2006 (4)
這兩年，Jerry在父親節總會給老爸送點禮物。都是用自己的錢買的，順手買點什麽
包裝一下，寫上“Happy Father's Day, Dad!"。老何覺得兒子有這個心就很好了，
到不在乎禮物是什麽。
近一年多來，兒子經常會突然對老爸冒出一句：“I love you, 爹爹!”，有時還上
來擁抱一下。老何一邊回答“I love you too”，一邊想：兒子越來越會說了，不
知是真的愛老爸，還是禮貌用語。不過聽了還是很高興。
老何曾試過兒子幾次：“把你送到別人家去做兒子好嗎？”。他總是說：“我哪裏
也不去，就在這裏。You are perfect, 爹爹”。老何想，這大概就是中國人說的
“兒不嫌母醜，狗不嫌家貧”吧。
有一天Jerry突然問：“為什麽會有戰爭？人為什麽要相互打戰呢？”老何感到兒子
長大了，開始想大事了。其實這個問題他也答不好，隻是說：“你長大了就會知道
為什麽”。
四月的一天，Jerry跟老爸去一個超市。他去玩那種投幣後，操縱釣鉤去釣小玩偶的
遊戲。結果花了兩塊錢，釣出來五個。有小熊，小猴，小狗，毛茸茸的，很可愛。
一個5，6歲的小姑娘眼巴巴地看著，老何想她肯定想要，就對兒子說：“送給她一
個吧？”。Jerry馬上就拿了一個給她。其餘四個他拿回家，找了一個很大塑料袋裝
上。第二天帶到學校，給了他的老師Mrs. G，說是給她還沒有出生的baby準備的禮
物。把Mrs. G. 感動得一塌糊塗，在通訊本裏寫了很多好話來表示她的感謝。
五月份，Mrs. G快要生孩子了，在要離開的那個星期五，舉辦一個告別Party。因為
老何曾經告訴她，別讓Jerry在學校隨便吃正餐以外的食品，比如冰淇淋，飲料，pizza等。
大概因為party上會有pizza，頭一天她在那個通訊小本上寫了一句話，問老何是不
是允許Jerry參加第二天的Party。結果那天老何碰巧沒有檢查兒子的書包，Jerry也
忘記了要老爸簽字。
第二天去接Jerry時，隻見他很悲哀的樣子，不停地說：“It is unfair。This is
my worst day in my life"(不公平。今天是我最糟糕的一天)。後來回家看見Mrs.
G 寫在本子上的話才知道，原來因為她沒有看到老何的簽字，準備不讓Jerry參加。
Jerry急了，就冒充老爸簽字，被Mrs. G抓住。不但不讓他參加Party，還讓他寫檢
討。所以他很sad。老何既要安慰兒子，還得說老師是對的。那天晚上，Jerry夢裏
一直在哭。老何的心也一陣陣的痛。
老何想和Mrs. G談一次的，但她已經離開。就打電話和Case Manager。說他從來就
沒有不讓孩子參加學校的party，根本沒有必要征求他的同意。Mrs. G 完全可以打
電話給老何問的，但卻沒有打。當然出了事，罰他也是應該的，讓他知道假冒簽字
是不能容忍的錯誤。不過可以讓他先參加party, 完了以後再用別的形式罰。Case
manager表示很理解孩子為什麽那麽做，完全同意老何說的，Mrs. G應該可以做得好
一點。
老何專門打電話與接任的老師說了對這件事的看法，要她如果碰上這種事務必打電
話給他，不要讓類似的情況再出現。新老師表示一定會靈活處理。
還好，過了兩天，Jerry便恢複了正常。
其實老何兩年前第一次見新來的Mrs. G就覺得她比較死板，加上說話有點吐詞不清，
曾經提出過要換老師。case manager說，你有什麽意見提出來，讓她改。這種感覺
的東西沒法提，加上Jerry也還喜歡她就算了。人沒有出現大問題，但小事上常常處
理不好。當然事情過去了就算了。
轉眼之間到了六月二十日，春季學期的最後一個星期天。明天就是他的小學畢業典
禮了。
早晨8點，老何醒來多時了，遲遲沒有起床，要享受一下周末睡懶覺的舒坦。兒子進
來了，對他說：“Good morning, 爹爹! Happy Father's Day!(父親節好!)”。老
何這才想起今天是父親節啊。兒子記得給老爸祝父親節愉快，太讓他高興了。他高
興地回應道：“Thank you very much!”。
兒子接著說：“爹爹!我已經給你準備好了早餐(I have cooked breakfast for you),
你現在可以起床享受你的早餐了(You can get up and enjoy the meal)”。何老爸
大喜過望，沒想到兒子起了一個大早，為他做了節日早餐。感動地連聲說：“Thank
you, thank you!"。他心想：“有你這份愛心，老爸我就是再苦再累也心甘情願啊
!”。
老何趕緊穿上衣服，洗臉漱口，走下樓去。隻見餐桌上有一個大盤，上麵有兩個煎
雞蛋，兩片烤麵包，兩片蘋果，還有一杯牛奶，旁邊放著刀叉，餐巾紙。看來還滿
像那麽回事的。
早晨的陽光透過百葉落地窗輕灑在餐桌上，老何第一次吃著兒子為他準備的早餐，
心裏甜蜜蜜的，“兒子是自己的好啊!”
