1 我不能走/I Cannot Leave
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally, when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
一大批人在開會。最開始，發言的人講得很有趣，但時間慢慢地過去，他變得很沉悶。最後，當他講完的時候，隻有一個人坐在大房間裏。發言者走上前去，對他說，“其他所有人都走了，而你卻聽到最後，謝謝你。”“哦!別客氣!”那人回答說，“我不能走，因為我是下一位發言者。”
2 讓我教你/Let Me Show You How
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
“But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom—I' 11 show you how."
家超市雇用了一個年輕人，他第一天上班報到。
經理熱情地歡迎了他，和他握手微笑，之後遞給他一把掃帚說，“你的第一份工作是打掃商店。”
“但是，我是名大學畢業生，”年輕人憤怒地回答道。
“噢，對不起。我沒注意，”經理說。“來，把掃帚給我—我教你如何做。”
3 一半/A Half
Patient:Doctor, lately I hear only half as well as I suppose to.
Doctor:I don't understand that, but let's try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight.
Patient:Forty-four.
病人：醫生，最近我的聽力隻有我應該聽到的一半。
醫生：我不太明白，但是讓我們做個小測試。跟我說:88。
病人：44。
4 工作要求/The Requirements of the Job
Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
雇主：我們這項工作需要負責的人。
應聘者:我就是你們要找的人。我的上一份工作每次出了差錯，他們都說我該負責。
5 疼痛/Hurts
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says，“When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee-OUCH!When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you-you've broken your finger!"
一位男士去看醫生，說，“醫生，無論我碰哪裏，哪裏都疼。”
醫生問，“你是什麽意思？”
這個人說，“當我碰我的肩膀時，肩膀很疼。當我碰我的膝蓋——哎呦！當我碰我的額頭時，它真的，真的很痛。”
醫生說，“我知道你哪裏有毛病了——你的手指破了！”
6 停車罰款/Fine for Parking
"Tell me again,"asked the judge, "Why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully, "Because, Your Honor, it said‘Fine for Parking'."
“告訴我，”法官問道，“你為什麽把車停在那兒？”司機站起身，恭恭敬敬地回答，“因為尊敬的閣下，牌子上寫著‘可以停車’。”(牌子上的實際意思是“停車罰款”) 。
By the way, I will be out of town later next week, so no周末一笑next weekend. Thank you.
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