樹老根多:老別不老客
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正文
昨天晚上我貼了給大家提個醒：一切賬單都得好好看。提防 OAN Services 這類公司, 結果短路這家夥悄悄地演變成了ONS,我鑽進去了還不知道。今天早上才發現老頭我上了年輕人當了！叉！
言歸正傳。我的電話賬單無緣無故多了12.95的charge, 今天早上沒好氣，上班第一件事就是撥打OAN Services 的電話，準備掐架。
下麵是電話的主要內容，有好廢話略掉了。接電話的是個女的，聽起來不像美國native:
她： Customer Service. How can I help you?
我： Hi. I have an item in my phone bill from your company for services that I don’t know anything about.
她： OK, let me take a look.... Are you referring to the charge by USA VOICEMAIL?
我： Yes, that's the one.
她： Sir, I can transfer you to USA VOICEMAIL.
這家夥準備玩踢足球。在給她打電話之前，我已經給USA VOICEMAIL打過電話，他們還沒上班。
我： No, YOU ARE NOT TRANSFERRING ME. You need to help me take care of this business.
她： Sir, OAN is a billing company. We bill you on behalf of USA VOICEMAIL. Since they are the service provider, they charge you, and we only do the billing.
我： So you are billing me, right?
她： Yes, we are not charging you, we are only billing you on their behalf. Therefore I cannot do anything other than transferring you to them.
我： NO, you are not transferring me. You caused or helped cause this to happen, and you have work to do.
她： But we cannot do anything because it's the USA VOICEMAIL that charged you, not us.
我： Oh yes, you can do everything for me to stop this craziness. You are billing me, right?
她： Right, but we are not charging me.
這女人跟我玩雲手，俺沒耐心，就直截了當好了
我： I understand your spin: you are billing me, but not charging me, therefore you can't do anything for me.
她： That's exactly right.
我： No, that's not exactly right. Let me help you understand our relationships.
她： What do you mean?
我： I have never dealt with USA VOICEMAIL who's charging me, right?
她： Uhhhhh, how do you mean?
我： Is it my English or is it what I am saying that you don't understand?
她： It's what you are saying.
我： Thank you for being kind on my English. Now listen carefully to what I am going to say. You and I are in a direct relationship, meaning I look at my bill, and I see your name. Is that the fact?
她： Yes, it's the fact, but ...
我： Please don't but me. Just let me finish.
她： OK, I am sorry
我： So you and I are directly related, of course in business terms, and now there's something wrong in this relationship. Shouldn't I work it out with you?
她： Uhhhh, but…
我： Now, now, remember, don't but me until I am done.
她： OK.
我： So there's something wrong in our relationship, and the party that causes this relationship to happen in the first place is you! I didn't know you, and I didn't check you out, but you secretly got into a relationship with me, right?
她： We are just a billing company...
我： I know you are a billing company, and I know you want to say you didn't charge me, but you helped a scam company charge me by billing me. Have I authorized your service?
她： Uhhh, not really.
我： Now we are talking. So I didn't authorize you, and you sneaked into the AT&T system and started a relationship with me, and I want this relationship stopped.
她： But, sir, I'll need to transfer you.
我： NO, you are NOT transferring me. You and I are going to clear up this mess in our relationship. Am I understood?
她： But...
我： No more but's, lady. I am the victim of a scam, so someone did something illegal to me. I am going to call the Better Business Bureau if you and I don't work out. You know what I am saying?
她： OK, sir, let me check. Could you hold on a second while I enter the information into the system?
我： Can I ask what information you are entering?
她： That you refused to be transferred
我： I don't see the point of being transferred. I need you to clean up the mess.
她： I understand. I am documenting that you want the service cancelled
我： AND the 12.95 dollars you guys charged me last month returned to me.
她： I am entering that into the system.
我： Very good. I appreciate that.
她： Anything else that I can do for you?
我： Do you have a case number for this issue?
她： No, but my name is Christian, and my operator ID is 80767.
言歸正傳。我的電話賬單無緣無故多了12.95的charge, 今天早上沒好氣，上班第一件事就是撥打OAN Services 的電話，準備掐架。
下麵是電話的主要內容，有好廢話略掉了。接電話的是個女的，聽起來不像美國native:
她： Customer Service. How can I help you?
我： Hi. I have an item in my phone bill from your company for services that I don’t know anything about.
她： OK, let me take a look.... Are you referring to the charge by USA VOICEMAIL?
我： Yes, that's the one.
她： Sir, I can transfer you to USA VOICEMAIL.
這家夥準備玩踢足球。在給她打電話之前，我已經給USA VOICEMAIL打過電話，他們還沒上班。
我： No, YOU ARE NOT TRANSFERRING ME. You need to help me take care of this business.
她： Sir, OAN is a billing company. We bill you on behalf of USA VOICEMAIL. Since they are the service provider, they charge you, and we only do the billing.
我： So you are billing me, right?
她： Yes, we are not charging you, we are only billing you on their behalf. Therefore I cannot do anything other than transferring you to them.
我： NO, you are not transferring me. You caused or helped cause this to happen, and you have work to do.
她： But we cannot do anything because it's the USA VOICEMAIL that charged you, not us.
我： Oh yes, you can do everything for me to stop this craziness. You are billing me, right?
她： Right, but we are not charging me.
這女人跟我玩雲手，俺沒耐心，就直截了當好了
我： I understand your spin: you are billing me, but not charging me, therefore you can't do anything for me.
她： That's exactly right.
我： No, that's not exactly right. Let me help you understand our relationships.
她： What do you mean?
我： I have never dealt with USA VOICEMAIL who's charging me, right?
她： Uhhhhh, how do you mean?
我： Is it my English or is it what I am saying that you don't understand?
她： It's what you are saying.
我： Thank you for being kind on my English. Now listen carefully to what I am going to say. You and I are in a direct relationship, meaning I look at my bill, and I see your name. Is that the fact?
她： Yes, it's the fact, but ...
我： Please don't but me. Just let me finish.
她： OK, I am sorry
我： So you and I are directly related, of course in business terms, and now there's something wrong in this relationship. Shouldn't I work it out with you?
她： Uhhhh, but…
我： Now, now, remember, don't but me until I am done.
她： OK.
我： So there's something wrong in our relationship, and the party that causes this relationship to happen in the first place is you! I didn't know you, and I didn't check you out, but you secretly got into a relationship with me, right?
她： We are just a billing company...
我： I know you are a billing company, and I know you want to say you didn't charge me, but you helped a scam company charge me by billing me. Have I authorized your service?
她： Uhhh, not really.
我： Now we are talking. So I didn't authorize you, and you sneaked into the AT&T system and started a relationship with me, and I want this relationship stopped.
她： But, sir, I'll need to transfer you.
我： NO, you are NOT transferring me. You and I are going to clear up this mess in our relationship. Am I understood?
她： But...
我： No more but's, lady. I am the victim of a scam, so someone did something illegal to me. I am going to call the Better Business Bureau if you and I don't work out. You know what I am saying?
她： OK, sir, let me check. Could you hold on a second while I enter the information into the system?
我： Can I ask what information you are entering?
她： That you refused to be transferred
我： I don't see the point of being transferred. I need you to clean up the mess.
她： I understand. I am documenting that you want the service cancelled
我： AND the 12.95 dollars you guys charged me last month returned to me.
她： I am entering that into the system.
我： Very good. I appreciate that.
她： Anything else that I can do for you?
我： Do you have a case number for this issue?
她： No, but my name is Christian, and my operator ID is 80767.
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