1 行李/Luggage
A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by the flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed.
"No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm hiding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"
一個商人拖著他那鼓鼓囊囊的特大號旅行袋登上飛機，真夠費勁的。 在一位機務乘員的幫助下， 他終於設法將旅行袋塞進了頭頂上的行李箱。“您總是攜帶這麽重的行李？”她歎息道。
“再也不會了，”那人說道，“下次，我待在旅行袋內，我的同伴買票！”
2 弄巧成拙/It was made worse
A man went to London to visit a friend. He stayed far longer than was expected. A week passed, he still made no attempt to leave.
At last his friend gave him a gentle hint: "Don't you think that your wife and children would miss you?" But beyond expectation the man's answer was: "Oh, thank you very much. It's most kind of you. I'll send for them."
有個人到倫敦去看望一個朋友。他逗留的時間比預期的長很多。一個星期過去了，他還沒打算離去。
最後他的朋友很溫柔地暗示他說：“你不覺得你的妻子和孩子在家裏會想念你嗎？”不料這個人的回答是：“啊，非常感謝你。你真是太好心了，我就把他們叫來吧。”
3 診療時間/Hours of consultation
It was half pass three. The doctor just lay down to have a nap when he heard a loud knock on the door. He got up and asked the man at the door: "What is it?"
"I've been bitten by a dog," said the man painfully.
"Well, don't you know that my hours of consultation are between twelve and three?" said the doctor unpleasantly.
"I know," groaned the man, "but that confounded dog didn't know, it bit me at twenty past three."
下午三點半鍾時，醫生剛剛躺下想小睡一會兒，就聽到有人大聲敲門。他起身問門口的人：“什麽事呀？”
門口那個人痛苦地說：“我被狗咬了。”
醫生很不高興地說：“哦，你不知道我診病的時間是12點到3點嗎？”
那個人呻吟著說：“我知道，可是那隻該死的狗不知道。它在3點20分咬了我。”
4 一個小男孩的年齡/A little boy's age
One day a minister went to visit a home in his new parish.
A little boy was playing in the living room. Before his mother came downstairs to greet the visitor, the minister cordially asked the boy, "How old are you, my little man?"
"I am five at home, six in school, and four on the cars," replied the boy frankly.
有一天，一位牧師去訪問他的新教區裏的一戶人家。
一個小男孩正在客廳裏玩。在他母親下樓來招待客人之前，牧師很親切地問他：“小家夥，你幾歲啦？”
男孩很坦率地回答說：“在家裏5歲，在學校裏6歲，在電車上是4歲。”
5 我會改一個名字/I'll Change My Name
At the age of 16, Eddie decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, "A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace!" he wailed. "What if the neighbors find out?"
"I'll change my name," the comic-to-be volunteered.
"Change your name!" His father screamed. "What if you're a success? How will the neighbors know it's my son?"
埃迪十六歲了，他決定離開家去參加一個劇團。他的爸爸氣壞了。 “讓我的兒子上舞台演戲？真丟臉！”他大叫道，“鄰居們知道了怎麽想？”
“我會改一個名字。”這位未來的滑稽演員主動提出。
“改名字！”他爸爸喊叫著，“那如果你出了名怎麽辦？怎麽讓鄰居們知道你就是我的兒子呢？”
6 戒酒演講/Lecture on Giving up Drinking
A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "
A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."
以戒酒為主題的演講比賽正在進行，一個演講者動情地說：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關係，甚至導致妻子離開自己的丈夫……”
聽到這一個男人大聲喊：“再來一瓶白蘭地!”
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