關於翻譯 “wilderness"的一點想法,以及該詩的意思。

狄金森出身新教(加爾文教派)家庭,個人曾在曼荷蓮女子神學院學習,她留下的文字多有講到自己與宗教的種種。考慮她生活的時代,以及她的個人出身經曆,(無論讀者是否信教)自然而然會把詩裏的"wilderness" 與(英版)聖經舊約中的wilderness相聯係。
 
英文舊約中講:
“And they took their journey from Elim, and all the congregation of the children of Israel came unto the wilderness of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after their departing out of the land of Egypt.”
 
中文聖經相應的文字是:
“以色列全會眾從以琳起行,在出埃及後第二個月十五日,到了以琳和西奈中間汛的曠野。”
 
所以在聖經中:wilderness = 曠野。
 
既然狄金森詩裏wilderness出典於聖經,考慮舊有的翻譯成例,按照翻譯的信達雅原則,詩裏的"wilderness"也應譯為 "曠野"。
 
狄金森這首詩,也許有多少讀者就能讀出多少重意思。不過其中的一重,也許是最貼近狄金森自己的一重,應該是這樣的:如果我不知道上帝在引路,那我會在【曠野的】黑暗中遊蕩而不自知。可是我知道上帝在引路,但我卻無能追隨之。
 
有關狄金森和宗教之間的糾葛,先講個狄金森的小故事。狄金森17歲時進入曼荷蓮女子神學院學習。老師裏昂小姐有一天在課上要信仰基督教的同學們站起來。結果全班的人都站了起來,唯有狄金森坐在椅子上沒有動。她的同學因此說她是個怪人。而狄金森後來對朋友講述這段經曆時說:”他們說我坐著不動是怪,我倒是覺得撒謊會更怪。“  在一封給朋友的信中,狄金森說:”【有一段時間】我幾乎以為自己是基督徒了。 我以為我再也不會變得自私庸俗。我覺得我從未像在找到了救世主的那個短暫的時間裏那樣無憂無慮,幸福快樂。可惜我很快忘記了,或者說厭倦了晨禱。 我的舊習慣一一複歸,我對宗教的關心比以往任何時候都更少。 我渴望收到您的來信,以了解您的決定。 我希望你是一個基督徒,因為我覺得如果在天上沒有所愛,任何人都不可能幸福。 我覺得如果我不愛基督,我永遠不會幸福。(I was almost persuaded to be a Christian. I thought I never again could be thoughtless and worldly?and I can say that I never before enjoyed such perfect peace and happiness as the short time in which I felt I had found my savior. But I soon forgot my morning prayer or else it was irksome to me. One by one my old habits returned and I cared less for religion than ever. I have longed to hear from you?to know what decision you have made. I hope you are a Christian for I feel that it is impossible for anyone to be happy without a treasure in heaven. I feel that I shall never be happy without I love Christ.)

由此可見,當初狄金森沒有站起來,並非因為她不信仰基督,還是因為她覺得自己還沒有做到基督徒所應該做的,覺得自己不配稱為基督徒,不願意說謊。

狄金森又為啥不能達標呢?狄金森在給朋友Abiah的信中坦白說:“岸上確是安全,Abiah,可我迷醉於海中弄潮。我能數清葬身那溫柔水下的沉船,能聽見風的嗚鳴,可是啊,我就是迷上了那份驚險。你在學會自律和堅守。基督耶穌會更喜歡你。可惜他一點也不愛我!” (The shore is safer, Abiah, but I love to buffet the sea?I can count the bitter wrecks here in these pleasant waters, and hear the murmuring winds, but oh, I love the danger! You are learning control and firmness. Christ Jesus will love you more. I'm afraid he don't love me any!)

讀了這些,大家是否覺得狄金森在她那首小詩中在做著同樣的歎息?

 

 

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