Ten Tidbits of Wisdom for Parent Difference Makers

-         by Maryln Applebaum (Mother) & Marty Applebaum (Son)

1.  Always remember that being a parent is the single most important job you will ever have in your life. Your influence is great throughout the lives of your children from infancy through adulthood.

2. Children need love like roses need sunshine. They need to be nurtured and clearly shown that they are loved and cared for.

3. Children learn from what you do as much as from what you say. Be everything you want your children to be. That is a gift you give to your children.

4. Think before you speak. Children's grains have a "tape player" within their minds that is set on "record", recording every word you say. In times of stress as adults, they will play it back. Make sure they hear words like, "You can do it." "I believe in you." "I'm proud of you." "I'm go glad you are my child."

5. Children need structure, routine, consistency. It provides safety and security. This means that it is vital that you and your spouse or and anyone else living in your home are all on the same page. If there is an ex-spouse, that person needs to be on the same page too. It also means that when you say something, you need to follow through. This teaches children to respect what you say.

6. Live your life with the values you want your children to have. Integrity, honesty, courage, morality, do not come naturally. They are learned behaviors.

7. Be careful of media. The influence is powerful. When the television is on all the time, it becomes an important "member" of the family unit, a role model to copy. Protect your children. They deserve it.

8. Teach children to make choices. Begin small. Too many choices at one time is overwhelming, like walking into a department store where everything is on sale at 90% off. You don't know which item to pick up first or which to purchase because it's so exciting that you can have pretty much anything. Start with two choices. "You can have __ or ___". Which do you prefer?"

9. Follow thourgh. When you say something, follow through. That teaches children to respect you.

10. Take care of yourself. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to take care of your children.