朋友如鏡（友情惠贈）

(感謝lindows友情惠贈！)

友情與愛情，是滋潤人生的兩道明麗的光。相對而言，愛情在心靈縱深處流轉脈動，友情在山高水長處舒蔓展枝。

歌頌友情的文字，大多以比喻的形式出現：朋友如珍珠，在時光的河中孕育得越久越美麗；朋友如酒，越陳越香；朋友如書，助你麵對苦難，不再孤獨；朋友如月，與其相處浴滿清輝，寧馨歡愉；朋友如歌，朋友如傘，朋友如……這些形象的比喻，讓人們懂得：朋友是人生重要的精神財富，值得珍視一生。然而應該交怎樣的朋友，卻是大有講究。有人認為要交與己聲氣相投的，容易談到一塊兒去。有人喜歡在性格相異者中尋友，能夠互補。當然，更多的人想交能為自己兩肋插刀的。這些似乎隻是交友的趨向，理解起來也比較抽象。印象深的是一位老者，他簡明形象地說明了自己的交友之道，那是一個哲理故事，也是一則生活小品。

說的是南朝時期一個姓沈的人，一日正下棋，有人走過來，說沈腳上穿的靴子是他的。沈說：“哦，是你的麽？”於是頭也沒抬，脫下給了那人。過了幾個時辰，那人又把靴子送回來，說弄錯了，不是他的。沈說：“不是你的？”接過靴子穿上，繼續下他的棋。文友發掘故事的含義：這個人得意忘言，且能大度寬容，這種人或許當今也有，要留意周圍，若發現的話，與這種人交友，必定受益。

能受何益？老者沒說，給聽者留下了思考的餘地。我想，所謂的受益，並不一定是指交了這類朋友，會在物質上得到他多大的好處，也不一定指望他會條分縷析，鞭辟入裏，給你直接注入什麽精神營養，以獲得高深的啟迪。受益之處，許是在與這類朋友交往中的感同身受，是一種熏陶，是一份領悟。

他的得意忘言，不正是一種對自己喜歡的事物的專注與投入嗎？那麽，被這專注的光輝沐浴，我們何愁不會心平氣和，放棄浮躁，做自己該做的、自己能做的事情？他的大度寬容，猶如那滔滔江河之水澎湃而來，那麽，這不正可為我們打開寬廣的視野，蕩開心胸，一步步走向風雲際會的人生新境界？

如此說來，是不是可以豐富關於朋友的形象，加一個這樣的比喻：朋友如鏡！

[melly]

回複blhw72的評論:

Helen,

I am with you. Blind forgiveness is a poison in relationships. Everything has a limitation. So does forgiveness.

[blhw72]

回複melly的評論: True, forgiveness maintains and safeguards a relatioship. I appreciate what he presented and offered when the person returned his shoes.

However, I don't understand the beginning part. Think about his: if the person said:' you killed sb", Shen responded"oh, really?' so he put himself in jain, till the person found out he was wrong, then got out of the jail?

I guess, a relationship is a mutual responsibility. One side offers blind forgivenss doesn't necessarily nuturn it. It should be reasonable.

[melly]

回複blhw72的評論:
Well, shen's story told me that one should be forgiving and provide what his/her friends need whenever one is able to. It may work for some people, not all. To me, matching is the most important. Like in a marriage, friendship also requires the adjustment of both sides.

[blhw72]

Melly, I am not sure if I agree with the "SHEN". To me, he doesn't have a principle of standing for himself.

In today's world, if you expect others to wake up on their own, which is actually great, most of time, it won't work that way. And it requires the person who should wake up also have a level of spirits and mind.

Perhaps I am too black and white. To friends, being frank and honest is my bottom of line to value a friendship. If it is a shortcut to wake him/her up, I'll speak it out.