Michael Jackson 自傳 Moonwalk （5/9）

居然已經貼到過半了。 Michael Jackson 在這一集中終於開始創立自己的事業了。文中穿插到他和Paul McCartney的關係。他和Brook Shields (波姬曉絲)，Diana Ross的戀情。他和Quincy Jones 合作完成Off the Wall Album.同學們加油堅持看完啊。

特別感謝娃娃女的熱忱和紫君的慧智.

Michael Jackson 自傳 Moonwalk （1/9）


Michael Jackson 自傳 Moonwalk （2/9）


Michael Jackson 自傳 Moonwalk （3/9）


Michael Jackson 自傳 Moonwalk （4/9）

When that meeting took place at CBS headquarters in New York, I was onlynineteen years old. I was carrying a heavy burden for nineteen. My familywas relying on me more and more as far as business and creative decisionswere concerned, and I was so worried about trying to do the right thing forthem; but I also had an opportunity to do something I'd wanted to do all mylife - act in a film. Ironically the old Motown connection was paying a latedividend.Motown had bought the rights to film the Broadway show known as The Wiz evenas we were leaving the company. The Wiz was an updated, black-orientatedversion of the great movie The Wizard of Oz , which I had always loved. Iremember that when I was a kid The Wizard of Oz was shown on television oncea year and always on a Sunday night. Kids today can't imagine what a bigevent that was for all of us because they've grown up with videocassettesand the expanded viewing that cable provides.I had seen the Broadway show too, which was certainly no letdown. I swear Isaw it six or seven times. I later became very friendly with the star of theshow, Stephanie Mills, the Broadway Dorothy. I told her then, and I'vealways believed since, that it was a tragedy that her performance in theplay could not have been preserved on film. I cried time after time. As muchas I like the Broadway stage, I don't think I'd want to play on it myself.When you give a performance, whether on record or on film, you want to beable to judge what you've done, to measure yourself and try to improve. Youcan't do that in an untaped or unrecorded performance. It makes me sad tothink of all the great actors who have played roles we would give anythingto see, but they're lost to us because they couldn't be, or simply weren't,recorded.If I had been tempted to go onstage, it would probably have been to workwith Stephanie, although her performances were so moving that I might havecried right there in front of the audience. Motown bought The Wiz for onereason, and as far as I was concerned, it was the best reason possible:Diana Ross.Diana was close to Berry Gordy and had her loyalties to him and to Motown,but she did not forget us just because our records now had a different label on them. We had been in touch throughout the changes, and she had even metup with us in Las Vegas, where she gave us tips during our run there. Dianawas going to play Dorothy, and since it was the only part that wasdefinitely cast, she encouraged me to audition. She also assured me thatMotown would not keep me from getting a part just to spite me or my family.She would make sure of that if she had to, but she didn't think she'd haveto.She didn't. It was Berry Gordy who said he hoped I'd audition for The Wiz .I was very fortunate he felt that way, because I was bitten by the actingbug during that experience. I said to myself, this is what I'm interested indoing when I have a chance - this is it. When you make a film, you'recapturing something elusive and you're stopping time. The people, theirperformances, the story become a thing that can be shared by people all overthe world for generations and generations. Imagine never having seenCaptains Courageous or To Kill a Mockingbird ! Making movies is excitingwork. It's such a team effort and it's also a lot of fun. Someday soon Iplan to devote a lot of my time to making films.I auditioned for the part of the Scarecrow because I thought his characterbest fit my style. I was too bouncy for the Tin Man and too light for theLion, so I had a definite goal, and I tried to put a lot of thought into myreading and dancing for the part. When I got the call back from thedirector, Sidney Lumet, I felt so proud but also a little scared. Theprocess of making a film was new to me, and I was going to have to let go ofmy responsibilities to my family and my music for months. I had visited NewYork, where we were shooting, to get the feel for Harlem that The Wiz 166;sstory called for, but I had never lived there. I was surprised by howquickly I got used to the lifestyle. I enjoyed meeting a whole group ofpeople I'd always heard about on the other coast but had never laid eyes on.Making The Wiz was an education for me on so many levels. As a recordingartist I already felt like an old pro, but the film world was completely newto me. I watched as closely as I could and learned a lot.During this period in my life, I was searching, both consciously andunconsciously. I was feeling some stress and anxiety about what I wanted todo with my life now that I was an adult. I was analysing my options andpreparing to make decisions that could have a lot of repercussions. Being onthe set of The Wiz was like being in a big school. My complexion was still a mess during the filming of the movie, so I found myself really enjoying themakeup. It was an amazing makeup job. Mine took five hours to do, six days aweek; we didn't shoot on Sundays. We finally got it down to four hours flatafter doing it long enough. The other people who were being made up wereamazed that I didn't mind sitting there having this done for such longperiods of time. They hated it, but I enjoyed having the stuff put on myface. When I was transformed into the Scarecrow, it was the most wonderfulthing in the world. I got to be somebody else and escape through mycharacter. Kids would come visit the set, and I'd have such fun playing withthem and responding to them as the Scarecrow.I'd always pictured myself doing something very elegant in the movies, butit was my experience with the makeup and costume and prop people in New Yorkthat made me realise another aspect of how wonderful film-making could be. Ihad