By Rachel Emma Silverman
- Everett Collection
Years ago I had a very demanding, harsh boss. Sometimes, I would get so demoralized or overwhelmed that I would duck into the bathroom and cry, though I made sure to never burst into tears in front of my boss or colleagues.
Tears have been making headlines recently, with high-profile figures like John Boehner and Glenn Beck regularly welling up on the job and a recent study which found that women’s tears caused male testosterone levels to dip. Meanwhile, according to a Forbes article on workplace crying, most professional women have “fought back tears in the workplace at some point in their careers–many unsuccessfully” and that such crying can have harsh consequences, including lost promotions.
The Forbes article cites the research of University of California, Davis professor Kim El*****ach, who has studied workplace weeping for several years. She has found that women are far more likely to cry at work than men – and that crying on the job, at least for women, is almost always perceived badly, especially when done at a public meeting, a performance review or because of work stress, like a big deadline or a fight with a colleague. Such tears are considered weak, unprofessional or even manipulative.
El*****ach said women who cried felt awful about doing so and, instead of using crying to manipulate, would have done anything to stop the flow of tears, according to the Forbes piece. Some women even felt the tears were damaging to their career prospects. Bosses, meanwhile, often feel uncomfortable and unsure what to do when faced with a weepy employee.
Readers, have any of you cried on the job? What happened and what were the consequences? Or have any of you been faced with a crying employee or colleague? How did you handle it?
