《婚姻》 by 巴斯

婚姻

艾倫·巴斯（Ellen Bass） 林木譯

 

當你終於在重病之後躺下，整具身體

壓在我身上，這難道不像是

地層的沉積，歲月

對沙粒、淤泥、貝殼碎片的壓迫，

所有這些年，無數次醒來、入睡、

無眠的夜晚，爭吵，尋常的清晨

談些無關緊要的話題，還有短促

而熾熱的墜落，以及

動物啃草時不自知的

寂靜，流水、風、承載時間流逝的冰，卻留下

將沉積物粘結為岩石的礦物質。

怎樣承受這重量，每一片

骨屑都嵌壓其中。又如何承受

當那重量消失，就像一個

女人的脖子曾纏繞多年銅環，

如今再也無法獨自支撐。噢愛情，

它是藥膏，也是一道封印。它纏緊我們，

如同兔毛緊貼兔的肌膚。

當你剝下它，抓住

切開的皮毛邊緣，拉開閃亮的膜層，

身體溫暖而無力。如果你能，

你會鑽進濕潤、光滑的皮膚中

將它背在身上。這不是

像婚禮那般整潔、白色、鑲著蕾絲，

不是香檳從瓶頸溢出的

明亮泡沫。這發自肺腑的

血淋淋的結合是愛，但

也超越愛。超越魅力與歡欣

如你在你自己眼中早已超越魅力與歡欣。

這是剝了皮的愛情之肉，愛情幽徑

滿地碎玻璃，愛的枝頭被扯落的花瓣，

眩暈嘶啞的呼喊，那倔強的饑餓。

 

Marriage

By Ellen Bass

 

When you finally, after deep illness, lay

the length of your body on mine, isn’t it

like the strata of the earth, the pressure

of time on sand, mud, bits of shell, all

the years, uncountable wakings, sleepings,

sleepless nights, fights, ordinary mornings

talking about nothing, and the brief

fiery plummets, and the unselfconscious

silences of animals grazing, the moving

water, wind, ice that carries the minutes, leaves

behind minerals that bind the sediment into rock.

How to bear the weight, with every

flake of bone pressed in. Then, how to bear when

the weight is gone, the way a woman

whose neck has been coiled with brass

can no longer hold it up alone. Oh love,

it is balm, but also a seal. It binds us tight

as the fur of a rabbit to the rabbit.

When you strip it, grasping the edge

of the sliced skin, pulling the glossy membranes

apart, the body is warm and limp. If you could,

you’d climb inside that wet, slick skin

and carry it on your back. This is not

neat and white and lacy like a wedding,

not the bright effervescence of champagne

spilling over the throat of the bottle. This visceral

bloody union that is love, but

beyond love. Beyond charm and delight

the way you to yourself are past charm and delight.

This is the shucked meat of love, the alleys and broken

glass of love, the petals torn off the branches of love,

the dizzy hoarse cry, the stubborn hunger.

 

[菲兒天地]

翻譯得貼切。一首把愛情寫得既深情又殘酷的詩詞。