1 Churchill and Bernard Shaw丘吉爾和肖伯納
Winston Churchill was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. He was a fat and short man. George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer. He was tall and lean. Both of them were humorists.
When they met at a reception, Churchill said to Shaw with a smile, “Mr. Shaw, when people see you, they must think there is a famine in our country.”“Yes,” said Bernard Shaw, “but they must think you are responsible for it.”
2 An Abstract Noun抽象名詞
Teacher: What's an abstract noun, Jane?
Jane: I don't know, madam.
Teacher: What, you don't know! Well. It's the name of a thing which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me an example.
Jane: A red-hot poker, madam.
3 It depends看情況
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
4 Father’s Clothes父親的東西
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father，so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily，“Isn't that one of my ties，Tom？”
“Yes，Father，it is，”answered Tom.
“And that shirt's mine too，Tom？”
“Yes，that's yours too，”answered Tom.
“And you're wearing my belt！” said Mr. Howard.
“Yes， I am， Father，”answered Tom.“You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you？”
5 Stunning Reply出色的回答
My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, “Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?”
He thought for a moment and then replied, “A restaurant?”
6 Long Life長生不老
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, ” he shouted. “here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever.”
“And, ladies and gentlemen,” the man continued, “I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever.”
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, “if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?”
Then another person cried, “Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old.”
“Thank you, sir, thank you,” the man replied, “I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. ”
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. “Is that true,” he asked, “that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?”
“Don't ask me,” the assistant said, “I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years.”
（from Internet)