Jerry走過來，對老爸說：“Dad, I love you! You know, you are the best father
in the world”(我愛你，爹爹。你知道，你是世界上最好的父親)。何老爸一把摟
過兒子，緊緊地抱住他，狠狠地在他的小臉上親了一口：“I love you too, my son!”。
第二天，Jerry參加了小學畢業典禮。白襯衫，黑領帶，黑褲，黑皮鞋，一副小帥哥
模樣。與一百來個同學一起走上台，從校長手裏接過畢業證書。然後看老師給他們
怕的幻燈片，記錄他們在學校的過去的照片，每當出現一個孩子的照片，所有孩子
高喊他/她的名字。全場一片叫喊聲，歡笑聲。接下來是party, 大家吃甜點，聊天。
Jerry與同學們，老師們打招呼，還不忘解釋自己的父母給老師們。不時地拉上同學
或老師，讓老何給他們拍照留念。
老何看著兒子興高彩烈的樣子，發自內心地笑了。
(全文完)
2010年8月10日於新澤西
此連載已經編撰成電子書同名電子書，在Amazon上發表。有興趣看全文的讀者，可以點擊鏈接：https://a.co/d/bftflfO
有人說：對自閉症孩子網開一麵是對正常孩子的不公平。“ --能這麽說的人非常漠視弱勢群體，沒有同情心，也非常無知。
Only when I became a father, I began to realize the responsbilities and difficulties in raising a child.
Best wishes to Jerry and family!
email: leweis@hotmail.com
謝謝理解與支持！
新澤西在這方麵有一套很明確詳細的係統。我對它的服務是很滿意的。有人說新澤西自閉兒童的比例遠遠大與其他州，是因為這邊的特殊教育係統很發達，發現自閉現象的能力要高與其他州，並不是真的比例高。
如果有居住在新澤西以外的父母有確診的孩子，我建議搬到新澤西。如有需要進一步了解情況，歡迎和我聯係。我相信何老爸也會樂與相助的。
"feelings and intentions"
1) "我是覺得你有好多方麵對AUTISM的理解太狹隘了.可以再去ACADEMIC裏麵再看看.看看最新的關於自閉症的.這裏是幾個網站你可以去看看.
WWW.AUTISMSPEAKS.ORG
http://www.autism-society.org"
Austism is a spectrum of disorder, not a single one. Differences of different children are obvious. I do not think that I need to mention that. The disorder covers a range of problems. In recent years, the number of children which are diagnosed so has jumped significantly. Some researchers highly suspected that the increase is because of the criteria for diagnosis. It has become a label which covers too many kinds of behaviour problems. The thing is, it is highly possitive in the sense for getting these children their needed helps, but in the meanwhile, it may also blur some boundaries. Different children may need different treatments.
