周末一笑：Gardening Gloves（ZT）

來源: 南山鬆於 2017-02-10 17:43:53 [檔案] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀：次 (5460 bytes)

1 園藝手套/Gardening Gloves

　　For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare."

　　Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.　　

　　幾個月以來，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結婚戒指，因為我對黃金有點過敏。生日那天，我正在幹園藝活時，丈夫問我想要什麽禮物。我舉起雙手說：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。”

　　那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開了丈夫送的禮物。“生日快樂!”他說。我打開一看：裏麵包著一雙園藝手套。

2 強尼的祈禱/Johnny's Prayer

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while emerged and informed his mother that he had thought over and then said a prayer.

"Fine",said the pleased mother.

"If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh,I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave,"said Johnny. "I asked him to help you put up with me."

強尼因為不乖就被趕進他的房間。過了一會兒。他就出來跟他的媽媽說他已緩!徹底反省，而且事後禱告了。

滿心歡喜的媽媽說：“很好，如果你求上帝幫勘你不要不乖，她就會幫助你。”

強尼說："哦，我沒有求她幫助我不要不乖; 我求它幫助你來忍受我。”

3 推斷/ Deducing

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

福爾摩斯和沃森博士正在露營。他們把他們的帳篷放在星星下，然後睡覺。在半夜時分福爾摩斯喚醒沃森，說：“沃森，看著星星，告訴我你看到了什麽。”沃森回答說：“我看到數百萬和數百萬的星星。”福爾摩斯說：“你從中推導出什麽？”沃森回答說：“嗯，如果有數百萬顆恒星，甚至有幾顆恒星都有行星，很可能有一些行星像地球那樣，如果有幾個行星像地球那樣，那麽也有可能是生命”。福爾摩斯說：“沃特，你白癡，這意味著有人偷了我們的帳篷。”

4 聰明的鸚鵡

A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

"I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.

有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那裏，他看見有隻鸚鵡的左腿被紅線係住，右腿則被綠線係住。對此他感到不解，於是他問該店的老板，老板回答說：“這隻鸚鵡受過特殊的訓練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語。”

這個好奇的人接著問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎麽樣呢?”

“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說。

5 它咬人嗎？/Does He Bite？

Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?

Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?

Reggie: That's what I want to find out.

裏基：我們又得到了一條新狗，你願意過來和他玩一會嗎?

羅恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人嗎?

裏基：這正是我想要查明的。