“A generic American accent"? I guess you speak with the midwestern accent if you grew up in Chicago area. I heard many news anchors and talking heads are from the Midwest. Is it true?
"Americans would have a hard time following folks who don't speak English the way they do." haha, I agree with you. Do you feel confused and bothered when we speak Chinglish here(MYSJ)?
"Everyday Joes and Janes use a ton of idioms. " Average Joe itself is an idiom, haha. I would prefer you to use idioms to talk with us, so we may learn from you. : ))
It is highly appreciated if you could correct me whenever I speak English with mistakes in MYSJ. 
