大雪登門送白埃,梅家梅酒慶梅開。
醉中疑見莊生笑,引得群仙化蝶來。
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謝謝秋蘭。我昨晚匆忙寫的。現在讀起來,覺得經不起推敲。起承轉合,轉得是不是突然了?
-盈盈一笑間-
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02/07/2023 postreply
05:56:22
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我倒沒有這樣的感覺。當然,魯迅也修改少年時代所作的格律詩。如果必須要找茬的話,隻能說“憶…鳳凰台”的伏筆可更靈巧一些……
-renqiulan-
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02/07/2023 postreply
16:21:10
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It is a winning strategy to have connectivity in place.
-renqiulan-
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02/07/2023 postreply
16:29:19
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Agreed, having a solid connectivity in place is crucial.
-盈盈一笑間-
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02/07/2023 postreply
17:07:47
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多謝指點。我自己也有類似的感覺。轉得有些著急了。鋪墊不夠。“在學習前人範作的時候,特別留意這一點”,這點我要學習啊。:)
-盈盈一笑間-
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02/07/2023 postreply
17:02:25
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I bet we'll never say we've learned enough.
-renqiulan-
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02/07/2023 postreply
18:30:05
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