戴德生與瑪利亞 四

“ 丹尼斯頓 1896 年去世時 , 戴德生對他的妻子說 : “ 他的一次講道是我做決定方法的一個轉折點 .”

當時戴德生帶全家回到英國養病 , 同時拿他的醫學學位 . 後來他在英國征集人手 , 組織他們進入中國內地宣教 . 但資金很有限 , 內地條件艱苦 , 又有危險 . 戴德生一家以前都是完全仰望神的保守 . 現在他要帶這些基督徒去到內地 , 感到責任重大 , 為他們的安全 , 信仰成長 , 以及這個計劃成敗憂慮重重 , 難下決心 . 這時他正好去這個教會 .

“ 那一刻情況似乎變得更糟 . 當所有會眾站起來唱最後一首詩歌時 , 戴德生四下一望 , 一排接一排富有 , 蓄著絡腮胡的商人 , 店主 , 訪問者 ; 端莊的妻子們穿著長裙 , 戴著帽子 ; 早就被教訓好 , 懂得如何掩飾不耐煩的孩子們 . 這種自鳴得意的虔誠氛圍令他作嘔 . 戴德生抓起帽子離開 .’ 不能忍受看著這一千 , 甚至更多的基督徒會眾在他們自己已被保證的得救裏麵快樂慶祝 , 而上百萬的人卻因沒有聽到福音而正走向滅亡 . 我獨自在海灘漫步 , 靈魂受著極大的煎熬 .’

1865 年周日早上主日崇拜時間的布賴頓海灘人跡罕見 . 戴德生走下去 , 穿過鵝卵石的部分 , 來到一條窄窄的落潮形成的沙地 . 到了必須做決定的時候了 . 轉折點到來 , 他必須行動 , 不然就徹底放棄 .

他滿心抑鬱和恐懼地跋涉在沙地 , 轉過一個彎 , 眼前出現了光亮透明的大海 . 忽然他想到了天堂 .

‘ 好吧 , 如果神賜給我這一班人去中國內地 , 他們去了 , 就算全都餓死 , 那麽他們也隻會直接進入天堂 . 而如果有一個中國靈魂因此計劃被拯救 , 是不是也值得 ?’ 他繼續走著 , 稍微開心了一點 . 他站住了 , 想起丹尼斯頓講道裏一個可愛的觀點 .’ 哎呀 ,’ 他自言自語道 ,’ 如果我們順從上帝的旨意 , 那麽責任是在他身上 , 而不是我們 !’

‘ 您 , 主啊 ! 您將負起這些重擔 . 所有的責任您都肩起 , 主耶穌 ! 我降服在您麵前 . 所有的結果也是您來承擔 . 您將指揮 , 保守 , 引導我 , 還有那些和我同工的人們 . 我決定告訴這些同工出發 .’

他從胳膊下麵抽出聖經 , 這是一本希伯來語和英語 , 希臘語和英語的對照聖經 , 設計成一年讀完 , 一天兩章的進度 . 他在扉頁寫下 :’ 為 24 位熟練的自願同工禱告 , 布賴頓 ,1865 年 6 月 25 日 .

全然的喜樂和平安 . 我感覺好像可以飛到山上皮爾斯先生的房子去 . 那天晚上我真的睡著了 ! 我親愛的妻子認為布賴頓在我身上成就了奇跡 , 而它正是成就了 .’

神是一個奇妙的神 , 他常常安排適當的人在適當的時候幫助我們 , 這樣的事太多了 , 並不僅僅發生在戴德生身上 . 神奇妙地開人的眼 , 令他們在糾結許久的問題上豁然開朗 . 神從不給我們多過可以承受的試煉 , 他要我們把自己所不能的全部交托 , 由他承擔 . 但他的確常常給人試煉 , 是為曆練我們的信心 , 讓我們更進一步地認識他 .

現在我們都懂得了這一點 , 可是在戴德生的時代 , 他們都是在困苦和絕望裏才學到這些 . 隻有到了無能為力的時候 , 人才會轉向神求救 .

“ 戴德生的基督徒服事從來就不是一個自私的獲取天恩的計劃 , 而是謙卑而衷心的對耶穌救恩體驗的感謝 . 布賴頓海灘的經曆後這樣的服事有了更深的意義 .

