Thank you for suggestion

來源: 馬下人 於 2015-06-02 06:41:53 [] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 閱讀數 : (465 bytes)
回答: I would think 由 youdecide 於 2015-06-01 22:46:12

哼著他的曲 -> 唱著他的歌 -- I hesitated between the two choices. I picked up "哼著他的曲" to add change of the rhythm but "唱著他的歌" is more consistent with the rest of the poem and also sounds excessive repetition. The latter may be a better choice thinking about the overall effect.

那女孩子正在縫補洗漿 -＞ 在縫補洗漿的女孩 --I use the way to rhyme.

Thank you again.

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