1 Whose Dog Was the Smartest誰的狗最聰明
Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.
The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles.
The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.
The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.
2 A Pleasant Surprise驚喜
A friend of mine had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed.
A few days later a neighbor came over to visit my friend. After admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen. "
3 A Clever dog聰明狗
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars.
"Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."
4 Were on That Mountain Over There我們在那座山上
My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.
"I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"
5 Im Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer it讓我的司機來回答
A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.
"sounds great," the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
"Yes," said one processor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "
6 It Seemed like Hours猶如幾個時辰
As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.
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