人不求我勿助之——《智慧篇》七十

人不求我勿助之——《智慧篇》七十

 

Do Not Offer Help Unless Asked For—from Life's Wisdom

 

渾沌草

 

Deiform Celestial 

 

October 18, 2006

 

 

 

　　百分之九十防患於未然的預測和預備工作都是多餘的，是時間、精力和財力的浪費，百分之九十自願幫助他人的工作都是多餘的，有害的，是對道的安排的逆施。

 

Ninety percent of the efforts spent on predicting and preparing for potential hazards are unnecessary and result in a waste of time, energy, and resources. Similarly, ninety percent of voluntary efforts to help others are also unnecessary, harmful, and contrary to the natural order.

 

　　我說顛倒了嗎？

 

Have I got it backwards?

 

　　修的長城，用了多少？養百萬雄兵，造戰艦戰機無數，被用了多少？防止孩子出門上當受騙你說了多少語重心長的叮嚀和囑咐，有多少“真知灼見”用上了？為了防止配偶紅杏出牆你輾轉反側絞盡腦汁，你的心血有多少被用上了？你精心構思的場麵現實中發生的概率多大？每個人可以從自身經驗中總結統計，你為了防止某事而提前采取的措施和辦法百分之九十沒用。

 

Think about the Great Wall that was built — how much effort was expended on it? Maintaining a million-strong army, constructing countless warships and aircraft — how much of that was utilized? You've given numerous heartfelt warnings and advice to prevent your children from being deceived when they go out — how much of your "profound insights" have been put into practice? You've agonized and racked your brains over how to prevent your spouse from straying — how much of your efforts have been effective? What's the likelihood that the scenarios you meticulously plan for actually occur in reality? Everyone can reflect on their own experiences and conclude that ninety percent of the measures and methods taken beforehand to prevent something often end up being useless.

 

　　我為什麽強調“人不求我勿助之”呢？因為發現它百分之九十是自作多情，害人害己。

 

Why do I emphasize "don't help unless asked"? Because I've found that ninety percent of the time, it's meddling unnecessarily, harming both others and oneself.

 

　　首先我要問：你為什麽要幫助別人？別人不求你，你卻要幫助，你知道這裏有多少害嗎？

 

Firstly, I have to ask: why do you want to help others? If they don't ask for your help, but you insist on helping, do you realize how much harm this can cause?

 

　　一、強行給他人套上了情感債務。

 

1. It forcibly imposes emotional debt on others.

 

 

　　你幫助了別人，被人就得心存感激，就欠了你的情，“人情不是債，急時把鍋賣”，什麽時候當你有難時，他人就得全力以赴償還債務，即使砸鍋賣鐵，即使赴湯蹈火，也得還啊，今生能還了較好，若沒機會還，下輩子還得再來給你還債，你說你殘忍不？

 

When you help someone, they are expected to feel grateful, thus owing you an emotional debt. “Favors are not debts, but in times of need, one might sell even their cooking pot.” Whenever you face difficulties, others are obligated to repay this debt with all their might, even if it means selling their belongings or risking their lives. They must repay. It's better to repay in this lifetime; if they can't, they'll have to come back in the next life to repay you. Do you think this is not cruel?

 

　　二、強行讓他人背上了經濟債務。

 

2. It forces others into economic debt.

 

　　有一對夫妻，雖然日子過的有點緊巴，但小日子平安順利，日出日落，開心快樂，他們有個富裕朋友，看他們日子過的“窮酸”，就主動借給3萬元教他們如何倒賣買，從此這夫妻倆再也沒有過上一天平靜的日子，最後不僅沒富起來，朋友借的3萬元也幾乎全賠了進去，男的最後走上了犯罪道路，女的離婚後不知去向。

 

There was a married couple who, despite living modestly, were content and happy in their daily lives. They had a wealthy friend who, seeing their "poor" lifestyle, voluntarily lent them 30,000 yuan to teach them how to do business. From then on, this couple never experienced another peaceful day. In the end, not only did they fail to become wealthy, but they also almost lost all the 30,000 yuan borrowed from their friend. The husband eventually turned to a life of crime, and the wife disappeared after divorcing him.

