1 費迪南德先生的午餐/ Mrs. Ferdinand’s Lunch
One morning Mrs. Ferdinand said to her husband: "Roger, there’s a meeting at Mrs. Young's house at lunch time today，and I want to go to it. I’ll leave you some food for your lunch. Is that all right?" "Oh, yes.” Her husband answered， “That’s quite all right. What are you going to leave for my lunch?"
“This tin of fish，"Mrs. Ferdinand said，"and there are some cold，boiled potatoes and some beans here, too.”
"That’s good.” Mr. Ferdinand said，"I’ll have a good lunch.” So Mrs. Ferdinand went to her meeting. All the ladies lunched at Mrs. Young's house，and at three o’clock Mrs. Ferdinand came home.
"Was your fish nice，Roger?" she asked.
"Yes，but my feet are hurting.” He answered.
"Why are they hurting?" Mrs. Ferdinand asked.
"Well，the words on the tin are: open tin and stand in hot water for five minutes!”
一天早晨，費迪南德太太對她的丈夫說:“羅傑，今天午餐的時候楊太太的家裏有一個聚會，我打算去參加，我給你留下了些食品作為你的午飯，行嗎?”她的丈夫回答說:“行啊，很好。那你為我留下些什麽呢?”
費迪南德太太說:“有一罐魚，還有一些冷凍的炸土豆和青豆。”
費迪南德先生說:“真是太好了，這下我有頓美味的午餐了。”於是，費迪南德太太去出席聚會了。所有的太太都在楊太太家吃了午餐。三點鍾的時候，費迪南德太太回到了家。
“羅傑，魚好吃嗎?”她問丈夫。
丈夫回答到:“好吃，但我的腳傷了。”
費迪南德太太問:“怎麽弄傷的呢?”
“你看，罐頭上的說明書寫著:打開罐頭，在燙水中站立五分鍾。”
2 這頭牛認為自己是匹馬
When Regina Mayer's parents dashed her hopes of getting a horse, the resourceful 15-year-old did not sit in her room and sulk. Instead, she turned to a cow called Luna to make her riding dreams come true. Now not only do the two regularly go on long rides through the southern German countryside, they do jumps over hurdles of beer crates and painted logs. Regina joked: "It's incredible really, she thinks she's a horse."
麗賈娜•邁耶的父母沒能實現讓她養上小馬的夢想，然而這位15歲的女孩並未向隅而泣。她找來了一頭名為“月神”的奶牛，決心讓自己的“騎士夢”變成現實。如今，這她不僅可以在德國南部鄉間“千裏走單騎”，還能騎牛跳躍啤酒箱和彩繪圓木堆成的障礙物。麗賈娜打趣“月神”道：“這確實不可思議，她還真把自己當馬了。”
3 麻煩的孩子
"Daddy，may I go out?" Asked Basil.
"No, it’s raining,” answered daddy. "You would catch cold."
"But daddy，I want to go out in the rain.”
"Here is a book I’ve bought for you，” replied the worried father hastily. "Now sit still and read it.” Basil took the book obediently. But after the first sentence he asked again:
"Daddy，it says here: a man is known by the company he keeps. Is that true? Because if a good man keeps company with a bad man，is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man，or is the bad man good because he keeps company with the good man，or do they each change，and if the. . .”
"Basil,” said his father, "you may go out in the rain.”
巴茲爾問他的父親:“爸爸，我能出去玩嗎，”
“不行，外麵現在下雨呢，你出去會著涼的。”他的父親答道。
“可是，爸爸，我想出去淋雨。”
著急的父親趕忙說:“這是我給你買的一本書，你現在乖乖的坐下來看書吧。”
巴茲爾順從地拿著書，可剛剛看了一句話就又開口問了起來:“爸爸，書裏麵說:看一個人所結交的朋友可以看出這個人的為人。這是真的嗎?那麽，如果一個好人和一個壞人接觸，這個好人會不會也變成了壞人呢;或者因為壞人結交了好人從而也變成好人呢;或者他們兩個人都變了，好人變成了壞人，壞人反而變成了好人。還有，如果……”
“巴茲爾，”父親說，“你現在可以出去淋雨了。”
4 船長與大副
The first mate was found to be drunk one day and that day it happened to be the captain’s turn to write in the ship' s log so he wrote: The first mate was drunk today.
The first mate begged and pleaded to the captain to remove that entry but the captain argued that once an entry was made in the company’s Log it couldn’t be deleted. 'The first mate decided to get even. The next time when it was the first mate's turn to write in the log, he wrote: The captain was sober today.
一天大副喝酒喝得大醉，這天正好輪到船長記航行日誌。他寫道:大副今天喝醉了。
大副苦苦哀求船長不要把這個寫進去，但是船長說一旦寫進了航海日記就不能刪去了。大副因此決定要對船長進行報複。當輪到大副記航海日誌的時候，他寫道:船長今天是清醒的。
5 超前思維
An old man and a young man are traveling on the train. The young man asks: “Excuse me, what time is it?” The old man does not answer. “Excuse me, sir, what time is it?” The old man keeps silent. “Sir, I’m asking you what time is it. Why don’t you answer?!” The old man says: "Son，the next stop is the last on this route. I don’t know you，so you must be a stranger. If I answer you now, I’ll have to invite you to my home. You’re handsome，and I have a beautiful daughter. You will both fall in love and you will want to get married. Tell me, why would I need a son- in- law who can' t even afford a watch?”
一個老人和一個年輕人坐在火車上旅行。年輕人問: “對不起，現在幾點了?”老人沒有回答。“對不起，現在幾點了?”老人還是保持沉默。“先生，我在問你現在幾點了。你為什麽不回答我?!”那個老人說:“孩子，下一站就是終點了。我不認識你，所以我們是陌生人。如果我現在回答你，我也許不得不邀請你去我家做客。你很英俊，恰好我有一個美麗的女兒。那樣你們會相愛並且結婚。你說我為什麽要一個連手表都買不起的女婿呢?”
6 到底有多少大豆
While going through his wife's dresser drawers，a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife，and when asked about the curious items，she confessed: "Over the years，I haven’t been completely faithful to you.”
"When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion，”she explained.
The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore，was inclined to forgive and forget a few moments of weakness in his wife.
"I'm curious though，”he said，"Where did the thirty dollars come from?"
"Oh that,” his wife replied，"Well，when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel，I sold out!”
一個農民在他妻子的化妝台抽屜裏發現三個大豆和一個裝有三十美元的信封。那個農民找到他的妻子問這件奇怪的事。她坦白道:“在過去幾年裏，我沒有完全忠實於你。”
她解釋道:“每當我做出對不起你的事時，我就會放一個大豆進去，以此來提醒自己對你的不忠。”
那個農民也承認他也曾有幾次做過同樣的事。因此，他願意原諒她的妻子並忘記這一切。
“但我還是奇怪，”他說，“那三十塊錢是怎麽來的?”
“噢，那錢呀，”他的妻子回答，“你知道嗎?每八加侖大豆能賣十塊錢呢!那是我賣大豆的錢!”
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