周末一笑: Which One to Call Back

來源: 南山鬆 2014-12-27 04:41:55 [] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀: 次 (7171 bytes)
1 給哪一個回電話 Which One to Call Back

After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitated some hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting, my wife answered the phone.
"Is this the home of Bert May, the mayor?" a woman's voice asked.
When my wife explained that I was at a meeting and would return her call if she left a name and number, the caller said. "That's confidential. This is his girlfriend. "
My wife, knowing this was all a ruse, calmly responded, "Lady, if you don't leave your name and number, he won't know which one to call back."
 
2 圖的引力 The Attraction of the Map

Mr. Smith taught English at a school .At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"
 
3 放在地板上 I’ll Keep it on My Floor

My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.
 
Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor.”
 
4 成年人的抉An Adult Decision

The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.
 
5 哪一What Grade

Kristin, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"
"Eleventh!" Kristin replied.
 
6 她是左撇子 She Is Left-handed

A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for."
"How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for.
"What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.
 
(from Internet)

所有跟帖: 

鬆鬆, I enjoy your weekend jokes as always.Thanks.Happy Holidays. -紫君- 給 紫君 發送悄悄話 紫君 的博客首頁 (329 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 05:14:04

6. Always have a second-string on hand. :-) -肖莊- 給 肖莊 發送悄悄話 肖莊 的博客首頁 (15 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 12:07:46

I guess he is an unfaithful husband. 肖莊, happy holidays:) -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 17:20:57

I like your comments for each story, very concise:) 紫君, Happy ho -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (23 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 17:18:09

Politician the prostitution -走馬讀人- 給 走馬讀人 發送悄悄話 走馬讀人 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 05:30:29

It looks like this is not that case. Happy holidays! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 17:22:42

South mountain pine, a new way to analyze... -走馬讀人- 給 走馬讀人 發送悄悄話 走馬讀人 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 05:53:27

OK:) -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 17:27:47

He accidentally told the truth~~~Xiaoman, happy holidays:) -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 17:29:34

Hahaha ~ ~ -肖莊- 給 肖莊 發送悄悄話 肖莊 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 12:19:16

問好肖莊,節日快樂! -南山鬆- 給 南山鬆 發送悄悄話 南山鬆 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/27/2014 postreply 17:30:08

Hahaha:)) Thanks, Songsong, for bringing laughter into your life -~葉子~- 給 ~葉子~ 發送悄悄話 ~葉子~ 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/31/2014 postreply 15:31:40

Happy New Year! ! -ZTM- 給 ZTM 發送悄悄話 ZTM 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 12/31/2014 postreply 21:19:29

Hi Song, very funny jokes, thanks! Are these true stories that y -ZTM- 給 ZTM 發送悄悄話 ZTM 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 01/02/2015 postreply 08:25:31

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