2). "That is, these children seldom go for hugging people. In fact, they actively avoid any contact with other people. Hence, the disorder is translated 自閉症, they isolate themselves from normal social contacts. "
I am talking about these classic symptoms. The point is: if a child is diagnosed as an autist and he does not have these classic symptoms, it shall be a good thing and a slight relief to the parents since there are higher hopes for the parents that the child's situation can be improved.
z13341 said: "家裏有２個男孩，一個５歲半，一個４歲"。"我有很長的時間慢慢去糾正他"。When I read this, I feel rather sad for her. I am not sure when her son was diagnosed. If it was at a much earlier age, her hope is rather slim. (I should not have said this. Sorry, z13341)
3). "好多自閉症的孩子，their social incompetence就是和父母不能setting these rules clearly有關。"
When I mentioned that "setting rules for the kids", I did not mean that the parents shall discipline the child much harder (which seems that a lot of parents have interpreted in that way). What I mean is, to these autistic children, it is rather hard for them to understand other's feelings and intensions, correspondly make a judgement and have a proper response. Thus, parents, and the special social courses, have to help them learn these fundamental social rules the hard way (and the children learn these without understanding why). If as a parent, you could not tell where the boundaries are in certain typical social settings, you have lent your child in a guideless situation. Their panic reactions are sure to incure.
You guys are too defensive. I should stop explain myself now. Wish you all good luck.
盡管我不完全同意何先生的處理方式.總體來講.他很多方麵做的很好.你也許對自閉症有點了解.但是有些言論是錯誤的,比如說,
"好多自閉症的孩子，their social incompetence就是和父母不能setting these rules clearly有關。"
"That is, these children seldom go for hugging people. In fact, they actively avoid any contact with other people. Hence, the disorder is translated 自閉症, they isolate themselves from normal social contacts. "
我是覺得你有好多方麵對AUTISM的理解太狹隘了.可以再去ACADEMIC裏麵再看看.看看最新的關於自閉症的.這裏是幾個網站你可以去看看.
WWW.AUTISMSPEAKS.ORG
http://www.autism-society.org
GOOD ＬＵＣＫ
"你認為我不應該去說老師做得不對". I did not say that. On the contrary, I think you may contact the teacher and ask her to contact you by phone when any similar situations happen in the future. But I do think it may be an over-done to judge the teacher (i.e. Mrs. G) as "inflexible", or "not good enough". She is a good teacher, and it is in fact further confirmed from your last reply that she has insisted to give you the list of all children in her class for your Jerry's party.
"我認為你不是惡意，但你不懂自閉症". I have no evil intentions at all. I am lucky that I have no autistic children and deeply sympathise with the parents who are less lucky. My interest and knowledge in autisms is purely academic.
"很多跟貼都懷疑Jerry是不是自閉症". I understand that. I myself is also curious about his case, but not doubt it (don't mis-understand me). This is because, from your descriptions, Jerry is rather clearly short of one crucial symptom for being an autistic child. That is, these children seldom go for hugging people. In fact, they actively avoid any contact with other people. Hence, the disorder is translated 自閉症, they isolate themselves from normal social contacts.
A sad truth is that some of them do not even have emotional attachment to their parents, which make many parents questioning whether they have done something wrong or simply feeling heartbroken for the lack of mutual emotions. Jerry's case is quite opposite here. He seems easily attach to people. I remember you also mentioned that his has eye contacts with you at least. These are all rather good signs. You shall be rather happy about these. One thing for sure, his case is much less severe. He has the high chance to be one of the highly functioning patient.
I wish Jerry's diagnosis was not totally based on his lack of eye contacts with the experts (you said that before). The thing is, he has to meet several criteria to be considered as an autist, given this diagnosis can be so davastating to the family (was his diagnosed as autism or Asperger syndrome or other non-specified? ). If he looked at you when he was examined, his lack of eye contacts with the experts might be explained by his lack of understanding of what these experts were trying to do with him, thus he tried to search some clues from you. However, the situation must be much complex than these. Whether autistic or not, I do think Jerry was delayed in certain development, in particular his social skills.
If you may also have some doubt about his case, I guess you can seek a second diagnosis when Jerry grows slightly older. This does not necessarily for confirming or disconfirming the first diagnosis, but rather for you to know whether he has improved or not as well.
Best luck!
