Role mode
Early in the morning, my child came to my room and gave me a piece of paper of district Olympia math contest. Last year, my child did not get a medal, and I was disappointed. Although I knew that my love to my child was not based on the rewards, however, the disappointments still showed in my words. My child lived under my pressure.
This year, I did not expect her to get a medal because I did not want disappoints to overcome me. I told her to try her best. In the assembly room, we hugged and said good bye to each other. She was in an unhappy mood. I stepped out the building and prayed, “Lord, why is this? No matter how hard I try, it seems that something else is wrong?”
I set in the car with a very sad mood. All the memories came to my mind: I was not happy either when I came back from work. At work, I struggle with my English every day. I realize that my child is straggling with her study too.
I should have joy in whatever situation and understand that I am the first generation here. It is normal to struggle with language. Plus, if it is not language, there will be other challenges. I encouraged myself to face the reality and to accept the imperfectness of life.
Parents are the mirrors of children, and children are the reflection of their parents. I prayed that I would be the role model of my child. Before I complain about her, I need to ask myself or check myself first. At the end of the contest, they had medal reword announcement. I picked up my child; she got a 3rd place group medal. I took a picture of her group. On the way home, I asked her, “is it because that Dan is in your group so that you got the medal? Dan is very good at math.” My child replied with a crying tone, “Mom, I know you will say that.” I confessed and replied immediately, “mom loves you no matter what, and to get a medal is just to add the happiness to our lives. Last year, you did not get one, this year, you did. That is an improvement!”
All of the sudden, she cheered up, of course she is lovely most of the time, but it is my pressure make her lock of joy. I had made my decision that I would be my child’s role model. I will pray and try my best to be that role model.
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Beauty is in the eyes of beholder It takes a person’s whole life time of learning on how to live beautifully. Beauty perspective was built by long term practice of how to see things better. Same street, same city, different photographers will come out different photos. Like pieces of art, and some of them are inspiring. Each day is a piece of art. We should try hard to cherish and contribute the beauty to our lives. I love all the movies of moving to the west. Imaging those wagons suffered a long and difficult journey to the west. But today west coast states are developed to rich and beautiful states. Who were the pioneers with visions? Who created the beauty of history of this new continent? Listened to an audio book called, “my reading life”, the author wrote 200 pages per day. He might have observed the details of life and make normal life interesting and abundant. “The River Run Through It”, it is a movie to show how a normal life can be very beautiful. It was an ordinary river with some trees on the river bend. The father and two sons went fishing; later on two sons grew up. One of them became university professor, the parents were very proud of the older brother. The younger brother, however, lived under the shadow and pressure of the older one. Day by day, he had fight in casino, cocktail bar... One day the older brother came home from school during summer break for family reunion. The father went fish with two sons again. By now he was old, and he and the older son were enjoy the fresh air at the river bend, the younger brother jumped into the river and disappeared. After a while, he showed up again, and then he disappeared. The father kept saying “don’t worry” while he actually worried and looked at the river now and then. Finally, the younger son showed up with a big fish! At the end of the movie, the older brother summarized, “he is an expert fisherman!” But the younger brother died in one of his fighting without finding his value. I like people who have creative ideas and can make normal life special. The movie is just about a normal life, but the description of the river, the scene of peaceful countryside, and the meaning of life are all very inspiring. Beauty is in the eyes of beholder. We have beauty in heart so we can create beauty, and we can see things better.
