1 做好事
On a street near my workplace, I noticed a meter maid happily writing tickets for a whole line of cars parked at expired meters. As she deposited $10 tickets on one windshield after another, I felt called to do a good deed. I deposited a quarter in the last meter in the row, thus saving a fellow driver the price of a ticket.
Feeling rather pleased with myself, I headed for my office. I couldn't resist turning back in hopes of seeing the meter maid's reaction when she saw that the red flag was no longer showing on that meter. When she reached the last car in the line, she reached into her purse, pulled out her keys, got into the car I had "rescued" and drove away.
2 偵探狗
As I waited for my luggage at Atlanta's international airport, I noticed a government agent with a dog sniffing for illegal drugs among the crowd of arriving passengers. A woman next to me also saw the animal at work and noted that it was of mixed breed with long shaggy fur. “I thought those police dogs were supposed to be German shepherds," she said.
Overhearing her comment, the agent replied, “He is, but he's working undercover.”
3 有備於侃價
Every year, our family holds a rummage sale. I have to justify my pricing system to my husband by explaining that no matter how low you mark an item, someone will always want to buy it for less.
At our last sale, one customer proved my point. She approached me, carrying an item that she mistakenly believed was priced at one dollar. "Would you take 75 cents for this?" she asked.
"Sure," I replied, ”but it's only marked a quarter.”
"Oh," she responded. "Then would you take a dime?"
3 龍蝦的“故事”
My friend, celebrating a special occasion, went to a restaurant and ordered what she thought would be a lobster tail. But to her dismay, the entire crustacean was on her plate.
"He's looking right at me!” she exclaimed to the waiter. "I just can't eat him.’
The waiter removed her plate, but returned it a few moments later. The lobster now had a blindfold neatly tied around its eyes.
4 趕時髦
At the bank where I was employed as a teller we were not allowed to eat while working. But one day, five months pregnant, I was ravenous. I opened a bag of potato chips and started to devour them. Just then I spotted one of our best customers and his wife heading my way. Quickly, I wiped my mouth and greeted them. As I processed their transaction , I noticed they were looking at me oddly.
On their way out, the man said, “I don't understand these young people.”
"Dear, that's a fashion statement, ”his wife explained. "It's a new type of brooch.”
I looked down to see what could have caused such controversy. To my horror, a large potato chip was resting neatly on my left shoulder.
5 太敏感
Several years had passed since I worked for the federal government, but old habits died hard. A cable-television technician had just finished hooking up our service at home and told me he needed the 2185. I hadn't heard about this form before arid asked him，" Where can I get that form'2185'"?
Looking at me peculiarly, he replied."Ma'am, it's money.$21.85. "
6 隻能一輛!
After retirement, our friends Jim and Evelyn began traveling around the United States in a motor home, towing their compact sedan behind. While driving through a shopping mall parking lot in New York, they were pleased when a motorist stopped his vehicle and signaled them through.
Seconds later, they were jolted to a stop by a loud crash behind them. To their amazement, the polite motorist had demolished their car.
His explanation: "I didn't mind letting you nice folks by, but I didn't want that compact car to sneak through too."
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