If your purpose of learning English is not 融入社會, then you are probably at a lower level. However with years growing, you might want to have some friends at work and that in return helps maintain your employment status especially in the days of high unemployment rate. I have found that being positive is important in daily communications.
我在中國的經驗是，朋友見麵多半發點兒牢騷，可是在這邊兒，人們通常不把自己的不如意帶給別人，Therefor, being positive will be easy to keep the talks going with English speakers. And the more you talk, the more personalities you demonstrate, and the easier you impress people that you are a easy-to-go person.
Being positive may come from two trails. One is optimistic, the other belongs to communication skills.
Most likely, optimistic is how you think. 例如，你遇到了挫折，你想人生總會遇到點兒挫折的 -- 這是樂觀。如果你是一個樂觀的人，那你總會把你的樂觀態度帶給別人，進而，你也就 positive 了。
我兒子抱怨今年暑假沒過好，沒好好玩兒。我說：“但是你 make 了一個 big achievement。你考上了 IB program and 你進了 rep team. That's a huge achievement.” 他說：“是，不是每個人都能同時進 IB 和 rep team 的。”
然而，有些時候是不容樂觀的，那怎麽辦呢？
清朝期間，湘軍大統領曾國藩討伐天平天國，初戰階段失利，陷入絕望，在寫給皇帝的奏折中提到「屢戰屢敗」。當時的軍師覺得不妥，改為「屢敗屢戰」。朝廷在看到奏章後，認為其勇氣可嘉，沒有處罰反而委以重任。
一個用詞的次序，可以給人完全不同的感受。
前幾天，我到美國中部的一個州出差，問到那裏的房價，manager 先說房價 relatively stable (沒有暴漲也沒有暴跌 - 沒有投資價值)，接著一句話很 positive：“People here are responsible owners.”
一次， manager 問我 project 拖期的事，拖期的原因是用戶不斷地增加新內容，但如果你直白了，就是抱怨用戶了，那還談得上為用戶服務嗎？我就厚了一把臉皮: manager，“In all my training courses, the life cycle of a production development is always plan - implementation- evaluation - support, and then start over again. So it's a loop. Like in design phase, they get an idea and I make it happen. And then they get inspired, and they get further ideas. If we want them to give us a complete specification at the very beginning, I doubt if they can do it. Actually, we are helping them finalize their ideas. They won't complain. The tradeoff of the delay is, in the end we provide them better service. We server them better; we make the business better, and the business makes our customers feel better to use our applications.”沒想到經理無限同意。
怎樣才能 positive 呢？Always use positive words. It is important to always choose our words wisely, and especially vital when we are doing affirmations.
有人說：這幾天成天下雨。就有人說：草都綠了。
有人說：今天可真長啊。就有人說：可是這個星期就短了。
但是，做為中國人，我們不是用英語思維的，那怎麽辦呢？有人總結了一些 positive 的英語單詞，如果能背下來，並記住意思，那麽在日常對話中就會不自覺地用了。
Abiding Able Abstinence Acceptance Accomplished Accountable Achieving Acknowledging Acquiescent Active Adoring Advanced Affectionate Affirming Aglow Agreeable Alert Alive Altruistic Ambitious Amenable Amusing Angelic Appealing Appreciative Approachable Approving Aspiring Assertive Assisting Assured Attentive Attractive Awake Aware Balanced Beautiful Believing Benevolent Bestowing Blameless Blessed Bold Boundaries Bountiful Bravery Calm Capable Careful Caring Caution Certain Charitable Charming Chaste Cheerful Clean Clear Comforting Commendable Committed Compassionate Composed Concerned Confident Confirming Conscientious Considerate Consoling Contemplative Content Contributing Controlled Co-operative Correct Courageous Courteous Creative Cultured Curiosity Daring Decent Dedicated Deliberate Delicate Decisive Delightful Detached Determination Devotion Devout Dignified Diligent Discerning Disciplined Discretion Discriminating Distinctive Distinguished Dutiful Dynamic Eager Earnest Educated Effective Efficient Eloquent Empathy Empowering Encouraging Energetic Enkindled Enlightened Enriched Enterprising Enthusiastic Equitable Excelling Exciting Fair Faithful Fearless Fidelity Firm Flexible Focused Forbearing Forceful Foresighted Forgiving Fortitude Free Fresh Friendly Fruitful Fulfilled Generous Gentle Gifted Giving Glad Glorious Goal-oriented Graceful Gracious Grateful Growing Happy Hardy Harmless Harmonious Healing Helpful Honest Honorable Hopeful Hospitable Humane Humble Humor Idealistic Illuminated Illustrious Imaginative Impartial Important Improving Independent Individual Industrious Innocent Integrity Intelligent Interdependent Interested Intimate Intuitive Involved Joyful Just Kind Knowing Knowledgeable Learned Lenient Lively Lofty Logical Loving Lowly Loyal Lucid Magnanimous Majestic Masterful Matchless Mature Meaningful Meek Merciful Mighty Ministering Model Moderate Modest Moral Motivated Mover Mystical Noble Notable Nourishing Nurturing Obedient Objective Observant Open Optimistic Orderly Organized Original Passionate Patient Peaceful Penitent Perceptive Persevering Persistent Pious Pleasing Polite Positive Potent Powerful Practical Prayerful Prepared Productive Progressive Proper Protective Proud Provider Prudent Pure Purposeful Qualified Quiet Questioning Radiant Rational Reasonable Receptive Refined Reflective Relaxed Reliable Religious Renown Repentant Resigned Respectful Responsible Responsive Restrained Revealing Reverent Righteous Sacrificial Sanctified Satisfied Searching Seeker Seemly Sensitive Service-oriented Simplicity Sincere Sobriety Spiritual Spontaneous Steadfast Strength Striving Submissive Successful Supportive Sympathetic Tactful Temperate Tenacious Tender Thankful Thoughtful Thriving Tolerant Toughness Tranquil Trusting Trustworthy Truthful Unconcerned Understanding Unfailing Unrestrained Unselfish Uplifting Valiant Victorious Vigilant Virtuous Visionary Vital Volitional Warm Well Wholesome Wisdom Wonderful
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