always loved the Charlie Chaplin movies, and no one ever saw him doinganything overtly elegant in the silent movie days. I wanted something of thequality of his characters in my Scarecrow. I loved everything about thecostume, from the coil legs to the tomato nose to the fright wig. I evenkept the orange and white sweater that came with it and used it in a picturesession years later.The film had marvellous, very complicated dance numbers, and learning themwas no problem. But that in itself became an unexpected problem with mycostars.Ever since I was a very little boy, I've been able to watch somebody do adance step and then immediately know how to do it. Another person might haveto be taken through the movement step by step and told to count and put thisleg here and the hip to the right. When your hip goes to the left, put yourneck over there . . . that sort of thing. But if I see it, I can do it.When we were doing The Wiz , I was being instructed in the choreographyalong with my characters - the Tin Man, the Lion, and Diana Ross - and theywere getting mad at me. I couldn't figure out what was wrong until Dianatook me aside and told me that I was embarrassing her. I just stared at her.Embarrassing Diana Ross? Me? She said she knew I wasn't aware of it, but Iwas learning the dances much too quickly. It was embarrassing for her andthe others, who just couldn't learn steps as soon as they saw thechoreographer do them. She said he'd show us something and I'd just go outthere and do it. When he asked the others to do it, it took them longer to learn. We laughed about it, but I tried to make the ease with which Ilearned my steps less obvious.I also learned that there could be a slightly vicious side to the businessof making a movie. Often when I was in front of the camera, trying to do aserious scene, one of the other characters would start making faces at me,trying to crack me up. I had always been drilled in serious professionalismand preparedness and therefore I thought it was a pretty mean thing to do.This actor would know that I had important lines to say that day, yet hewould make these really crazy faces to distract me. I felt it was more thaninconsiderate and unfair.Much later Marlon Brando would tell me that people used to do that to himall the time.The problems on the set were really few and far between and it was greatworking with Diana so closely. She's such a beautiful, talented woman. Doingthis movie together was very special for me. I love her very much. I havealways loved her very much.The whole Wiz period was a time of stress and anxiety, even though I wasenjoying myself. I remember July 4 of that year very well, because I was onthe beach at my brother Jermaine's house, about half a block away along thewaterfront. I was messing around in the surf, and all of a sudden I couldn'tbreathe. No air. Nothing. I asked myself what's wrong? I tried not to panic,but I ran back to the house to find Jermaine, who took me to the hospital.It was wild. A blood vessel had burst in my lung. It has never reoccurred,although I used to feel little pinches and jerks in there that were probablymy imagination. I later learned that this condition was related to pleurisy.It was suggested by my doctor that I try to take things a little slower, butmy schedule would not permit it. Hard work continued to be the name of thegame.As much as I liked the old Wizard of Oz , this new script, which differedfrom the Broadway production in scope rather than spirit, asked morequestions than the original movie and answered them too. The atmosphere ofthe old movie was that of a magic kingdom sort of fairy tale. Our movie, onthe other hand, had sets based on realities that kids could identify with,like schoolyards, subway stations, and the real neighbourhood that ourDorothy came from. I still enjoy seeing The Wiz and reliving the experience I am especially fond of the scene where Diana asks, "What am I afraid of?Don't know what I'm made of . . ." because I've felt that way many times,even during the good moments of my life. She sings about overcoming fear andwalking straight and tall. She knows and the audience knows that no threatof danger can hold her back.My character had plenty to say and to learn. I was propped up on my polewith a bunch of crows laughing at me, while I sang "You Can't Win." The songwas about humiliation and helplessness - something that so many people havefelt at one time or another - and the feeling that there are people outthere who don't actively hold you back as much as they work quietly on yourinsecurities so that you hold yourself back. The script was clever andshowed me pulling bits of information and quotations out of my straw whilenot really knowing how to use them. My straw contained all the answers, butI didn't know the questions.The great difference between the two Wizard movies was that all the answersare given to Dorothy by the Good Witch and by her friends in Oz in theoriginal, while in our version Dorothy comes to her own conclusions. Herloyalty to her three friends and her courage in fighting Elvina in thatamazing sweatshop scene make Dorothy a memorable character. Diana's singingand dancing and acting have stayed with me ever since. She was a perfectDorothy. After the evil witch had been defeated, the sheer joy of ourdancing took over. To dance with Diana in that movie was like an abridgedversion of my own story - my knock-kneed walk and "bigfoot" spin were me inmy early days; our tabletop dance in the sweatshop scene was where we wereright then. Everything was onward and upward. When I told my brothers andfather I had gotten this part, they thought it might be too much for me, butthe opposite was true. The Wiz gave me new inspiration and strength. Thequestion became what to do with those things. How could I best harness them?As I was asking myself what I wanted to do next, another man and I weretravelling parallel paths that would converge on the set of The Wiz . Wewere in Brooklyn rehearsing one