最新文章
文章分類
歸檔
2007 (124)
2008 (55)
2009 (54)
2010 (76)
2014 (50)
2017 (70)
2018 (68)
2019 (49)
2020 (31)
2021 (30)
2022 (19)
正文
兒子最近脾氣大。昨天一到家就看他一個人在family room玩。老爸到家，也沒有過來迎接一下。老爸問了句：“Did you have a good day in school?”
兒子頭也沒抬地回答：“Yes.”
到了吃飯的時候，媽媽叫兒子吃飯，兒子就是不來，還不耐煩地說“ I know.”
看他那沒精打采的樣子，老爸就隨口問了句：“有人在學校欺負你了嗎？”
兒子才抬起頭說：“Yes, Arnold smashed my finger on my desk.”
“Did you call your teacher?”
“Yes, I did. She did not response.”
老師對兒子一向還不錯，怎麽會呢？可能不是大事吧。就問兒子：“What happended?”
“It's my desk. Arnold said it was not. So he smashed my finger.”
看看他的手指，沒什麽事。就問：“Did you fight back?”
“It is not allowed in school to fight back bully kids. ”
“Then, what should you do?”
“1st, ignore; then if she/he keep bothering you, walk away; finally, if she/he does not stop, report to grown-ups.”
看來口訣還背得不錯呢。老爸想了想，給他說：“You know what, when I was little kid like your age, I was always picked by other kids, too. However, I used my brain to win--not physically by using my fists. I worked hard and studied hard. So I am the only one from my class in elemetary school who went to a top college in China. You visited my hometown 2 years ago, you still remember it's a poor countryside, right? Most of them are still in the countryside. So you can win, too, by your brain. You can go to a better college in the future.”
然後我們就不著邊際的談了一會兒，從哪個college是第一，到哪些地方好玩。兒子還記得MIT, Harvard, Amherst呢。上次陪姐姐的campus visit還是給他留了點記憶嘛。
孩子真是一天一個樣。要在忙碌的日常生活中還能照顧到這些學校的孩子們爭吵打架的小事，真是不容易。今天上學前，還提醒他：“Win by using your brain. Get it?”
兒子點了點頭。
（４／２０／２００７）
兒子頭也沒抬地回答：“Yes.”
到了吃飯的時候，媽媽叫兒子吃飯，兒子就是不來，還不耐煩地說“ I know.”
看他那沒精打采的樣子，老爸就隨口問了句：“有人在學校欺負你了嗎？”
兒子才抬起頭說：“Yes, Arnold smashed my finger on my desk.”
“Did you call your teacher?”
“Yes, I did. She did not response.”
老師對兒子一向還不錯，怎麽會呢？可能不是大事吧。就問兒子：“What happended?”
“It's my desk. Arnold said it was not. So he smashed my finger.”
看看他的手指，沒什麽事。就問：“Did you fight back?”
“It is not allowed in school to fight back bully kids. ”
“Then, what should you do?”
“1st, ignore; then if she/he keep bothering you, walk away; finally, if she/he does not stop, report to grown-ups.”
看來口訣還背得不錯呢。老爸想了想，給他說：“You know what, when I was little kid like your age, I was always picked by other kids, too. However, I used my brain to win--not physically by using my fists. I worked hard and studied hard. So I am the only one from my class in elemetary school who went to a top college in China. You visited my hometown 2 years ago, you still remember it's a poor countryside, right? Most of them are still in the countryside. So you can win, too, by your brain. You can go to a better college in the future.”
然後我們就不著邊際的談了一會兒，從哪個college是第一，到哪些地方好玩。兒子還記得MIT, Harvard, Amherst呢。上次陪姐姐的campus visit還是給他留了點記憶嘛。
孩子真是一天一個樣。要在忙碌的日常生活中還能照顧到這些學校的孩子們爭吵打架的小事，真是不容易。今天上學前，還提醒他：“Win by using your brain. Get it?”
兒子點了點頭。
（４／２０／２００７）
這確實是一個大難題。鼓勵孩子用拳頭解決，是暴力行為，以後會欺負小的孩子，加上判斷力有限，不好。在學校老受欺負，也是孩子心理上的負擔，長期下來，可不是好事。
目前這種受欺負的情況還不多。但大人的注意觀察，早點發覺孩子的不正常表現，和學校一起防止這種情況發生。中國孩子過頭都偏小，這往往導致孩子的自信心不夠。俺現在是讓兒子學點少林功夫，增加點自信心。
兒子在這方麵事情多多了。女孩子很少麵臨這樣的情況。
It's always a challenge for parents to teach kids how to deal with bullying at school. Talking with him seems an effective way to turn him around from the anger.