Let go of my Ego

The Ego here refers to self-importance, self-esteem.

You may think that Ego is a positive word, and it is good for us to have a high Ego. With it, we tend to be aspiring and working hard to achieve a highly-set life goal. So why let it go?

I fully understand this way of thinking because I used to be a person with high Ego (I am afraid that I am still inclined to be self-conscious on some part of life. I guess to correct this takes time.). Being a person with high education and a model student as far as imperial examinations were concerned, I developed a high ego, and I could not accept most of the criticisms and any disparagement.

Due to high ego, I felt hurt when other people said or did anything bad to me, and in consequence, the negative feelings, such as depress, resentment, complaint, anger, etc., would be my natural responses. With a high Ego, I never experienced true happiness in life.

I realized for quite some time that my high Ego could took control of my feeling, affected the interpersonal relationships, and led me to irrational decisions. But I never determined to acknowledge it and eliminate it. Sometimes I was even proud of it since it showed off my strength and toughness.

However, recently life taught me a heavy lesson. This lesson shocked me, and thoroughly changed my thinking. When I calmed down, I analyzed how it happened, and realized that the prime culprit was my high Ego. I was forced to face it seriously and resolved to dismiss it.
To remove the hardened high ego, it is essential to recognize how it works. Nadia did an awesome analysis on this, and she said: any thought not rooted in love and compassion is coming from ego. Ego may control us in various forms, sometimes emotional, and sometimes even logical. But the underlying emotion is the key in deciphering an ego thought. The ego will never ever come from a place of love and positivity. The idea from her may surprise you since it seems going to the extremes. But it is so true. I can tell from my experience. If you tend to argue or question on this idea, it looks as if your ego is working in a logical way. :)

PS: I felt so embarrassed this afternoon while I wrote this article because I was tested by my high ego and I failed. At work, I guessed or sensed someone nagged me behind my back, and then I felt my heart beat faster which was caused by anger. Thereafter, I sent out an email on the issue involved. From an objective point of view, this email was good, clear, and informative. But I knew there was a slight resentment behind my action motive. Ok. I have to admit that it is not easy to discard the obstinate high ego. And now, at the moment, after introspection, I realize that I was just taken control by the ego. As soon as I know this, I feel the peaceful mind back and the ego disappeared. However, it seems that I realize the ego with a time delay. I hope with time going on, I can identify the ego on the spot and let it disappeared right away.

所有跟帖： 

• 分享音樂: 沉思 -婉蕠- ♀ (1138 bytes) () 02/26/2010 postreply 10:13:47

• 謝謝櫻桃丸子撰寫的引人深思的好文.周末快樂. -婉蕠- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/26/2010 postreply 11:26:06

• 多謝婉蕠鼓勵.周末快樂. -櫻桃丸子- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/26/2010 postreply 11:55:44

• good essay. -善和- ♀ (97 bytes) () 02/26/2010 postreply 13:08:48