day, and we were reading our parts out loudto one another. I had thought that learning lines would be the mostdifficult thing I'd ever do, but I was pleasantly surprised. Everyone hadbeen kind, assuring me that it was easier that I thought. And it was.We were doing the crows' scene that day. The other guys wouldn't even havetheir heads visible in this scene because they'd be in crow costumes. They seemed to know their parts backward and forward. I'd studied mine too, but Ihadn't said them aloud more than once or twice.The directions called for me to pull a piece of paper from my straw and readit. It was a quote. The author's name, Socrates, was printed at the end. Ihad read Socrates, but I had never pronounced his name, so I said,"Soh-crates," because that's the way I had always assumed it was pronounced.There was a moment's silence before I heard someone whisper,"Soh-ruh-teeze." I looked over at this man I vaguely recognised. He was notone of the actors, but he seemed to belong there. I remember thinking helooked very self-confident and had a friendly face.I smiled, a little embarrassed at having mispronounced the name, and thankedhim for his help. His face was naggingly familiar, and I was suddenly surethat I had met him before. He confirmed my suspicions by extending his hand."Quincy Jones. I'm doing the score."Chapter Four - Me And Q----------------------------------------------------------------------------I had actually first met Quincy Jones in Los Angeles when I was about twelveyears old. Quincy later told me that at the time Sammy Davis, Jr., had saidto him, "This kid is gonna be the next biggest thing since sliced bread."Something like that, anyway, and Quincy said, "Oh yeah?" I was little at thetime, but I vaguely remembered Sammy Davis introducing me to Q.Our friendship really began to blossom on the set of The Wiz , and itdeveloped into a father-and-son relationship. After The Wiz I called him andsaid, "Look, I'm going to do an album - do you think you could recommendsome producers?"I wasn't hinting. My question was a naive but honest one. We talked aboutmusic for a while, and, after coming up with some names and somehalf-hearted hemming and hawing, he said, "Why don't you let me do it?"I really hadn't thought of it. It sounded to him as if I was hinting, but Iwasn't. I just didn't think he would be that interested in my music. So Istammered something like, "Oh sure, great idea. I never thought about that." Quincy still kids me about it.Anyway, we immediately began to plan the album that became Off the Wall .My brothers and I decided to form our own production company, and we beganthinking about names to call it.You don't find many articles about peacocks in the newspaper, but aroundthis time I found the only one that mattered. I had always thought peacockswere beautiful and had admired one that Berry Gordy had at one of his homes.So when I read the article, which had an accompanying picture of a peacock,and revealed a great deal about the bird's characteristics, I was excited. Ithought I might have found the image we were looking for. It was an in-depthpiece, a little dry in places, but interesting. The writer said that thepeacock's full plumage would explode only when it was in love, and then allthe colours would shine - all the colours of the rainbow on one body.I was immediately taken with that beautiful image and the meaning behind it.That bird's plumage conveyed the message I was looking for to explain theJacksons and our intense devotion to one another, as well as ourmultifaceted interests. My brothers liked the idea, so we called our newcompany Peacock Productions, to sidestep the trap of relying too heavily onthe Jackson name. Our first world tour had focused our interest in unitingpeople of all races through music. Some people we knew wondered what wemeant when we talked about uniting all the races through music -after all,we were black musicians. Our answer was "music is colour-blind." We saw thatevery night, especially in Europe and the other parts of the world we hadvisited. The people we met there loved our music. It didn't matter to themwhat colour our skin was or which country we called home.We wanted to form our own production company because we wanted to grow andestablish ourselves as a new presence in the music world, not just assingers and dancers, but as writers, composers, arrangers, producers, andeven publishers. We were interested in so many things, and we needed anumbrella company to keep track of our projects. CBS had agreed to let usproduce our own album - the last two albums had sold well, but "DifferentKind of Lady" showed a potential that they agreed was worth letting usdevelop. They did have one condition for us: they assigned an A&R man, BobbyColomby, who used to be with Blood, Sweat, and Tears, to check in with usfrom time to time to see how we were doing and to see if we needed any help.We knew that the five of us needed some outside musicians to get the bestpossible sound, and we were weak in two areas: the keyboard and arrangingsides of things. We had been faithfully adding all the new technology to ourEncino studio without really having a mastery of it. Greg Phillinganes wasyoung for a studio pro, but that was a plus as far as we were concernedbecause we wanted someone who would be more open to newer ways of doingthings than the seasoned veterans we had encountered over the years.He came to Encino to do preproduction work, and we all took turns surprisingeach other. Our mutual preconceptions just dissolved. It was a great thingto watch. As we sketched out our new songs for him, we told him that weliked the vocal tracks that Philly International always put a premium on,but when the mix came out, we always seemed to be fighting someone else'swall of sound, all those strings and cymbals. We wanted to sound cleaner andmore funky, with a flintier bass and sharper horn parts. With his beautifulrhythm arrangements, Greg put into musical form what we were