小天使 (737)- 老調重談的兒子自我保護能力
(2007-03-12 19:18:44)
下一個
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by smbh
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2007年3月9日 星期五 晴
唉!兒子今天又受傷了。被一個比他小許多歲的孩子傷的。很心疼。
今天那小孩子就拉著我兒子衣服後麵的帽子,硬把我兒子往後拉倒在地,並拖了一段距離,衣領口勒得我兒子脖子上出了半圈很深的紅印。兒子嗓子也被勒得疼得說不出話,被解救出來,很長時間都一個勁地邊哭邊咳嗽。事後那孩子的奶奶說,因為那小孩子在家中是老二,上有哥哥,下有弟弟,所以打架特厲害。
欺負我兒子的原因很簡單,就為搶我兒子手上一玩具。那玩具是我兒子在地上撿到玩的。別的孩子(並不是傷我兒子那小孩子前麵玩的)玩好不要扔在地上了。
兒子,唉!說得好聽脾氣好,說得不好聽,就是很弱,不會欺負別人不算,連自我保護的能力都挺差。每次都是被別的比他小的孩子欺負。被打哭也就算了,最心疼的就是臉上常被別的孩子抓破。
我從來不護著他,雖然心疼,希望他能自己解決這些問題。因為我不可能一直在他身邊。所以我隻能常常教育他自我保護。 我對他說,別人打他要還手。要對別人說“不”!還帶他去學跆拳道,鍛煉身體...不過這方麵能力他依然很弱。
也許真是我的遺傳不好,想想自已從小到大,被欺負也從來就是忍著,沒有一點點還擊的能力。害得兒子也這樣常被欺負。唉!以致於兒子怎麽教也教不會如何“凶”一點。
本就不指望兒子去欺負別人,隻求他自己不受傷害。可是這麽多年了,也沒啥進步。每次許多孩子一起玩,有人哭有人被別的孩子打傷弄傷總是我兒子。
兒子在學校在朋友們中的人緣是好的。也是我們朋友們中公認的脾氣性格非常好的孩子,所有父母都喜歡讓他們的孩子們和我兒子玩。放心,因為兒子從不欺負別的孩子。但是也是所有朋友們公認的,最不能自我保護的孩子。每次兒子受欺負哭了,受傷了,朋友們就說:“要提高你兒子的自我保護能力。”唉!但是如何提高呢?
First and far most, teach him to say No. Be very specific with what to say and when to say it. Practice it at home with your son. Ask him to say the words loud. Practice with him with you pretending to be the offender. The way to say no is to say it very loudly and decisively, and in a similar to this. "No! I feel ** when you do *** to me. I don't like that. Please stop ***! You can fill in whatever applies to the blanks.
Kids look to you for directions. If wrongful action was taken like in this case of your son being hurt, you do need to stand up for your son, and ask the other kid to apologize and say they would not do this again. If the kid's parents are around, you need to tell the parent first of what happened. If the parent is not taking the right action to ask the kid to apologize, you need to suggest and insist it. The other parent's hitting the kid, however, is not what you want. It's more important for him to admit his fault to your son and say it will not happen again. I hope you don't take this statement offensively. I personally believe You not standing up for your son may send a signal to him that this happens and there is nothing can be done about it.
Hitting back, however, is not the right thing to do. Your son's being a nice boy is his strength. You don't want to trade that in. Teach him to say No. If that does not work, find the nearest grown up, be it teachers or parents, for justice. If he can't find some one right away, avoid the conflict by leaving the place.