從外人的眼裏看，這些孩子從小就不聽話，不自覺，在學校調皮搗蛋，不聽講。以為是被父母慣壞了。我今年帶我家二子回國，就被不明真相的爺爺奶奶們批評了，說不待這樣慣孩子的。因為他們看到的是一個小家夥在蠻不講理，而他的媽媽在旁邊不斷的耐心說教，不與懲罰。
如果不是在美國，我不知道，不了解有問題，我的孩子以後也得給毀了。
不過他還小，我有很長的時間慢慢去糾正他。但切記不能以正常小孩的標準要求他。
我碼這麽多字是因為我私下裏知道有很多我這樣的父母在看帖子，但沒出聲。這是對他們講的，並以此自勉。
我檢查了一下自己的留言，可能是為了少打字，省略了很多虛詞，以至於我的講話顯得很生硬。檢討一下。
我其實工作壓力挺大，因為從事金融領域方麵的開發。而家裏有２個男孩，一個５歲半，一個４歲。孩子的爸爸一則工作忙，二則比較大男子。幫的忙很少。我一般都是上班的時候偷偷的在發帖，而且隻在對子女教育的話題上花時間，所以打字能省則省。
總而言之，我對這個問題中心意思其實是，遇到這種＂老師party事件＂，雖然老師照章辦事，但對這個問題的處理上有失妥當。作為家長一定要和老師友好溝通，減少類似事情的發生。而且應當對所有孩子通用，並不是隻有自閉孩子才需要。
很多跟貼都懷疑Jerry是不是自閉症，說是老爸反應過度，我沒有回答。你是我唯一表示我的意見的。你認為我不應該去說老師做得不對，因為孩子有錯。我認為你不是惡意，但你不懂自閉症，你將對正常孩子的嚴要求與怎麽對待自閉症孩子混為一談。這不是你一個人，很多人都這麽認為，所以我覺得要寫出我的觀點。
我女兒沒有自閉症，我對她很嚴格，以至於她很反感我。孩子不同，處理必須不同。有些自閉症家長在外界的這種期望壓力下，孩子一錯，不是責罵孩子，就是自責自己。不但於事無補，還產生了反效果，結果孩子狀況越來越差。
其實S女士除了最後搞詭計以外，她看起來都是有道理的。但在法律上，她就不能那樣做。教育部最後並沒有提她無中生強加在Jerry頭上的罪名，她前麵做的其他事就足夠讓ASCC離開學校，因為她們並沒有遵從保護殘疾人的法律。
一個讀者看了我的文章，寫悄悄話給我。她的兒子三歲多時，兒科醫生告訴她，你兒子很可能是自閉症，讓她去檢查。結果她和鄰居，一個美國婦女說起，鄰居說：醫生瞎說，他才有病呢！結果她聽信了鄰居的，沒有給孩子檢查。後來孩子在學校跟不上班，沒有朋友，還老惹禍。她生氣就老批評他。孩子10歲時，一次因為別人霸占玩具不讓他玩，他一氣之下說：“我要殺了你們”，學校報告了警察，還要開除他。後來她請了律師， 律師讓她給孩子檢查有沒有智障，才發現是自閉症。學校才沒有開除他，還把他納入特殊教育，但他失去了最佳的矯正時間。媽媽也後悔當年沒有聽醫生的。
有人說：對自閉症孩子網開一麵是對正常孩子的不公平。這隻能說這種人缺乏起碼的同情心和對自閉症的嚴重不了解。
美國是一個保護弱勢群體的社會，法律上，社會意識上都充分體現了。有很多讀者說：Jerry這樣的人如果在中國就完了。我完全同意。
看到你的反應，可以理解。1）party在學校開，不等於是公事。2）。Jerry沒有參加party，是因為老何沒簽字。3）老師批評孩子，是因為孩子假冒大人的簽名。
to: 何老爸
我隻是說，there are highly functioning autists.沒講他們是正常的。隻是說functions like normal. 也就是表明行為接近正常。 好多讀帖的爸媽們，都講道孩子是“輕微”的自閉，這種情況，應該是很有希望啊
何爸爸很defensive阿。 抱歉，以後不來打攪了。
全班人都在吃著PIZZA，開著PARTY，隻有你的小小孩一個人被放在別的房間裏，聽著同學們嘻笑打鬧的聲音，我想任何一個家長都會感到不公的吧。
遇到這種情況，家長不去及時和老師溝通，難道指望孩子去溝通？
要不怎麽有法定年齡的規定。在孩子成人之前，家長得付１００％的責任。
我想我應該回應你的comments, 不僅僅是要表達我的觀點，而且對那些有自閉症孩子的家長們也會有好處。因為你的回答代表了一些人的觀點。我想很多家長正是在這種觀點的壓力下，試著去按照讓孩子最終成為一個正常的人，能夠自己自立，應付任何不友好的歧視，但是發現做不到，結果不是放棄，就是自責，根本不可能還說出自己的苦惱來。這是誤解。自閉症的家長們應該知道，我們的孩子99%以上不可能成為正常人，他們或多或少需要社會的支持，政府的保護，還有家長一生的嗬護。
回到你的問題。這一段“The party thing, it is a private thing outside of the teacher's school duty. It might be her choice not to invite Jerry in the first place. However, it was very nice of her that she did send the invitation, maybe informal as you mentioned below (This also told us her soft side and she appreciated the toys Jerry gave her)”
老師的party,在學校教師正常上課的時間開的，不知道怎麽能被你定為“private"?此其一。其二，對於老師的這個party, 她說了是想學生們再見的party。她如果單單不請Jerry,那她是什麽意思？二月份Jerry生日party,我征求她的意見，請她提一個與Jerry關係好的名單，我們要邀請。她說，她不能提供部分名單。如果要邀請必須邀請全體同學，不然人家認為不平。那是Jerry的private party,在周末，學校外麵的一個party專店做的。我們邀請了所有的孩子，special education, 還有正常班的孩子，一共近40人。當時想要一個單子，就是因為怕人太多，哪裏地方沒有那麽大。後來覺得她說得對，就邀請了所有的孩子。
你的判斷與論斷是建立你的猜測與主管臆斷之上，完全不符合事實。你的其他觀點我也就不再一一回答了。我相信，讀者自有他們的判斷力。
1。父母和孩子的感情，正常情況下，是互相的愛。可與外人相交往，感情的付出不一定是互等的。我覺得，何爸應該到了讓Jerry知到（盡管他不理解）這一social fact(It is rather common that you love someone, but this someone will not give you the expected response. On the opposite, this unwanted love may bring extra uncomfortable feelings to the person being loved. I am not sure whether this might be the cases that in the past, some people complained about Jerry's hugs). Knowing this cold but true fact, a child like Jerry 會有更多的可能學習別人對他的真實感受，並學會怎麽樣適度反應(behavioural responses)，今後才會減少更多的heartbroken,進而徹底對自己失去信心。