 

　　一家六口，上有老，下有小，中年夫妻緊趕慢趕，才能勉強支撐著家，一天，75歲的老人突然不省人事，躺在家裏兩天後眼看著沒救了，這時親朋好友中出現了一個好人，他主動借給他們一萬元，並打電話叫縣醫院救護車來將老人拉到縣醫院搶救，人是搶救過來了，可整個地癱瘓了，一萬元不僅不夠支付醫院的治療費和住院費，還從其他親友處借了5千元，這家人現在這個日子怎麽過？

 

Consider a family of six, with elderly members and young children, struggling to make ends meet. One day, the 75-year-old elder suddenly becomes unconscious and, after lying at home for two days with no improvement, seems beyond help. At this critical moment, a Well-meaning person among their relatives and friends steps forward, lending them 10,000 yuan. He also calls the county hospital to send an ambulance to rush the elderly person to the hospital for treatment. Although the elderly person survives after being treated, they are left completely paralyzed. The 10,000 yuan borrowed is not only insufficient to cover the hospital treatment and hospitalization expenses but also prompts them to borrow another 5,000 yuan from other relatives and friends. How will this family manage their lives from now on?

 

　　有人喜歡給親朋好友送東西，送的東西90％不是人家急用的東西，或者說是人家根本就從來不想用的東西，按照常規來講，你是白送東西，不管有用沒用，起碼沒讓人家受損失，白給的不要白不要，其實不然，接受者虧大了，人家好心好意主動關心幫助送來了，不接受豈不是不識好歹了嗎？接受吧！暫時看來一切是白白地獲得的，其實都是一件件債務，各自心裏很明白那東西值多少錢，相互欠下了多少債，時候不到，一切風平浪靜，時候一到，趕緊還吧！當時沒什麽用的白白送的東西現在你得全折合成錢再買成其他東西還回去。

 

Some people like to give gifts to relatives and friends. Ninety percent of these gifts are often not urgently needed by the recipients, or sometimes they are things the recipients never wanted to use in the first place. By conventional standards, you might think you're giving something for free, whether it's useful or not, at least not causing any loss to the recipient and that you should not reject something given for free. But in reality, the recipient ends up at a loss. The giver's well-intentioned gesture of care and help results in the recipient losing out. Refusing the gift might seem ungrateful. So, you accept it! At first, it seems like you're getting something for nothing, but in reality, it's accumulating debt. Both parties know exactly how much the gift is worth and how much debt they owe each other. When the time hasn't come, everything seems calm. But when the time comes, this debt must be repaid, converting the initially "useless" gift into a financial burden that must be matched or repaid in kind.

 

　　三、阻斷了別人通過受苦受難償還債務的道路。

 

3. It cuts off the path for others to repay debts through suffering.

 

　　受苦受難不一定全是壞事，有些可能是為了使當事人明白某個道理，有些可能是為了讓當事人償還掉某個債務，總之，有因有果，有果有因，你若主動去幫助，等於延緩了他解脫的時間，本來是急性病，三天就好，但由於你的主動幫助，急性病變成了三十年也不易治好的慢性病了。

 

Not all suffering is necessarily a bad thing. Some suffering may be to help the person understand a certain truth, or it may be to allow the person to repay a debt. Everything happens for a reason; there is cause and effect. If you intervene and help someone without being asked, you may delay their path to liberation. Originally, it might have been an acute illness that could have been cured in three days, but because of your unsolicited help, it turned into a chronic illness that is difficult to cure even after thirty years.

 

　　四、攪擾了他人的計劃。

 

4.Disrupted others' plans.

 

　　老子為了拯救兒子，把兒子強行關進了柴房，好心的鄰居主動幫助將其兒子放了出來，結果兒子參與一起犯罪活動，蹲進了監牢

 

A father locked his son in a woodshed to save him, but a kind-hearted neighbor intervened and released the son. As a result, the son got involved in criminal activities and ended up in prison.