…….

戴德生的自省給他帶來折磨 , 但他對命令的服從 , 他對神啟示的認知又一次使他的路上充滿了光 . 他此時知道神在乎他的恐懼 , 允許他們參與神的計劃 ; 神了解一切 . 因此戴德生腦子裏最主要的感覺就是他是在一種愛的關係當中服事 , 他比以往任何時候都清楚這一點 . 神呼召了他 , 他把自己呈上作為神手中的一個器皿 : 神可以用他做任何想做的事 , 也會負起責任帶領他 . 而神是他的天父 . 是一個天父呼召了他 , 一個愛他如此之切的天父 , 不能允許他有半點缺乏 .

籍著耶穌作為中保 , 戴德生和神有直接的交流 – 來獲取智慧 , 力量 , 供應 . 以這樣的確信他才能麵對任何曆險 . 當時他還不能分析這些 , 但卻是他勇氣的來源 . 他情不自禁地信靠神 , 因為信靠就是一個孩子對他全智 , 全愛 , 全能的天父的信賴 .

……

在內心深處 , 戴德生是個需要照顧的孩子 , 日常生活中沒有了天父的關愛 , 和聖靈同在的意識 , 他就會迷失 . 而在這世上 , 沒有了瑪利亞 , 他也會迷失 .

而就是這樣他成就了偉大 . 對這個世界來說 , 他是一個虛弱的動物 – 體形羸弱 , 沒有有權力的朋友 , 幾乎就是一個乞丐 . 但他把自己全部托付給神 , 變成了至高者的器皿 . 他的智力 , 他的意誌力 , 他依附於神的力量 , 他的魅力 , 他激發和養育情感及忠實的能力 , 都被那神聖的一位觸到 ; 令他的偉大遠大過他所有能力的總和 .

他並不知曉 , 在 1865 年 6 月的最後幾天 , 神怎樣計劃賜給他這些同工以及方法來向中國內地傳福音 . 但是戴德生一點也不懷疑神會安排 .”

其實就是這樣 , 我們人都是軟弱和渺小的 , 隻有將自己交托在神手裏 , 信靠他的大能 , 公義和慈愛 , 我們才由軟弱變堅強 , 隻有接通了神無盡的愛與能力的泉源 , 我們才真正能夠成就神的計劃 . 一切都在神手裏 , 是基督徒內心平安 , 和力量的來源 . 戴德生在四年後通過他的同工徹底認識到這一點 .

“ 他讀到了一封來自約翰麥卡錫的信 , 這是一封長信 , 寫於戴德生走後的一兩天內 . 戴德生讀著讀著 , 注意力越來越集中 ,’ 我好像 ,’ 麥卡錫寫道 ,’ 看到輝煌一天的到來 , 東方破曉的第一絲微光 …… 我似乎啜到那真正可以令我滿足的瓊漿 .’ 麥卡錫找到了他們一直苦苦追尋的道理 . 戴德生再次讀信 ,’ 了解到我親愛的救贖主在我裏麵實行他的意願 …… 所以遵守他 , 而不要憑自己努力 , 掙紮 ……’

戴德生讀到最後一段 ’ 不要憑自己努力去得到信仰 , 抑或憑自己去增強信仰 , 仰望那一位信實的神是我們所有需要做的 . 完全安歇在愛我們的神裏麵 , 此時 , 永遠 . 這對我來說並不是什麽新鮮事 , 隻是以前誤解了 .’

戴德生驚訝於自己會如此盲目 . 他的眼被大大地打開 , 就像 20 年前在巴恩斯利 .4 年前在布賴頓那樣 , 內心長久的掙紮在一瞬間消融 .’ 我讀著信 , 完全明白了 ,’ 不管我們相信與否 , 他的信實都長存於此 .’ 我凝神耶穌 , 我看到 ( 當我看到 , 哦 , 喜樂如此流淌在我心裏 ) 他說過 ,’ 我永遠也不撇下你們 .’’ 這之後戴德生用可以描述的最短時間領會了他無需掙紮來得到力量和平安 , 而隻要安歇在基督的力量和平安裏麵 .’ 我一直在徒勞掙紮想要安住在他裏麵 . 我不再掙紮了 . 因為他不是已經承諾了與我同在 – 永不撇下我 , 永不令我失望 ?’ ‘ 得到 ’ 這些的努力正是人的錯誤 .