2. 孩子終於要長大，要有一天獨立，這也包括自閉症的孩子。做父母的(with a child apart from being autistic, the child is intellectually rather competent), 是希望他能夠functions like a normal person in the social environment, or being treated as an autistist and expecting everyone giving him or her their extra cares ? For parents with the second thought, I would not like to comment further. I am talking to the parents who at least, wish their children can grow up and be treated like everyone else, in the meanwhile fully understand that their children are disadvantaged by being autistic.
For one thing, the highly functioning autists can have good jobs, have friends and respects from others, but only if their social behaviours can be accepted by the people surrounding them. However, this acceptance is not only based on other people's sympathy and extreme tolerances, but also based on the social behaviours of these autistic people themselves. There is always a certain sort of boundary there (invisible in most of the times), no one can cross. 做父母的, must be really clear about this. In order to help their children, certain social boundaries, which we can know intuitively but they cannot, shall be clarified to them.
3. Like all teachers, the special teachers are also ordinary people. A lot of them have the jobs only for paying the bills, and they are often underpaid. As long as they are highly responsible and reliable in their jobs, that is what the society is asking for, and they are already doing very well. A teacher for children with special needs sometimes may take care of several kids. It is unrealistic to expect him or her to take care of every kid with full patience and energy like a parent does.
The party thing, it is a private thing outside of the teacher's school duty. It might be her choice not to invite Jerry in the first place. However, it was very nice of her that she did send the invitation, maybe informal as you mentioned below (This also told us her soft side and she appreciated the toys Jerry gave her). If you still insist on that she should have called you, I am afraid that the case is she might be going to regret or perhaps already deeply bothered that she had sent the invitation to your little Jerry. If the case manager did contact her about your complain, I bet she will learn or being warned by the family or friends that in the future she shall strictly separate her private life from her professional work. That is, no invitation to any other students with special needs in similar circumstances.
何老爸, you may be a little confused about the response from the case manager. One thing is, if I were her, I will be extremely cautious in replying any of your complains. Why? You have sued the district and won your case, right?(I fully agreed that you should win and they deserved what they had to face). It is simply the fact that no one like to be sued and they need their jobs. Being cautious is the best strategy.