 

　　小學程度的小姑娘進城在一家餐館打工，憑著心靈手巧會很快學會做生意的技巧，將來離開此店結婚後就可以爭取自己開一家餐館，可就是有個好心人，看著姑娘美麗，覺得在飯店打工浪費身才，就主動幫助她找到了一個相對輕閑舒適的工作，那麽，以後呢？

 

A young girl with only primary school education moves to the city and starts working at a restaurant. With her quick learning and dexterity, she could easily pick up business skills, which would help her in the future to open her own restaurant after leaving her current job and getting married. However, there was a well-meaning person who, seeing the girl's beauty, felt that working in a restaurant was a waste of her talent. This person then helped her find a relatively easy and comfortable job. So, what happens next?

 

 

　　五、助長了人的虛榮心和苟且心。

 

5. Encourages vanity and complacency in people.

 

　　人人都會遇到困難，都會遇到過不去的火焰山，自己解決不了時，那就應該求助於人，可有些人他有虛榮心、自尊心，身上毛都沒有了，還想孔雀開屏，早他姑奶奶的不是處長了，還要擺出一付臭架子，對這樣的人，誰去主動幫助，誰實際上是害了此人，他永遠不會知道如何做人。

 

Everyone encounters difficulties and faces impassable mountains of fire at times. When unable to solve them alone, seeking help from others is appropriate. However, some individuals, with strong vanity and self-esteem, always want to display grandiosity. Even after they are no longer a director, they show off as if they are still in that position. For such individuals, anyone who attempts to help them may inadvertently harm them, yet they will never recognize the value of humility and genuine character.

 

　　六、助長了人的惰性。

 

6. Fostering Laziness

 

　　想想動物園的動物們，習慣了被人喂養，再回到野性的自然中，成活的概率會有多大？人家不求你，你主動幫助，他（她）若習慣了，就會有依賴的心理和意識，本來在關鍵時刻可以盡力一搏，從此發現自己具有的偉大潛力，但你一主動幫助，他（她）的潛力就永遠也沒有機會激發出來了，他（她）會永遠認為自己是窩囊廢，是醜小鴨。

 

Consider the animals in the zoo. They become accustomed to being fed by humans. What would their chances of survival be if they were returned to the wild? If someone doesn't ask for your help and you offer it voluntarily, they may become dependent. Initially, they could have exerted themselves during critical moments and discovered their own great potential. But once you step in to help, their potential may never get a chance to be unleashed. They will forever believe they are worthless, like the ugly duckling.

 

 

　　七、給自己心靈種下了隱患的種子。

 

7. Planting Seeds of Resentment in Yourself

 

　　主動幫助人都是在心情愉快，悲天憫人，關係融洽，因緣所迫等情況下發生的，但當時過境遷，自己的處境發生變化後，你主動幫助人的情景一幕幕會出現在腦海，你會掐著手指頭如數家珍般地梳理幫助過的人，當初是如何幫助的，幫助了些什麽，當你身處逆境險境時，你會期盼那些你幫助過的人們會主動來幫助你，若一旦不主動來幫助你，你心裏肯定會來氣，“哼！白眼狼！”“良心肯定讓狗吃了！”“不知圖報，畜生！”等等，你這不是自作自受嗎？

 

Voluntarily helping others usually happens when you are in a good mood, feeling empathetic, maintaining good relationships, or feeling compelled by circumstances However, as time passes and your own situation changes, memories of those instances where you helped others will replay in your mind. You might meticulously recall each person you've assisted, how you helped them, and what you did for them. When you find yourself in a difficult or dangerous situation, you might hope that those you’ve helped in the past will step forward to assist you. If they do not step up voluntarily, you might feel resentment in your heart, thinking, "Hmph! What ungrateful people!" or "They must have no conscience!" or "They're worse than animals for not repaying kindness!" Aren’t you planting resentment for yourself?