sketching forhim and then some. We felt he was reading our minds.A Bobby Colomby recruit who came to work with us then was Paulinho de Costa,whom we worried about because it seemed to us that Randy was being told hecouldn't handle all the percussion by himself. But Paulinho brought with himthe Brazilian samba tradition of adapting and improvising on primitive andoften homemade instruments. When de Costa's sound joined forces with Randy'smore conventional approach, we seemed to have the whole world covered.Artistically speaking we were caught between a rock and a hard place. We hadworked with the smartest, hippest people in the world at Motown and PhillyInternational, and we would have been fools to discount the things we'dabsorbed from them, yet we couldn't be imitators. Fortunately we got arunning start with a song that Bobby Colomby brought us called "Blame It onthe Boogie." It was an up-tempo, finger-poppin'-time song that was a goodvehicle for the band approach we wanted to cultivate. I had fun slurring thechorus: "Blame It on the Boogie" could be sung in one breath without puttingmy lips together. We had a little fun with the credits on the inner sleeveof the record; "Blame It on the Boogie" was written by three guys fromEngland, including one named Michael Jackson. It was a startlingcoincidence. As it turned out, writing disco songs was a natural for mebecause I was used to having dance breaks incorporated into all the majorsongs I was asked to sing.There was a lot of uncertainty and excitement about our future. We weregoing through a lot of creative and personal changes - our music, the familyof dynamics, our desires and goals. All of this made me think more seriouslyabout how I was spending my life, especially in relation to other people myage. I had always shouldered a lot of responsibility, but it suddenly seemedthat everyone wanted a piece of me. There wasn't that much to go around, andI needed to be responsible to myself. I had to take stock of my life andfigure out what people wanted from me and to whom I was going to givewholly. It was a hard thing for me to do, but I had to learn to be wary ofsome of the people around me. God was at the top of my list of priorities,and my mother and father and brothers and sisters followed. I was remindedof that old song by Clarence Carter called "Patches," where the oldest sonis asked to take care of the farm after his father dies and his mother tellshim she's depending on him. Well, we weren't sharecroppers and I wasn't theoldest, but those were slim shoulders on which to place such burdens. Forsome reason I always found it very difficult to say no to my family and theother people I loved. I would be asked to do something or take care ofsomething and I would agree, even if I worried that it might be more than Icould handle.I felt under a great deal of stress and I was often emotional. Stress can bea terrible thing; you can't keep your emotions bottled up for long. Therewere a lot of people at this time who wondered just how committed I was tomusic after learning of my newfound interest in movies after being in one.It was hinted that my decision to audition had come at a bad time for thenew band setup. It seemed, to outsiders, to come just as we were about toget started. But of course it worked out just fine."That's What You Get for Being Polite" was my way of letting on that I knewI wasn't living in an ivory tower and that I had insecurities and doubtsjust as all older teenagers do. I was worried that the world and all it hadto offer could be passing me by even as I tried to get on top of my field.There was a Gamble and Huff song called "Dreamer" on the first Epic albumwhich had this theme, and as I was learning it, I felt they could havewritten it with me in mind. I have always been a dreamer. I set goals formyself. I look at things and try to imagine what is possible and then hopeto surpass those boundaries.In 1979 I turned twenty-one years old and began to take full control of my career. My father's personal management contract with me ran out around thistime, and although it was a hard decision, the contract was not renewed.Trying to fire your dad is not easy.But I just didn't like the way certain things were being handled. Mixingfamily and business can be a delicate situation. It can be great or it canbe awful; it depends on the relationships. Even at the best of times it's ahard thing to do.Did it change the relationship between me and my father? I don't know if itdid in his heart, but it certainly didn't in mine. It was a move I knew Ihad to make because at the time I was beginning to feel that I was workingfor him rather than that he was working for me . And on the creative side weare of two completely different minds. He would come up with ideas that Iwould totally disagree with because they weren't right for me. All I wantedwas control over my life. And I took it. I had to do it. Everyone comes tothat point, sooner or later, and I had been in the business for a long time.I was pretty experienced for twenty-one - a fifteen-year veteran. We wereeager to take the Destiny band and concept on the road, but I got hoarsefrom too many shows, too much singing. When we had to cancel someperformances, no one held it against me, but I felt as if I was holding mybrothers back after the great job they had done while we worked together toget us all back on track. We made some makeshift adjustments in order toease the strain on my throat. Marlon took over for me in some passages thatrequired holding long notes. "Shake You Body (Down to the Ground)," our setpiece on the album, turned out to be a lifesaver for us onstage because wealready had a good jam in the studio to build on. It was frustrating to havefinally realised our dream of having our own music as the showpiece, ratherthan the novelty song, and not being able to give it our very best shot. Itwasn't long, however, before our time would come.In looking back, I realise I was more patient than perhaps my