ZT致屁民的十四行詩——To Shitizen

To Shitizen

A Sonnet Dedicated to an Anonymous Shitizen

O, how harmoneyous doth thy country stand,
With thy departyments carassing thee,
Bunaildings vanishing as hath been plann'd,
And each mathblind assign'd a sexret'ry.

Enjoying freedamn thou must thank Green Dam,
And Great Fire Wall for guarding innernet,
Outside of which is evil Uncle Sam,
Whose lure of love is doom'd to be upset.

Commit thy suihide or grasp a knife,
Or keep thy smilence facing pu ss y-ups:
In democrazy thou know'st this is life,
Just like a dinning table full of cups.

On May the Thirty-fifth have candles lit,
For fellas martyrish'd by yakeshit.

Note:

shitizen = shit + citizen
harmoney = harmony + money
departyment = department + party
carass = caress + ass
bunailding = building + nail
sexretary = sex + secretary
freedamn = freedom + damn
innernet = inner + internet
suihide = suicide + hide
smilence = smile + silence
p us sy-up = p us sy + push-up
democrazy = democracy + crazy
yakeshit = yakexi + shit



老杜的翻譯：

A Sonnet Dedicated to an Anonymous Shitizen // 致屁民

O, how harmoneyous doth thy country stand, //啊，我們的國家多麽和諧，
With thy departyments carassing thee, //我黨整天忙著意淫，
Bunaildings vanishing as hath been plann'd, //釘子戶已被拔掉，
And each mathblind assign'd a sexret'ry. //每個愚蠢的官員都有小蜜。

Enjoying freedamn thou must thank Green Dam, //在綠壩裏享受自由，
And Great Fire Wall for guarding innernet, //在防火牆內上網，
Outside of which is evil Uncle Sam, //外麵是邪惡的山姆大叔，
Whose lure of love is doom'd to be upset. //整日引誘屁民讓我黨生氣。

Commit thy suihide or grasp a knife, //躲貓貓，或拿起刀子，
Or keep thy smilence facing pu ss y-ups:// 打醬油，或者俯臥撐：
In democrazy thou know'st this is life, //這就是我們的民主，
Just like a dinning table full of cups. //就像桌子上充滿杯具。

On May the Thirty-fifth have candles lit, //在5月35日點上燭火，
For fellas martyrish'd by yakeshit. //為了那些在亞克西歌聲中死去的殉道者。