TENEBRAE (熄燈禮拜)- THE SERVICE OF SHADOW

這是我第一次參加熄燈禮拜.我在儀式即將開始的時候趕到,整個教堂暗暗的.講壇正中的桌子上點著八支蠟燭,放著音樂,大屏幕上是一些經句和讓我們思考的語句,下麵已經坐了很多人.氣氛十分肅穆.

我喜歡這樣眾人在一起的靜默.大家坐在幽幽的燈光的暗影裏,燭光點點.輕輕的樂聲裏,我們默默靜坐,默想自己的過犯和軟弱,默念耶穌為我們承受的一切.那麽多人,靜靜坐著,讀著屏幕上的文字,默默仰望,沉思.我喜歡這樣的時候,我感到他人的存在,共同的思想,卻又可以安靜,和神獨自交流.有一種力量把我們連在一起.

牧師簡短的介紹和禱告之後,儀式就開始了.整個儀式過程當中所有人都當沉默.有指定的人上去讀相關的經句,一個人讀完,就熄滅一支蠟燭,然後是音樂;接著下一個人上去讀,再熄滅一支蠟燭,直至蠟燭全部熄滅.眾人可以在座位上停留默禱,然後靜靜離去.

我從一開始的經句朗讀就開始流淚,時斷時續.那些熟悉的經句和音樂從來沒有這樣打動過我.我的眼淚不知不覺流下,就像一個孩子終於明白自己做錯了什麽,給大人帶來怎樣的苦痛.

記得以前有一次團契聚會時,一個弟兄講耶穌受難,放了Via Dolorosa這首歌,他兩眼紅紅,滿麵傷痛,好像耶穌就是他的親人.我當時很不理解,沒想到現在我也到了這一步.

我滿心感念耶穌為我們做的犧牲,受的痛苦,侮辱,以及擔世人之罪在他一身而與神的片刻分離.申初的時候,他忍受著肉體的折磨,眾人的侮辱,大聲喊著說:"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" 他不能忍受他的父向他掩麵.而他要成就他父的事.

我是如此羞愧,羞愧自己的罪,和軟弱.今天所有經句中最震動我的是:

LUKE
22:54 他們拿住耶穌，把他帶到大祭司的宅裏。彼得遠遠的跟著。
Then took they him, and led him, and brought him into the high priest's house. And Peter followed afar off.
 
22:55 他們在院子裏生了火，一同坐著。彼得也坐在他們中間。
And when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the hall, and were set down together, Peter sat down among them. 

22:56 有一個使女，看見彼得坐在火光裏，就定睛看他，說，這個人素來也是同那人一夥的。
But a certain maid beheld him as he sat by the fire, and earnestly looked upon him, and said, This man was also with him. 
 
22:57 彼得卻不承認，說，女子，我不認得他。
And he denied him, saying, Woman, I know him not. 
 
22:58 過了不多的時候，又有一各人看見他，說，你也是他們一黨的。彼得說，你這個人，我不是。
And after a little while another saw him, and said, Thou art also of them. And Peter said, Man, I am not. 
 
22:59 約過了一小時，又有一個人極力的說，他實在是同那人一夥的。因為他也是加利利人。
And about the space of one hour after another confidently affirmed, saying, Of a truth this fellow also was with him: for he is a Galilaean. 
 
22:60 彼得說，你這個人，我不曉得你說的是什麽。正說話之間雞就叫了。
And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew. 
 
22:61 主轉過身來，看彼得。彼得便想起主對他所說的話，今日雞叫以先，你要三次不認我。
And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. 
 
22:62 他就出去痛哭。
And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.
 
彼得在耶穌呼招他的時候就扔下魚網財產跟隨主，就在不久前,耶穌提到他將被出賣時,彼得還說:主阿，我就是同你下監，同你受死，也是甘心。

LUKE
22:33 彼得說，主阿，我就是同你下監，同你受死，也是甘心。
And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death. 
 
22:34 耶穌說，彼得，我告訴你，今日雞還沒有叫，你要三次說不認得我。
And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.

可是我們人就是這樣地軟弱,如彼得一樣,雖然全心全意要跟隨主,同下監,共受死也都情願.可是事到臨頭,卻是軟弱,做了不同的決定.多麽可悲.我們每天不都是這樣麽,這樣地犯錯,這樣地背離神.

但是他還是原諒了我們,如同他原諒了彼得.為了我們的軟弱和罪,竟讓他的獨生子這樣卑賤,慘痛地在十字架上流盡了他的血.而成就拯救我們的事.

羞愧,痛心,我們卻無法改變我們身上注定的原罪.

所以我們要從此向神,讓聖靈來支持引導我們,讓神來改變我們的本性,而活回我們原有的樣子.

Background information:

Tenebrae is the Latin word for Shadows. This service is a meditation on the evening before Good Friday when Jesus and his disciples stood in the shadow of the Cross.

The gradual extinguishing of hte candles after each reading is symbolic of th eadvancing darkness that came over Jesus with the flight of his disciples, the bitter hatred of his enemies, and the looming horror of death by crucifixion. After each reading there is a time of meditation with a musical interlude.

After teh opening hymn everyone shall observe the discipline of silence until he/she is outside the building.