brotherswanted me to be. As we were remixing Destiny , it occurred to me that we had"left out" some things that I hadn't talked to my brothers about because Iwasn't sure they'd be as interested in them as I was. Epic had arranged inthe contract that they would handle any solo album I might decide to do.Perhaps they were hedging their bets; if the Jacksons couldn't make theirnew sound work, they could try to turn me into something they could mouldfor the rest of my life. That might seem like a suspicious way of thinking, but I knew from experience that money people always want to know what isgoing on and what can happen and how to recoup their investment. It seemedlogical for them to think that way. In the light of what's happened since, Iwonder about those thoughts I had, but they were real at the time.Destiny was our biggest success as an album, and we knew we had reallyreached the point where people bought your record because they knew you weregood and knew you'd give them your very best on every song and every album.I wanted my first solo album to be the best it could be.I didn't want Off the Wall to sound like outtakes from Destiny . That's whyI wanted to hire an outside producer who wouldn't come to this project withany preconceived notions about how it should sound. I also needed someonewith a good ear to help me choose material because I didn't have enough timeto write two sides of songs I'd be proud of. I knew the public expected morethan two good singles on an album, especially in the discos with theirextended cuts, and I wanted the fans to feel satisfied.These are all reasons why Quincy proved to be the best producer I could haveasked for. Quincy Jones's friends called him "Q" for short because of a lovehe has for barbecue. Later, after we'd finished Off the Wall , he invited meto a concert of his orchestral music at the Hollywood Bowl, but I was so shyat the time that I stood in the wings to watch the show as I had as a child.He said he expected more from me than that, and we've been trying to live upto each other's standards ever since.That day I called to ask his advice about a producer, he started talkingabout people in the business - who I could work with and who I'd havetrouble with. He knew track records, who was booked, who'd be too lax, who'dput the "pedal to the metal." He knew Los Angeles better than Mayor Bradley,and that's how he kept up with what was going on. As a jazz arranger,orchestrator, and film composer, someone people thought was on the outsidelooking in as far as pop music was concerned, he was an invaluable guide. Iwas so glad that my outside source was a good friend who also happened to bethe perfect choice for a producer. He had a world of talent to choose fromamong his contacts, and he was a good listener, as well as a brilliant man.The Off the Wall album was originally going to be called Girlfriend . Pauland Linda McCartney wrote a song of that title with me in mind before theyever met me.Paul McCartney always tells people this story about me calling him andsaying we should write some hit songs together.But that's not exactly how we first met.I saw Paul for the first time at a party on the Queen Mary , which is dockedin Long Beach. His daughter Heather got my number from someone and gave me acall to invite me to this big party. She liked our music and we got totalking. Much later, when his Wings over America tour was completed, Pauland his family were in Los Angeles. They invited me to a party at the HaroldLloyd estate. Paul McCartney and I first met at that party. We shook handsamid a huge crowd of people, and he said, "You know, I've written a song foryou." I was very surprised and thanked him. And he started singing"Girlfriend" to me at this party.So we exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together soon, butdifferent projects and life just got in the way for both of us and we didn'ttalk again for a couple of years. He ended up putting the song on his ownalbum London Town .The strangest thing happened when we were making Off the Wall ; Quincywalked up to me one day and said, "Michael, I've got a song that's perfectfor you." He played "Girlfriend" for me, not realising, of course, that Paulhad written it for me originally. When I told him, he was astonished andpleased. We recorded it soon after and put it on the album. It was anincredible coincidence.Quincy and I talked about Off the Wall and carefully planned the kind ofsound we wanted. When he asked me what I most wanted to have happen in thestudio, I told him, we've got to make it sound different from the Jacksons.Hard words to spit out, considering how hard we'd worked to become theJacksons, but Quincy knew what I meant, and together we created an albumthat reflected our goal. "Rock with You," the big hit single, was the sortof thing I was aiming for. It was perfect for me to sing, and move to. Rod Temperton, whom Quincy had known because of his work with the groupHeatwave on "Boogie Nights," had written the song with a more relentless, get-downarrangement in mind, but Quincy softened the attack and slipped in asynthesiser that sounded like a conch shell's insides on a beach. Q and I were both very fond of Rod's work, and we eventually asked him to work onstylising three of his songs for me, including the title cut. Rod was akindred spirit in many ways. Like me, he felt more at home singing andwriting about the night life than actually going out and living it. Italways surprises me when people assume that something an artist has createdis based on a true experience or reflects his or her own lifestyle. Oftennothing could be farther from the truth. I know I draw on my own experiencesat times, but I also hear and read things that trigger an idea for a song.An artist's imagination is his greatest tool. It can create a mood orfeeling that people want to have, as well as transport you to a differentplace altogether.In the studio Quincy allowed the arrangers and musicians quite a bit offreedom to