Address by First Name

Whether it is in eastern culture or western culture, we do not expect children to call their parents by their first names. Well, that is not the case in my in-laws’ house and therefore in ours either, at least not all the time.

When my husband first told me that he and his siblings are allowed to call their parents by their first names, he was proud and I was surprised as it was incomprehensible for me to do the same with my parents, it would definitely be considered disrespectful.  

Before the first time I met with my now in-laws, my husband told me that I could address them by their first names too.  So I did, and ever since and I love it. It put me right in the comfort zone between addressing them formally by Mr. and Mrs. and intimately by mom and dad (even though I have no problem doing it now).

By allowing me to call them by their first names, I felt that they took me in as someone of their own even though I came from a place thousands of miles away. Of course all this great feeling of being accepted came from the fact that they are two amazing people with open minds. They opened their arms to me the moment we met despite of the differences in our cultures and religious beliefs. They simply accepted the way I was and never tried to change anything and for this, I will be forever thankful for them.

I do not remember the first time Olivia called me and my husband by our first names. Probably when she was about three years old. Not long ago, Evan started with my husband too, but mostly just tags long with Olivia whenever she does it and he surprised me one day calling me by my first name at the dinner table.

Of course my husband does not mind considering his family history and I am cool with it too based on my own experience with my in-laws. It actually makes me want to laugh sometimes when Olivia and Evan tried to address me by the first name. It seems as if they pretend to talk to me as adults, it is funny. It also gives me the illusion sometimes that we are not their parents who hold absolute authority over them but their friends whom they can share whatever feeling they have, which is a relationship I wish I had with my parents when I was young.

One thing interesting is that after hearing me calling my husband coming down to lunch / dinner many many times (he is usually in his office all the way at the back corner of the 2^nd floor), once in a while around lunch or dinner time you will hear Olivia (standing at the foyer) calling her daddy:

“Jon, come down please, the food is ready!” Evan will copy her two seconds lagged behind.

Almost all the time, my husband ignores us or per him can not hear us. Olivia will then throw in the middle name in addition to the first name, again with Evan strings along two seconds later. And most of the time, we still do not get response.

Left with no choice, just like what I would do, Olivia will spill out her daddy’s entire full name on top of her lung and that one usually works.

[寒枝]

I can relate to this one, although my husband's name is in chinese:)

Seems it is a common problem for dads to come to the dinner table in time.