1 不要動/Hands off
A friend of mine was giving an important dinner party for her husband's business associates.
She put guest towels and soap in the bathroom, and, not wanting her teenagers to use them first, attached warning notes that read: "Use these, I'll kill you."
When the guests left after a successful evening, she went into the bathroom and found towels and soap untouched…with her warning notes still on them.
我的一位朋友為他丈夫的生意夥伴辦了一個很重要的晚宴。
他把客用的毛巾和香皂都放在衛生間。為了不讓她的小孩們先把這些東西用了，她在上麵貼了張警告的條子。上麵寫著：“用這些，我就殺了你。”
當客人們離開這個成功的晚宴後，她來到衛生間，發現毛巾和香皂都沒有動過…她的警告條子還在上麵。
2 真情/True feelings
We were leaving a football game in a throng of people.
My husband, who never displays affection in public, took my hand. I was delighted. As we walked hand in hand out of the stadium. I looked up at him, smiling, and asked, "You don't want to lose me?"
"No," he said. "I don't want to look for you."
我們和一大群人在橄欖球比賽散場時離開比賽場。
我那位從不在公眾場合流露感情的丈夫這時拉住了我的手，我非常高興。當我們攜手往體育場外走時，我抬著頭看著他並笑著問：“你不想失去我，對嗎？”
“不”，他說：“我隻是不想去找你。”
3 廣告的威力/The Effectiveness of Advertisement
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on TV excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, everyone had his point of view.
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. Grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement.
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked.
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked.
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
"Did you get the dog back?"
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
一群商人正興奮地討論在電視上做廣告。他們中沒有人做過，所以每個人都有自己的觀點。
此時，格雷先生路過。格雷是一個汽車經銷商，他曾經做過一次廣告。
“你們在討論什麽？”格雷先生問。
“廣告有用不？”其中一位商人問。
“噢，有用，而且見效非常快。”格雷先生說，“我曾經發布了一條廣告，要花100美金尋找一條丟失的看門狗。”
“你的狗找到了嗎？”
“沒，但是那個晚上我的三輛車被偷走了。”
4 是我啊/That's Me
In a darkest night, a policeman watches a staggering man trying in vain to unlock a door. "Is this your home?" the policeman asks.
"Sure, I'll prove it to you if you help me." Inside, the man explains, "You see, this is my bedroom. And this is my wife."
"And who is the man next to her?" the policeman wants to know.
"That's me!"
在一個漆黑的夜裏，一名警察看到一個踉蹌的男人怎麽也打不開門。“這是你家嗎？”警察問。
“當然，如果你幫我，我將證明給你看。”走進屋裏，那人說：“你瞧，這是我的臥室，這是我太太。”
“那她身邊的男人是誰？”警察想知道。
“那是我啊！”
5 顧客永遠是對的/The Customer Is Always Right
The manager of a shop was yelling at one of his staff.
"I saw you arguing with a customer," he said crossly. "Will you please remember that in my shop the customer is always right? Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," said the assistant. "The customer is always right."
"Now what were you arguing about?"
"Well sir, he said you were an idiot."
商店的經理正在對一名員工大呼小叫。
“我看見你和一個顧客吵架，” 他生氣地說，“你能不能記住，在我的店裏，顧客永遠是對的。你明白了嗎？”
“是的，先生，”店員說，“顧客永遠是對的。”
“那你剛才和他吵什麽？”
“噢，先生，他說你是個白癡。”
6 粉紅色的西瓜/Pink Watermelon
A fruit vendor in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside.
As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surprised to see that the fruit was pale pink but not red. So she returned with it to the vendor and complained loudly. "Madam," replied the vendor, "when one falls out of a vehicle to the street, one can expect to turn pale. How about a watermelon?"
在菲律賓， 一個女人從一個水果商那裏買了一個西瓜，水果商向她保證這個西瓜非常甜，因為是紅瓤的。
當這個女人騎車回家時，車子打滑西瓜掉在地上摔得裂開了，女人吃驚地發現這個西瓜不是紅瓤的，而是淺粉色的。 於是她返回去找水果商高聲抱怨。 “夫人。 ”水果商回答，“如果一個人從車子上摔倒在地上，也會嚇得臉色發白。 更何況是西瓜呢？”
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