express themselves, perhaps with the exception of the orchestralarrangements, which are his forte. I brought Greg Phillinganes, a member ofthe Destiny team, over to "run the floor" on numbers that he and I hadworked on together in Encino, while the studio people were being lined upfor the date. In addition to Greg, Paulinho da Costa was back on percussionand Randy made a cameo appearance on "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough."Quincy is amazing and doesn't just pick yes-men to do his bidding. I havebeen around professionals all my life, and I can tell who is trying to keepup, who can create, and who is capable of crossing swords once in a while ina constructive way without losing sight of the shared goal. We had Louis"Thunder Thumbs" Johnson, who had worked with Quincy on the Brothers Johnsonalbums. We also had an all-star team of Wah Wah Watson, Marlo Henderson,David Williams, and Larry Carlton from the Crusaders playing guitar on thealbum. George Duke, Phil Upchurch, and Richard Heath were picked from thecream of the jazz/funk crop, and yet they never let on that maybe this musicwas a little different from what they were used to. Quincy and I had a goodworking relationship, so we shared responsibilities and consulted with oneanother constantly.The Brothers Johnson notwithstanding, Quincy hadn't done much dance musicbefore Off the Wall , so on "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough," "Working Dayand Night," and "Get on the Floor" Greg and I worked together to build athicker wall of sound in Quincy's studio. "Get on the Floor," though itwasn't a single, was particularly satisfying because Louis Johnson gave me asmooth-enough bottom to ride in the verses and let me come back stronger andstronger with each chorus. Bruce Swedien, Quincy's engineer, put the final touches on that mix, and I still get pleasure out of hearing it."Working Day and Night" was Paulinho's showcase, with my background vocalshurrying to keep up with his grab bag of toys. Greg set up a preparedelectric piano with the timbre of a perfect acoustic tone, to knock out anylingering echo. The lyrical theme was similar to "The Things I Do For You"from Destiny , but since this was a refinement of something I'd saidearlier, I wanted to keep it simple and let the music put the song over thetop."Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" had a spoken intro over bass, partly tobuild up tension and surprise people with the swirling strings andpercussion. It was also unusual because of my vocal arrangement. On that cutI sing in overdubs as a kind of group. I wrote myself a high part, one thatmy solo voice couldn't carry on it's own, to fit in with the music I washearing in my head, so I let the arrangement take over from the singing. Q'sfade at the end was amazing, with guitars chopping like kalimbas, theAfrican thumb pianos. That song means a lot to me because it was the firstsong I wrote as a whole. "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" was my first bigchance, and it went straight to number one. It was the song that won me myfirst Grammy. Quincy had the confidence in me to encourage me to go into thestudio by myself, which put icing on the cake.The ballads were what made Off the Wall a Michael Jackson album. I'd doneballads with the brothers, but they had never been to enthusiastic aboutthem and did them more as a concession to me than anything else. Off theWall had, in addition to "Girlfriend," a slippery, engaging melody called "ICan't Help It" which was memorable and great fun to sing but a littlequirkier than a gentle song like, say, "Rock with You."Two of the biggest hits were "Off the Wall" and "Rock with You." You know,so much up-tempo dance music is threatening, but I liked the coaxing, thegentleness, taking a shy girl and letting her shed her fears rather thanforcing them out of her. On Off the Wall I went back to a high-pitchedvoice, but "Rock with You" called for a more natural sound. I felt that ifyou were having a party, those two songs would get people in the door, andthe harder boogie songs would send everyone home in a good mood. And thenthere was "She's Out of My Life." Maybe that was too personal for a party.It was for me. Sometimes it's hard for me to look my dates in the eye even if I know them well. My dating and relationships with girls have not had thehappy ending I've been looking for. Something always seems to get in theway. The things I share with millions of people aren't the sort of thingsyou share with one. Many girls want to know what makes me tick - why I livethe way I live or do the things I do - trying to get inside my head. Theywant to rescue me from loneliness, but they do it in such a way that theygive me the impression they want to share my loneliness, which I wouldn'twish on anybody, because I believe I'm one of the loneliest people in theworld."She's Out of My Life" is about knowing that the barriers that haveseparated me from others are temptingly low and seemingly easy to jump overand yet they remain standing while what I really desire disappears from mysight. Tom Bahler composed a beautiful bridge, which seemed right out of anold Broadway musical. In reality, such problems are not so easily resolvedand the song presents this fact, that the problem is not overcome. Wecouldn't put this cut at the beginning or the end of the record, because itwould have been such a downer. That's why when Stevie's song comes onafterward, so gently and tentatively, as if it was opening a door that hadbeen bolted shut, I still go, "Whew." By the time Rod's "Burn This DiscoOut" closes the record, the trance is broken.But I got too wrapped up in "She's Out of My Life." In this case, thestory's true - I cried at the end of a take, because the words suddenly hadsuch a strong effect on me. I had been letting so much build up inside me. Iwas twenty-one years old, and I was so rich in some experiences while beingpoor in moments of true joy. Sometimes I imagine