‘ 我與基督合一 ,’ 他匆匆把鎮江的人聚集在一起 , 讀麥卡錫的信 , 並講述這個美好的發現時大聲喊道 ,’ 拚命努力從神那裏得到全部完全是錯的 . 我就是他的一部分 . 我們每個人都是耶穌身體的一個部分 , 是葡萄藤的一個枝子 . 啊 , 想想這是多麽美好的事 , 能和一個複活的救贖主成為真正一體 .’ 幾周以後他用同樣的一些話寫信給他在英國的妹妹艾美利亞 , 詳細說明了他這麽長時間都沒明白的真理 :’ 想想這說明什麽 ! 當基督富有時 , 我怎麽可能貧窮 ? 當你的右手富有時 , 左手怎麽會貧窮 ? 或者你的頭飽足時而你的身體卻在挨餓 ?’

戴德生得到了真正永恒的力量和心底的安寧 , 在他尋求神 , 為神做工的路上 , 神將一切顯明給他 . 他從此更加得力 , 在中國結出了令人欣喜的果子 .

1905 年 6 月 3 日 , 戴德生在湖南長沙去世，埋葬在鎮江長江邊上，與原配妻子瑪莉亞和 4 個孩子合葬。他把他的一生和家庭都奉獻給神，奉獻給中國。他的墓碑上寫著： “ 他一生常在基督裏 (A MAN IN CHRIST)”. 他的後代一直在中國宣教 , 實現了他所說 : “ 我和我一家，我們必定事奉耶和華 ”

戴德生 =>> 戴存仁,戴存義 =>> 戴永冕 =>> 戴紹曾 =>> 戴繼宗 . 每一代都是自己蒙召做了牧師 , 並不是秉承父命 .

解放以後中國政府驅逐宣教士 , 戴家轉到新加坡 , 香港繼續致力於神的事業 , 戴繼宗牧師現居台灣 . 他是戴家第一個娶了華人 ( 柯悅敏 ) 做妻子的 . 他有三個兒子 : 戴承約 , 戴承書 , 戴承亞 ( 來自聖經人物約書亞 ). 目前三個兒子還未全職事奉神 , 戴繼宗說 : “ 我不會勉強他們，這是勉強不來的，他們必需自己在神麵前領受和順服。 ”

戴德生的一生是跟隨神 , 認識神和經曆神的一生 . 給後人無盡的啟示和鼓勵 . 我也是其中受益的一人 . 在此努力翻譯講述自己的理解和感受 , 希望更多人從中得益 . 即使是有一人因此願意認識我們偉大的主 , 那也就值得了 .

感謝讚美主!一切榮耀歸給他!

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照片來自網絡
原文

 Taylor told Mrs. Denniston on her husband’s death in 1896 that “a sermon from him was the turning point in my decision.”

At the moment it seemed to worsen the situation. As the full congregation rose to sing the last hymn, Taylor looked around. Pew upon pew of prosperous, bearded merchants, shopkeepers, visitors; demure wives in bonnets and crinolines, scrubbed children trained to hide their impatience; the atmosphere of smug piety sickened him. He seized his hat and left. “Unable to bear the sight of a congregation of a thousand or more Christian people rejoicing in their own security, while millions were perishing for lack of knowledge, I wandered out on the sands alone, in great spiritual agony.”

Brighton beach at church time on Sunday morning in 1865 was almost deserted. Taylor walked down across the shingle to the narrow strip of sand left by the receding tide. Decision no longer could be averted. Breaking point had come. He must go forward, or else for ever hold his peace.

He trudged the sands in gloom and fear. As he turned, his eye took in the glassy sea. He thought suddenly of heaven. “Well, if God gives us a band of men for inland China, and they go, and all die of starvation even, they will only be taken straight to heaven. And if one heathen soul is saved would it not be worth while?” He walked on, a trifle more cheerful. He stopped, recalling some taking point of Denniston’s sermon. “Why,” he said to himself, “If we are obeying the Lord, the responsibility rests with Him, not with us!”

