成就和成就感

長周末期間，忘年交的老朋友打電話聊天，不知不覺就談到了成就和成就感。他的觀點是：在國內，有成就感沒有成就；在國外，有成就缺少成就感。他的意思是，在國內人們大多感覺良好，感覺自己很有成就，於是成就感比較膨脹；在國外，人們付出努力提高自己，也做出了很多成績，這是有成就，但是少有成就感，因為大多數人不滿意自己在給別人打工。

的確聽到很多人感歎，出國之後沒有成就感。成就和成就感的有無因人而異，取決於一個人的個性，追求和價值觀。成就和成就感可大可小，並非隻有做到CEO 或拿到Nobel Prize才是有成就，才會有成就感。先生和孩子對housewife新學的recipe讚不絕口，對housewife來說是成就和成就感； surgeon通過切除腫瘤，使瀕死的病人轉危為安，不僅有成就，還有成就感；投資者賺到一筆錢，有成就和成就感。這樣看來成就感是一個人對自身價值和成績的一種滿意的心態，對自己越滿意，得到別人的肯定越多，越有成就感，隻有當一個人做他喜歡的工作時，才最有可能產生成就感。

其實細想一下，不用被成就和成就感這樣的big words嚇倒，人們追求的明天過得比今天好，今天過得比昨天好，經常不斷地看到自己從不會到會，從會到精的make progress，就是一個積累成就的過程，however, I admit having a sense of accomplishment in work is much more difficult than in daily life。

 

 

[melly]

回複林貝卡的評論:

Thank you Rebecca. A topic with less fun but more rational thinking. hehe...

[林貝卡]

A nice article.

[Flamenco_Girl]

回複melly的評論:
You got it. Each of us is unique and has great potential in many ways, appropriate motivation makes big difference. I guess "comparing to others" is in subconsciousness, while learn from others can be a conscious effort.

Have a nice one!

[melly]

回複Flamenco_Girl的評論:

ha..I am 200% 阿Q.

I love your point of "try more of this world offers". I believe one's potential is not as limited as he/she thought. I never thought I could open a blog, now I have so many essays and friends. hehe...

So most likely what one has to do is to balance out the self-appreciation and reward for his past effort, and comparing to others to expand his/her potential.

Thank you, girl.

[Flamenco_Girl]

回複melly的評論:
I know Melley, you have a positive attitude and a good balance point. It seems to me that "comparing with oneself in the past" is by rational choice. 知足常樂; while "comparing with others" could be a feeling hard to igor. Such as people are conscious about their social positions, and present their images accordingly. From another side, it's the 不知足 that motivates a person to do better. A more accurate feeling for myself is not a direct comparision to others, but want to try more for what this world offers. As to "what this world offers", we pretty much learned from the experience of others.

Comparing to everage American, most of the folks here are quite accomplished, especially considering we are from a disadvantageous starting point.

[melly]

回複Flamenco_Girl的評論:

Hi Flamenco_girl,

I am happy to see your message. If you hadn't shown up, I would knock your door directly and ask for response. hehe... I do care your oppinion on this topic. You impressed me as a successful career woman knowing how to enjoy a package deal of life.

I guess comparing with oneself in the past is good enough since comparing with others may lead to frustration or depression as a result of setting up an unrealistic goal. As for other people's judgement, do you real care? One lives his own life, right?

Thanks.

[Flamenco_Girl]

I guess the feeling of accomplished comes from comparison, and it depends on who you compare with. While the accomplishments can be defined by oneself when he/she reached his/her personal goals. Also, other people judge us based on their creteria for accomplishments.

[melly]

回複blhw72的評論:

I'd like exchange my brain for yours, I doubt you want my body, which is not as evil as yours. lol

two nonresident of wxc friends of mine brought up two points. The first one was that feeling accomplished was rather related to how many people one controls than hom much money one earns.The other questioned whether one's sense of accomplishment was associated with the compliments and acknowledgements from other people.So it is indeed a personal choice and self-satisfaction, which is built on one's goal for life.

[blhw72]

Hey, PhD, the permanent head damage, me, a MD, do want you because MD is Muscular Dystrophy. Using your body with my head, we are perfectly healthy, aren't we? ;-)

Do me a favor, sweetie. Tell your boss, your MD friend, her only target accomplishment is to be a good cook. I'm sure that he would say that's brilliant. Wanna bet? -- 100 bucks!

[melly]

回複blhw72的評論:

Guess what? PhD means permanent head damage, I am disable and cripple now. lol Do you still want it?

Besides, my boss always believes a MD is much smarter than a PhD. It has been proven matter-of-factly.

[blhw72]

Honey, millions of thanks. I feel like accomplished because a PhD(you) admires me(master degree). LOL

From now on, my ambition is to be a good cook. Sounds like a BIG plan? ;-)

[melly]

回複blhw72的評論:

Helen,

I agree with your American friends in terms of your achievement. In retrospect, you obtained MD and became a doctor, which is one of the most respectable professions in the world. Then you finished your MBA degree and try your best on one of the most difficult careers in the world. I really admire you. (do not remind me you are not good at cooking,hehe...)

Desiring accomplishment is related to one's expectation, mirrors one's ambition, and motivates one's creativity as well.I love your oppinon about the benign circle of happiness and accomplishment.

thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[blhw72]

Melly,

The first person, who told me that I'd accomplished a lot in my life, was an American. Then more and more, they were all Americans.

None of my family members in China ever said so.

You know what, myself never feel accomplished either. I think I'd done nothing though so many Americans besides my husband keep on telling me that I've done a lot.

Feeling accomplished is a state of mind, a very personal view towards the value of self existance. There are different scales in different individules' mind. The difference of the measurements creat biases.

To feel accomplished, in my humble opinion, self-learning and self-acceptance are musts, which are associated with happiness.

Accomplishments generate happiness. Vice verse, happiness leads more accomplishments. It is a benign circle.