that my life experience islike an image in one of those trick mirrors in the circus, fat in one partand thin to the point of disappearing in another. I was worried that wouldshow up on "She's Out of My Life," but if it touched people's heartstrings,knowing that would make me feel less lonely.When I got emotional after that take, the only people with me were Q andBruce Swedien. I remember burying my face in my hands and hearing only thehum of the machinery as my sobs echoed in the room. Later I apologised, butthey said there was no need.Making Off the Wall was one of the most difficult periods of my life,despite the eventual success it enjoyed. I had very few close friends at thetime and felt very isolated. I was so lonely that I used to walk through my neighbourhood hoping I'd run into somebody I could talk to and perhap*****ecome friends with. I wanted to meet people who didn't know who I was. Iwanted to run into somebody who would be my friend because they liked me andneeded a friend too, not because I was who I am. I wanted to meet anybody inthe neighbourhood - the neighbourhood kids, anybody.Success definitely brings on loneliness. It's true. People think you'relucky, that you have everything. They think you can go anywhere and doanything, but that's not the point. One hungers for the basic stuff.I've learned to cope better with these things now and I don't get nearly asdepressed as I used to. I didn't really have any girlfriends when I was inschool. There were girls I thought were cute, but I found it so difficult toapproach them. I was too embarrassed - I don't know why - it was just crazy.There was one girl who was a good friend to me. I liked her, but I was tooembarrassed to tell her.My first real date was with Tatum O'Neal. We met at a club on Sunset Stripcalled On the Rox. We exchanged phone numbers and called each other often. Italked to her for hours: from the road, from the studio, from home. On ourfirst date we went to a party at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion and had agreat time. She had held my hand for the first time that night at On theRox. When we met, I was sitting at this table and all of a sudden I feltthis soft hand reach over and grab mine. It was Tatum. This probablywouldn't mean a lot to other people, but it was serious stuff to me. Shetouched me . That's how I felt about it. In the past, girls had alwaystouched me on tour; grabbing at me and screaming, behind a wall of securityguards. But this was different, this was one-on-one, and that's always thebest.Our developed into a real close relationship. I fell in love with her (andshe with me) and we were very close for a long time. Eventually therelationship transcended into a good friendship. We still talk now and then,and I guess you'd have to say she was my first love - after Diana. When Iheard Diana Ross was getting married, I was happy for her because I knew itwould make her very joyous. Still, it was hard for me, because I had to walkaround pretending to be overwhelmed that Diana was getting married to thisman I'd never met. I wanted her to be happy, but I have to admit that I wasa bit hurt and a little jealous because I've always loved Diana and alwayswill.Another love was Brooke Shields. We were romantically serious for a while.There have been a lot of wonderful women in my life, women whose nameswouldn't mean anything to the readers of this book, and it would be unfairto discuss them because they are not celebrities and are unaccustomed tohaving their names in print. I value my privacy and therefore I respecttheirs as well.Liza Minelli is a person whose friendship I'll always cherish. She's like myshow business sister. We get together and talk about the business; it comesout of our pores. We both eat, sleep, and drink various moves and songs anddance. We have the best time together. I love her.Right after we finished Off the Wall , I plunged into making the Triumphalbum with my brothers. We wanted to combine the best of both albums for ourtour. "Can You Feel It?" was the first cut on the album, and it had theclosest thing to a rock feel that the Jacksons had ever done. It wasn'treally dance music either. We had it in mind for the video that opened ourtour, kind of like our own Also Sprach Zarathrustra , the 2001 theme. Jackieand I had thought of combining the band sound with a gospel/children's choirfeel. That was a nod a Gamble and Huff, in a way, because the song was acelebration of love taking over, cleansing the sins of the world. Randy'ssinging is so good, even if his range is not all he'd like it to be. Hi*****reathing and phrasing kept me pumped up on my toes when we sang it. Therewas a bright foghorn-type keyboard that I worked on for hours, going over itand over it again, until I got it the way I wanted it. We had six minutes,and I don't think it was one second too long."Lovely One" was an extension of "Shake Your Body Down to the Ground," withthat lighter Off the Wall sound injected. I tried out a newer, more etherealvoice on Jackie's "Your Ways," with the keyboards adding a faraway quality.Paulinho brought out all the artillery: triangles, skulls, gongs. Thissong's about a strange girl who is the way she is and there's nothing I cando about it, other than enjoy it when I can."Everybody" is more playful than the Off the Wall dance tunes, with MikeMcKinney propelling it like a plane turning and bearing down. The backgroundvocals suggest "Get on the Floor's" influence, but Quincy's sound is deeper,like you're in the eye of the storm - our sound was more like going up the "Time Waits for No One" was written by Jackie and Randy with my voice andstyle in mind. They knew they were trying to keep up with the Off the Wallsongwriters and they did a very good job. "Give It Up" gave everyone achance to sing. Marlon in particular. We strayed from the band sound onthose tracks, perhaps sinking back into that Philly trap of letting thearrangement overwhelm us. "Walk Right Now" and "Wondering Who" were