Backcountry

I used to live in a room full of mirrors; all I could see was me. I take my spirit and I crash my mirrors, now the whole world i
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Life Begins At 50!

(2019-05-28 15:05:54) 下一個

 Life Begins At 50

 

Thanks to my husband who reminds me constantly, I am officially 50 years old.

 

I still remember the moment when my mom told my father: “you are almost 40!” and the moment when I told my father: “Life begins at 50!” I never truly understood their feelings, their past youth and their unfulfilled dreams. What I comforted my father indeed reflects the way I saw them at that time: they were old in my eyes.

 

Now, at my age of 50, what about MY life?

 

The first 30 years I could safely say I lived for other people: my parents first, my husband and my son later on. That is to say, I first gave up my opportunities for an abroad education, then settled in in a well paid but unchallenging job for my own family’s sake.

 

I was told to do this and that, and I really didn’t know what I wanted for myself. By the way, who does when you are young and from a traditional Chinese family?

 

However, I was such a restless person, getting bored quickly with my job and my predictable future for the next 30 years.

 

I think at that time I made the best decision in my entire life: emigrate to Canada.

      

06/2000

The photo above was taken a year before my leaving for Canada, I look lost, not very happy, meanwhile was determined to make a change.

 

We gave up everything, including my husband’s promising business. We moved into a small one-bedroom apartment in Toronto, Canada. In no time I started to learn to cook and take care of my 4-year-old son. Of course, no nanny anymore.

 

The following 10 years was the most struggling period in my life. There were challenges domestically, challenges to fit in a new culture, speak a new language, and most importantly, challenges to find myself. 

 

Many times I was advised to send my son back to China, but I resisted. I wouldn't like to let another nanny look after him, "he is MY son, we go through ups and downs together." 

 

I still remember that every Tuesday, as soon as my class was over after 6pm, I would rush into the KFC to buy a meal for my son, who got picked up after school by a Chinese grandma I paid hourly. I remember one snowy Tuesday evening in the darkness, when walking with my son on the ice-covered sidewalk, I welled up for my own misery.

 

My father stopped by on his business trip, only cried out: you live like those migrant peasants!

 

To my great comfort, my son always thinks he had a fun childhood. In retrospect all those years together were our happiest time! Pain has no memory indeed.

 

For the past 18 years, I’ve learned:

  • As long as I have a dream, dream does come true if I pursue it hard!
  • Be an individual, do Not let anyone tell me what I am and what I want;
  • Always take care of myself first; and devoted to my family;
  • Take my job seriously; work productively;
  • Be an expert at my work, as well as at my hobbies;
  • Always be kind to others, always encourage, encourage, and encourage;
  • Grow together with my husband;
  • Be positive no matter what.

I do become a new person, happier and healthier.

50 years old 03/2019

 05/2019

Life does begin at 50! Take pride and enjoy! 

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Backcountry 回複 悄悄話 回複 'polebear' 的評論 : Thank YOU!
Backcountry 回複 悄悄話 回複 '天涼好秋' 的評論 : Thank You!
polebear 回複 悄悄話 謝謝分享,寫得很棒,一路走來,找到自己,收獲滿滿
天涼好秋 回複 悄悄話 I like your photos at 50, confident and happy! Congratulations!
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