父母對子女：要求越低，驚喜越多

昨晚開了老師家長會。去之前就問兒子：你想和老爸一起去見老師嗎？兒子說最好就老爸去，他在賣書的地方等。老爸問他為什麽，他說他不是很肯定他的成績，不好意思見老師。老爸說，沒關係，努力過後，是什麽就是什麽。成績是過去式。要是老師告訴你那裏要努力，你就更該聽聽了。就這樣，兒子被老爸趕鴨子上架去見老師了。

坐下來，老師就開兒子的玩笑："What do you think about your grade? As or Bs?"

兒子不好意思，說，"Probably Fs。"

"Do you really want Fs? I can change now." 老師將了兒子一軍。兒子隻好傻笑了。

"Ok, all As, buddy. You have done a good job."然後轉頭和我談："They all have done well. Don;t pay too much attention to these subjects that he has not reached the highest scores, that is because we are still working on them. "老師手指指向那些標了”2“的欄目（3是最高分）。

老爸掃了一眼，給老師簽字，就算把兒子半個學期的成績過目完畢。老師又從兒子的文件夾裏拿出一張彩色的報告單："This is the standard test report. You took the test last semester. I don;t know why it ended up in my hands, any way. Very good job."

噢，知道，這是全州統考成績，兒子上學期就考了，報紙上早就有各個學校的比較，但一直沒看到個人成績。老師指給我們看：“Don;t look at the scores. They are confusing. Just look the percentile. You did a great job, too."

老爸看了一眼，還不錯，比老爸想象的要好--reading, math, science分別是96，99，96%。想想兒子去年在gifted班上的掙紮，這個成績也是來之不易的。

和老師道別，走出教室，兒子趕緊拿過標準考試成績單，自己一行一行讀起來。看到這個percentile,連忙問："Dad, this is national percentile, does this mean I beat a lot of kids in other states, too?"

"Yes. However, our state is not the best. Generally speaking, MA and CA are good for education. We are probably in the middle level of the country. Listen, you have spent one year in gifted program to achieved this. If you continue to work hard, you will be even better..."

大概自己也覺得不錯，挺高興，拉著老爸去賣書的地方，挑了一本老師要的書，跑回教室，恭恭敬敬地送給了老師。

在許多場合，孩子往往會顯示出他們對成績無所謂的態度。但其實他們心底是很想討父母喜歡，很在乎父母的想法的。所以，父母要求低一些，自己驚喜，也容易對孩子采取積極態度。這種積極態度對孩子也會有激勵作用。

（二0一0年十月二十九日）