closerto the Destiny sound, but for the most part they were suffering from toomany cooks and not enough broth.There was one exception: "Heartbreak Hotel." I swear that was a phrase thatcame out of my head and I wasn't thinking of any other song when I wrote it.The record company printed it on the cover as "This Place Hotel," because ofthe Elvis Presley connection. As important as he was to music, black as wellas white, he just wasn't an influence on me. I guess he was too early forme. Maybe it was timing more than anything else. By the time our song hadcome out, people thought that if I kept living in seclusion the way I was, Imight die the way he did. The parallels aren't there as far as I'm concernedand I was never much for scare tactics. Still, the way Elvis destroyedhimself interests me, because I don't ever want to walk those groundsmyself.LaToya was asked to contribute the scream that opens the song - not the mostauspicious start to a recording career, I'll admit, but she was just gettingher feet wet in the studio. She has made some good records since and isquite accomplished. The scream was the kind that normally shatters a baddream, but our intention was to have the dream only begin, to make thelistener wonder whether it was a dream or reality. That was the effect Ithink we got. The three female backup singers were amused when they weredoing the scary backup effects that I wanted, until they actually heard themin the mix."Heartbreak Hotel" was the most ambitious song I had composed. I think Iworked on a number of levels: You could dance to it, sing along with it, getscared by it, and just listen. I had to tack on a slow piano and cello codathat ended on a positive note to reassure the listener; there's no point intrying to scare someone if there isn't something to bring the person backsafe and sound from where you've taken them. "Heartbreak Hotel" had revengein it and I am fascinated by the concept of revenge. It's something I can'tunderstand. The idea of making someone "pay" for something they've done toglass elevator to the top floor while looking down, rising effortlessly. you or that you imagine they've done to you is totally alien to me. Thesetup showed my own fears and for the first time being helped quell them.There were so many sharks in this business looking for blood in the water.If this song, and later "Billie Jean," seemed to cast women in anunfavourable light, it was not meant to be taken as a personal statement.Needless to say, I love the interaction between the sexes; it is a naturalpart of life and I love women. I just think that when sex is used as a formof blackmail or power, it's a repugnant use of one of God's gifts.Triumph gave us that final burst of energy we needed to put together aperfect show, with no marginal material. We began rehearsing with ourtouring band, which included bass player Mike McKinney. David Williams wouldtravel with us too, but he was now a permanent member of the band.The upcoming tour was going to be a big undertaking. We had special effectsarranged for us by the great magician Doug Henning. I wanted to disappearcompletely in a puff of smoke right after "Don't Stop." He had to coordinatethe special effects with the Showco people who controlled the whole setup. Iwas happy to talk with him while we walked through the routine. It seemedalmost unfair for him to give me his secrets, and apart from the money Iwasn't offering him anything he could make use of in return. I felt a littleembarrassed about that, yet I really wanted our show to be great and I knewHenning's contribution would be spectacular. We were competing with bandslike Earth, Wind, and Fire and the Commodores for the position of top bandin the country, and we knew there were people who felt that the Jacksonbrothers had been around for ten years and were finished.I had worked hard on the concept for the set for the upcoming tour. It hadthe feel of Close Encounters behind it. I was trying to make the statementthat there was life and meaning beyond space and time and the peacock hadburst forth ever brighter and ever prouder. I wanted our film to reflectthis idea, too.My pride in the rhythms, the technical advances, and the success of Off theWall was offset by the jolt I got when the Grammy nominations were announcedfor 1979. Although Off the Wall had been one of the most popular records ofthe year, it received only one nomination: Best R&B Vocal Performance. Iremember where I was when I got the news. I felt ignored by my peers and ithurt. People told me later that it surprised the industry too.I was disappointed and then I got excited thinking about the album to come.I said to myself, "Wait until next time" - they won't be able to ignore thenext album. I watched the ceremony on television and it was nice to win mycategory, but I was still upset by what I perceived as the rejection of mypeers. I just kept thinking, "Next time, next time." In many ways an artistis his work. It's difficult to separate the two. I think I can be brutallyobjective about my work as I create it, and if something doesn't work, I canfeel it, but when I turn in a finished album - or song - you can be surethat I've given it every ounce of energy and God-given talent that I have.Off the Wall was well received by my fans and I think that's why the Grammynominations hurt. That experience lit a fire in my soul. All I could thinkof was the next album and what I would do with it. I wanted it to be trulygreat.----------------------------End of Chapter Four-----------------------------

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• 安貝兒 ! 周末愉快！ -娃娃女- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/07/2009 postreply 21:00:36

• you too, my dear~ -安貝兒- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/08/2009 postreply 06:00:17

• 已經連載了一半，謝謝安貝兒，辛苦了。"In many ways an artist is his work." -紫君- ♀ (809 bytes) () 08/07/2009 postreply 22:32:08

• 謝謝你一貫支持。這次不知道為什麽排版亂了。 -安貝兒- ♀ (25 bytes) () 08/08/2009 postreply 10:10:15