Certainly, how to raise a child is totally up to his or her parents. Will all my due respect, forgive me if I have said something upsetting to you. All my best wishes to your Jerry and your family
謝謝你的理解。
我能理解你放棄自己的一切，為了孩子，我也有同樣的經曆：曾做過家庭主婦，現在為了孩子還隻能幹Part TIME的工作。為了孩子，換過很多次工作。每次幹的得心應手，而不得不放棄時，我是很絕望的。但是，我感謝孩子，正是她的特殊，讓我有了許多不同於別人的經驗和感受，還讓我有了自信，沒有可以讓我畏難的事情。
我覺得，你所做的一切努力，不會徒勞的。很期待看到你的下一個係列。
也期待不斷看到Jerry進步的報道。
祝福你們全家！
真的非常感謝你的文章。
＂我知道的就有幾個家庭由於有自閉的孩子而父親受不了走了＂（五味七色
）。這個真可怕。自閉的孩子需要比正常的孩子多得多的關愛。我家的這個爸爸也很次。但看在他能經常抱著孩子打個kiss什麽的份上，認為他對孩子還是有用的。
何老爸是個＂異類＂。我本人在我的生活當中沒見過，小說除外。要不是我自己就是個自閉兒的母親，能讀懂何老爸的文章，我會以為又一篇華麗麗的小說誕生了。
向何老爸致個敬。
我沒有說老師錯，老師也可以罰，我回來也告訴他那麽做是不對的。我從來不袒護孩子。
對於自閉症的孩子是不能和同樣孩子那麽處理的，所以普通老師很難教自閉症孩子，我們才有特殊教育。很多人不同意對自閉症孩子要處理不一樣，認為是不公平。這是沒有真正理解自閉症和其他有問題的孩子。她是自閉症老師，她應該知道。她的通知是非正式，寫在本子上，不是打印的，也沒有提前幾天。而且隻是頭一天才寫。她知道我們並不天天查的。她可以打電話，頭一天，或當天。其實就是普通老師都可能打電話。這點Case manager完全同意我的觀點。她就常常打電話征求我的意見，有關長期的，還是馬上需要我點頭的。
出了事，她可以變通一個方式罰。既讓他認識到問題，又不很傷他的心。他就是太愛老師，才想參加她的party。才給她送了贏來的所有玩偶動物。他被罰過，被開除過，但沒有一次那麽傷心過。因為這麽愛她，才這麽傷心。這種事常常會導致自閉症孩子狀況惡化。ASCC就是缺少愛心，動究罰他，也沒有錯，但問題反而越來越嚴重。YMCA對他比較關愛，問題反而消失了。
他們的心很善良，但很易感，很容易受傷。這也就是我為什麽多年來一直觀察他，試著用不同的方法去引導，才可能讓他克服心理障礙，別的老師與教練沒有辦法讓他做的學習，鍛煉。
希望你能理解。
再小聲說一下：Mrs，G,從你文中的描述，應該是位難得的認真負責的好老師。她死板，才說明她的可靠。你自己的疏忽，怎能怪老師沒能給你打電話。：）另外，她教給jerry一個非常重要的social rule. 就是不能偽造。Jerry有自閉，學習這種social rules和別的孩子不一樣，容不得模糊。懲罰是必要的。好多自閉症的孩子，their social incompetence就是和父母不能setting these rules clearly有關。
很有心的父親！祝福你們一家人～
由於你的付出，使jerry進步快速，由於你的付出，讓jerry 有個美滿的家庭生活（我知道的就有幾個家庭由於有自閉的孩子而父親受不了走了）。
謝謝分享你的感受和經曆。。。
祝願jerry 快樂，健康，更有進步！
AUTISM不能算MENTAL ILLNESS是發育的問題.現在還沒定論.祝願一切順利.
希望通過這篇文章，大家對自閉症以及所有的患有Mental illness的人多一份關注，多一些理解，多一點寬容。
也希望家裏有病孩的朋友，不要悲觀，配合學校，改善孩子的狀況。
2008年1月底教育部回複我對學區的指控（其實是市政府）後一年多我才與少數幾個朋友說，他們都鼓勵我寫出來，但我一直猶豫。直到一個月多前，兒子給我做父親節早餐後才讓我最後下決心寫。而且從頭寫，不隻寫那場官司，而要寫他。
兒子改善很多，但仍然還有問題，還需要努力。隻要盡力了就沒有什麽遺憾的。