“Thou, Lord! Thou shalt have the burden. All the responsibility lies on thee, Lord Jesus! I surrender. The consequences rest with Thee. Thou shalt direct, care for, guide me, and those who labour with me. I will ask for the workers to come forward.”

He took his Bible from under his arm, a parallel Bible of Hebrew and English, Greek and English, designed to give two chapters for each day of the year. On the fly leaf he wrote:”Prayed for twenty-four willing skilful labourers at Brighton, June 25 1865.”

“All was joy and peace. I felt as if I could fly up the hill to Mr. Pearse’s House. And how I did sleep that night! My dear wife thought Brighton had done wonders for me, so it had.”

P129

Hudson Taylor’s Christian service had never been a selfish scheming to curry divine favor,but a humble and hearty thanks for the experience of redemption by Christ. After Brighton beach this service took on a deeper tone.

Hudson’s self-searchings had sent him into agonies, but once again his acceptance of a command, his recognition of a revelation, had thrust him forward in a burst of light on his path. He know now that God cared about his fears and had allowed for them in shaping His plan; God understood. The dominant feeling in Hudson’s mind, therefore, more than ever before, was that he served in a relationship of love. God had called him and he had yielded himself as an instrument in God’s hands: God could do what He liked with him and would be responsible for directing him. But God was his Father. It was a Father who had called him, a Father who loved him so much that He could not allow him to lack anything.

Trough Christ at his side Hudson had immediate access to God – for wisdom, for strength, for supply. With that certainty he could face any adventure and this, though he would not have analyzed it, was the spring of his courage. He could not help having faith, for faith was merely the trust of a child in an all-wise, all-loving, all-powered Father. At heart, Hudson was a child who needed looking after, who would be lost without the daily care of his Father and the consciousness of the Spirit of Christ, Justas, on the hum plain, he was lost without Maria.

And thus Hudson Taylor reached greatness. To the world he was a feeble creature – of weedy physique, without powerful friends, almost a pauper. But he had thrown himself on God, had become an instrument of the Most High. His intelligence, his will power and sticking power, his charm, his capacity to inspire and foster affection and loyalty, had all been touched by the divine; he had become greater than the sum of his parts.

He had no idea, in the last days of June 1865, how God planned to give him the men or means to evangelize inland China. But Hudson had not the slightest doubt that He would.

P197

Hw came upon one from John McCarthy, written a day or two after Hudson had left. It was a long letter. He read on and on, attention riveted. “I seem,” McCarthy wrote, “as if the first glimmer of the dawn of a glorious day has risen upon me…… I seem to have sipped only of that which can fully satisfy.” McCarhty had found the secret they sought. Hudson looked at the letter again. “To tell my loving Saviour work in me His will…… Abiding, not striving or struggling….”

Hudson came to the last paragraph. “Not a striving to have faith, or to increase our faith but a looking at the faithful one seems all we need. A resting in the loved one entirely, for time, for eternity. It does not appear to me as anything new, only formerly misunderstood.”

Hudson was amazed at his own blindness. His eyes opened wide. As in Barnsley twenty years before, as at Brighton four years before, a long inward struggle resolved in a split second. ‘As I read I saw it all. “If we believe not, He abideth faithful.’ And I looked into Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed) that He had said, ’I will never leave you.’” In shorter times than it took to describe afterwards Hudson grasped that he must not struggle to have strength or peace but rest in the strength and peace of Christ. “I have striven in vain to abide in Him. I’ll strive no ore. For has not He promised to abide with me – never to leave me, never to fail me?” The effort to “get it out” was a mistake.

“I am one with Christ,” he cried as he explained the glorious discovery to the whole Chinkiang household, hastily gathering them together and reading McCarth’s letter. “It was all a mistake to try and get the fullness out of Him. I am part of Him. Each of us is a limb of His body, a branch of the vine. Oh, think what a wonderful thing it is to be really one with a risen Saviour.” And in some such words as he wrote a few weeks later to his sister Amelia in England, he expounded the truth he had missed so long: “Think what it involves! Can Christ be rich and I poor? Can your right hand be rich and your left poor? Or you7r head well fed and your body starves?”