Good~ The first stanza ABAB,

來源: 小貝殼weed 2018-01-30 05:16:27 [] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀: 次 (1542 bytes)
我愛的主宰,我對你完全庸附,
你的美德緊緊把我的契約編成,
隻為見證責任,不為秀我才賦,
我給你呈上這封我對你的忠誠:


Lord of my love, to whom in vassalage 
Thy merit hath my duty strongly knit, 
To thee I send this written embassage, 
To witness duty, not to show my wit: 


上平六魚
魚漁初書舒居裾琚車[麻韻同]渠蕖餘予[我也]譽[動詞]輿胥狙鋤疏蔬梳虛噓墟徐豬閭廬驢諸儲除滁蜍如佘淤妤苴菹沮徂齬茹櫚於祛蘧疽蛆醵紓樗躇[藥韻同]歟據[拮據]

My love, I am your absolute servant; your worth compels me to serve you loyally. I’m sending you this message to show my devotion to you, not to show that I can write well. My skills are so poor that I may make my obligation to you, which is great, seem meager. I don’t have the words to express it properly. But I hope that in your heart you’ll form an idea of what I mean and the idea will enrich your sense of what I owe you. When the star that guides me shines on me favorably, giving me the inspiration to dress up my tattered love for you in clever words that prove I’m worthy of your sweet respect—that’s when I’ll dare to boast about how much I love you. Until then, I won’t show my face anywhere that you can put me to the test.

所有跟帖: 

ABAB 韻挺好的。 ABABCDCDEFEFGG~~~~ 中文也如此押韻,可以試,但讀起來總覺得有些怪。 -Yimusanfendi- 給 Yimusanfendi 發送悄悄話 Yimusanfendi 的博客首頁 (105 bytes) () 01/30/2018 postreply 15:49:44

我第一次讀中文的十四行詩是白馬寫的。問問白馬,馮至,這樣寫是否別扭~~~~:) -小貝殼weed- 給 小貝殼weed 發送悄悄話 小貝殼weed 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/30/2018 postreply 18:51:30

我也別扭一下~~~遵ABABCDCDEFEFGG韻 -Yimusanfendi- 給 Yimusanfendi 發送悄悄話 Yimusanfendi 的博客首頁 (1705 bytes) () 01/31/2018 postreply 21:51:00

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