move out. He will be the one.

"Don't care about how much you invested in the family, and how much your husband owned now. It is sunk cost. You never get them back." - Yes, I will get it back. It is called the investement for his career and it will be taken into account in alimony.

Have a nice weekend.

[xintong2006]

要想不為五鬥米折腰,也得有一個象你的好老公一樣的人在身邊才行呀
嗬嗬

[pinshiwang]

回複yiqingshen的評論:Technically, I think it is better for the family to be a house wife, but it is not good for yourself. for me, I won't take the risk to rely on my husband completely. Maintainting independence is very important for a female. It is nothing to do with money.

It is good to go back to work.Next time if you want your husband to do chores but he doesn't, just tell him to get off the house or you move out. For a wife and a husband, the most important is to respect each other.

Be yourself! If your husband doesn't care about your feeling, it would be fine. But you have to care about yourself and respect yourself. If you can earn respect from your husband, ok! If you can't, it is unnecessay to stay with him. Don't care about how much you invested in the family, and how much your husband owned now. It is sunk cost. You never get them back. If you are still stay at home and endure him, you will lose more.

[木蘭木蘭]

竊以為為錢而不得不去工作是世界上最痛苦的事。看起來你很開心，你先生也看到你對家庭所作的貢獻-雖然你並沒有帶回家一份工資單，這樣的先生也難得，想必他很愛你，也有能力支持家庭由你選擇是否出去工作。這樣(也許是暫時的)分工隻要你們兩個人都開心就很好啊。真心希望你有更多時間發展個人興趣，生活過得充實開心就好：）。

[鹽光]

目前留在家裏是我最好的選擇，以後怎樣就看神的帶領了！多謝各位忠告！

[yiqingshen]

Yes, I am getting back to my own feet now, as my youngest is going to kindergarten this fall.

Based on my experience and observation, although my husband won't say that he wants me to work, deep down, he expects me to do all work at home as well as having an income. I don't want to generalize it. It could be a reference to those who want to quit job.

Finally I no longer counting how much I have to pay for a babysitter and see if it worth working. I paid a huge price for it.

[toobusy]

回複yiqingshen的評論:

your husband is unbelievable! maybe it is time for you to consider going back to work?

I am a professional with a six-figure income. So even though I have a child I still work, because my salary could pay for 10 nannies. But I don't feel pressure as I tell myself I am working out of my choice, if it is too stressful I can quit any time (my husband has a pretty good income too). But I do feel that when my husband talks to his colleagues and friends about me he is proud of me, even though I do very little housework.

[jwayne_1]

money may not be important, but career is. many american women felt very empty and helpless after the kids no longer need them 24/7.

[yiqingshen]

I felt the same way the first two years. After three years staying at home, my husband took every thing granted. He no longer appreciate every meal he has after working, and does less and less at home.
It is the 6th year. That is what he told me after we had some argument:

"You are just the house maid. If you want to stay in this house, you have to do everything. Other wise, get out of my house and make your own living. ... Do you want me to pay you, pay you as a house wife?!
You are a failure in your career, a failure of life!"

Bt the way, I am a PhD who brought him from China all the way to US, and then sacrified everything for his career and children.

Jus be careful not to fall into the same path.