我的建議請參考。總得來說非常幫，應該是一氣嗬成寫成的，flow很流暢。看了你近來的兩篇習作，覺得用代詞指代方麵，你可以注意一下。內容方麵也很好，吸引讀者。
The Internet is a wonderful place （作為篇首第一段話的第一句，這個a wonderful place 太泛泛了，可以具體往你後麵的內容引一下）. It （代詞問題，it你指代的是什麽？而且後麵有mall也有人，對不上前麵的internet或者place，所以it指代不清）can be anything from a gigantic shopping mall with endless sales, to an ultimate wise （不確定wise的精細意思在這裏用是否合適，wise是智慧的，knowledgeable是不是更好？）man who knows about anything （everything和anything哪個更好，還是通用？我不確定）. Besides, it can also be a club/forum, a library, a theater, （and 或者or） a playground,. tThe list can go on and on. I have absolutely fallen in love with it at （不確定是否要加個the or a）first sight （根據我的esl老師說，如果你有了at the first sight限定時間，所以不能用完成時，要用過去時）and have never parted with it ever since.
As an old hand (a veteran) of Internet surfing, I have gradually developed a favorite list of my own. It might be a boring list to many of you, but each one of them（代詞指代不清） on the list has its own charm to me. In next （the following 或next several）paragraphs I would tell you the useful and healthy (healthy形容網站不合適，how about salutary, I just looked it up) ones, but I would also try to keep you away from harm(out of the harm's way), which means I won’t disclose (我會用include) those that are most addictive. In fact, I stopped going to those sites myself long time ago. :-)
disclose: 側重指揭露或泄露鮮為人知或保密的事。
expose: 多指揭露醜聞、壞人壞事或各種陰謀。也可指某物暴露在外。
uncover: 主要指移去遮蓋物，讓東西顯露出來。也可指揭露陰謀、秘密等。
reveal: 多指揭露一直隱藏或隱秘的東西，或揭示超乎常人理解能力的真理。
Nowadays, the first thing I would do every work day is to read through the tech blogs I nicely (diligently)/( have neatly) collected on （介詞不確定是否正確）my google homepage. They not only keep me at (the bleeding edge of) (current/abreast with) technologies, but also enable me bragging (to brag) about them to pretend to be (so as to be seen as) a guru in front of my colleagues.
During work, I would skim through financial sites and blogs to watch stock prices, and read about the stock market whenever possible. Without （an？）exception, I also dream about hitting (the) jackpot on stock market someday and retiring on a sunny beach soon,. bBut that dream is fading away every day with the corruption (spiral down) of the American financial and banking system. What a shame! I could write a whole series of articles if I want to vent my anger on(over) wall street.
After work, besides MYSJ and Youtube, the most frequented（ly） （visited /used？）links from my bookmark(s) recently are several fashion blogs (here is one I visited the most - http://www.extrapetite.com). I love those blogs because the bloggers are in the same petite figure as me. They post pictures and write insightful reviews about their new findings, as well as spreading the latest sales information. More importantly, they all write in English. I can learn a great deal of （note： slangy) (many) (useful)(fancy? vivid? idiamatic？) words and phrases about fashion and apparel, which will come in handy when I want to do girl talk with my female colleagues. I have been reading these blogs for a month now, and I will surely continue doing so.
Everyone knows now that MYSJ is my new addiction and I have been flooding(hosting) this forum as you all see it . Youtube is my only source of Chinese TV show because I have cancelled all my TV channels(subscriptions)（cable service）. These two have been discussed here by 99 and me, so I would simply stop here.
Thanks for reading. Looking forward to hearing about your own gems found on Internet.
Bricks are welcome as always
