美國長大的麥克怎樣看父母

美國長大的麥克怎樣看父母 白雪 我在中文學校做義工，這兩年暑假時給孩子們開了些免費課程，注意收集一些孩子的文章。為了讓他們充分地表達自己的想法，允許他們用英文去寫。我把其中的一篇翻譯出來，供大家一讀。（原文附上） 麥克是十四歲男孩，在美國長大。他在美國學校是尖子學生，在中文學校也是佼佼者。他的鋼琴技藝更是精湛，曾多次獲獎。看看他是怎樣看待中國父母和美國父母教育孩子的。 麥克 噢噢……, 你是不是覺得要做的事情太多，你的腦袋簡直要爆炸了？你肯定是這樣，雖然說你的大腦已經沒有空隙這麽想。如果把這種感覺再加十倍，就幾乎是每個中國學生的感覺。中國學生給人的印象是，在學校裏個個是刻苦讀書並拿全“A”的天才，從來不製造麻煩，都是班裏的尖子，是好中之最好。然而，中國學生為這種形象付出了巨大的代價。中國家長比美國家長要嚴格的多。他們願意為孩子提供最好的條件並希望他們成為尖子。在中國文化裏，“中遊”是不夠的。正像一位中國家長說的那樣：“每個人都可以做到良好，但是應該做得比良好更好，要當尖子就要付出更大的代價。”由於中國嚴酷的文化大革命背景，不難理解中國父母認為唯一的成功之路就是成為尖子。隻有當了尖子，他們才最後滿意。 另一方麵，美國文化是圍繞著“生命是短暫的，要充分地享受它”的信條。家長們也為孩子提供最好的條件並希望他們成為最好，但是他們的第一條原則是讓孩子享受生活，允許他們活得充實、豐富。對美國家長來說，中遊就很好了，孩子不需要當尖子，隻要比起其他學生來還不錯就行了。這就是為什麽在美國文化裏長大的學生一般隻求良好，很少爭尖子。 兩種文化在發生碰撞的時候反差最為明顯。舉個例子，有兩個學生，一個是中國學生，另一個是美國學生，他們都在數學考試中得了99分。美國學生回家告訴父母他在數學考試中拿了99分，父母會興奮而激動，甚至會買些禮物獎勵他的成績。而中國學生回到家裏告訴父母他的分數，父母便問“丟掉的那一分是怎們回事？”或“怎麽這麽簡單的問題還會出錯？”接著，他們會讓孩子到自己的房間裏去，把丟分的那道題再學習一遍。再舉一個例子，中國學生和美國學生都想去看電影，但是中國學生在周日絕對不可能去，到了周末還要做大量的功課，即使做完功課，父母可能會以“太晚了”或“明天還要早起床”為理由而不讓他們去。而美國父母則隻是說“好吧，要當心，給你錢，玩兒個高興，再見！” 中美文化有很多方麵的差異，在這裏不能一一列舉。中國父母的方法很生硬很嚴格，而美國父母的卻很放鬆。說不上誰對誰錯，因為文化背景決定了教子方式。我個人認為，教育學生最好的辦法是取中間道路。要幫助孩子取得成功，必須嚴格。然而應該讓你的孩子享受生活，使他們不至於因為壓力太大而走向自殺。這樣說好像有點兒誇張，但是這樣的事情的確發生過。 原文 Michael AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Have you ever felt like that, where you seem not be able to think, you have so much to do that your head seem to want to burst? Of course you have. Now imagine that feeling times ten. It just so happens that almost every Chinese student feels like that. Chinese people are looked at in their schools as geniuses, hard-working students that get straight-A’s, people that never get in trouble, who are the top in their class, the best of the best. However, that label comes with a heavy price to Chinese students. Chinese parents are much stricter than their American counterparts. They want the best for their children and they want their children to be the best. In a Chinese culture, “average” is not good enough. As one Chinese parent said, “Anybody can be good, but to be better than good, to be the best is much harder to achieve.” With their harsh background through the Chinese Cultural Revolution, it’s easy to understand how Chinese parents feel the only way to succeed in life is to be the best. Once that level is reached, then and only then, is “good enough” finally achieved. American culture, on the other hand, revolves around one line, “Life is short, make the best of it.” Parents still want the best for their children, but their first priority is for their children to enjoy life, and allow them to live it to the fullest. To them, average is great. Children don’t need to be the best, as long as they are pretty good compared to other students. That is why it is quite common for a student living in the American culture to be good, but rarely are they the best. The differences between these two cultures become far more noticeable when they clash. Take this for example, two students, one Chinese, one American, both get a 99% on a math test. The American student goes home, tells his parents he earned a 99% on a math test, and they become ecstatic, maybe even going so far as to buy their children a present for their success. The Chinese student goes home and presents his score to his parents, and they start asking the child questions like “What happened to the other point,” or “How could you miss an easy question like that?” In the end, they make the student go up to his room to study the problems that they missed. Another example would be when students of each culture want to go out to the movies. Chinese students would never be able to go on a weekday, and on weekends, they must have all of their work done. Even then, their parents might have them stay home, saying it’s too late, or how they’d have to get up early tomorrow morning. American parents would just say, “Alright, be careful, here’s some money, and have fun. Bye!” The differences in these cultures are many, and the examples are too many to list. The policy of Chinese parents is very harsh and strict, while that of American parents are very lax. There isn’t a right or wrong policy to choose, as long as the one that is chosen is toward your liking. The best way to teach students in my opinion is to try to find a median between these policies. You have to try to help your child succeed and by doing that, you must be strict. However, you also need to allow them to enjoy themselves so as they won’t commit suicide from being too depressed. That may sound like an exaggeration, but it’s been known to happen.