 

　　八、背離了天道。

 

8. Contradicting the Natural Order

 

　　天生天長，天長天滅，成住壞空，生發興衰都是天理天道，唯有明白了天道的人才能真正幫助他人，若不明白天理天道，我們所做的好事可能恰恰就是壞事，所做的善事可能恰恰就是惡事，就像當年在戰場上把希特勒從死亡中救出來的那個英國士兵，他所做的善事不就是惡事嗎？

 

The Tao governs birth, growth, and destruction. Formation, existence, disintegration, and emptiness, as well as arising and declining—all follow the principles of natural law. Only those who understand the laws of nature can truly help others. Without understanding these principles, our well-intentioned acts might ironically lead to harm, and our good deeds might ironically result in unintended consequences. Just like the British soldier who rescued Hitler from death on the battlefield, his act of kindness was seen as an evil deed in the grand scheme of history and morality.

 

　　你們看田野的花開得多燦爛，你們看天上的飛鳥飛的多自在，它們不需要我們自作多情去主動幫助，越幫越糟糕，相信上帝，相信天道吧，不要伸出多餘的手。

 

Look at how brightly the flowers bloom in the fields, look at how freely the birds fly in the sky. They don't need us to interfere or offer help unnecessarily. The more we intervene, the worse things may become. Have faith in the Greatest Creator, trust in the natural order. Refrain from extending a helping hand where it’s not needed.

 

　　我們有困難時一定要求助，“蜀道難，難於上青天”！求人難，難於上吊投河，但無論如何難，麵臨困境時有必要向人求助，如此，我們自己才能理解人生，也才能在他人遇到困境時會及時雪中送炭。

 

When we face difficulties, we must seek help. "The road to Shu is hard, harder than climbing to the sky!" Asking for help is difficult, harder than attempting extreme measures, but no matter how tough it is, it's essential to seek assistance when in trouble. By doing so, we not only understand life better ourselves but also can timely lend a helping hand to others when they face adversity.

 

　　“受人滴水之恩，當湧泉相報”，凡事盡量靠自己，要相信自己有無限的潛能，但必要時，要勇敢地向人求助，以後報答即可。

 

"Grateful for a drop of water received from others, one should repay with a gushing spring." Try to handle as much as possible on your own and believe in your unlimited potential. However, when necessary, bravely seek help from others, with the intention of repaying their kindness in the future.

 

　　凡規律，皆有例外的情況，若是生死之交，那就另當別論，“跳出三界外，不在五行中”，連生命都願意舍給他（她），還管什麽“人不求我勿助之”的俗論。

 

All rules have exceptions, especially when interacting with a life and death friend. In such critical situations, different considerations apply. "Jumping out of the three realms and not within the five elements," one might even be willing to sacrifice their own life for another. In such moments, conventional sayings like "do not offer help unless asked for" hold little relevance.

 

 

　　當有人來主動獻殷勤關心你的時候，提高警惕！當有人嘴裏說“我這都是為你好”的時候，提高警惕！當有人來主動幫助你的時候，你就想：“嗨！真倒黴！”

 

Be cautious when someone comes forward to offer excessive flattery and concern! When someone says, "I'm doing this for your own good," be cautious! When someone volunteers to help you, you should think, "Oh, what bad luck!"

 

再論“人不求我勿助之”——《智慧篇》七十  (續)

 

Further Discussion on “Do Not Offer Help Unless Asked for”

 

渾沌草

 

Hundun Celestial

 

January 3, 2007

 

　　天生天長，天生天滅，野地裏的花草有陽光雨露的滋潤，樹林中飛翔的鳥兒自有天賜的食物，非洲荒原上奔跑的野生動物自有繁衍生息的法則，人是天造自然物種之一，同樣也可以自行生長，因為一切在道中運行，自有道安排保護懲罰。

 

Born naturally, perish naturally. Wildflowers in the fields are nourished by sunlight and raindrops, birds in the forests find their own food, and wild animals running on the African plains follow their own rules for reproduction. Humans, as one of the natural species created by the Greatest Creator, can also grow on their own. Everything operates within the Tao (the consciousness of the Greatest Creator), which provides arrangements for protection and punishment.

 

　　從微觀上看，好像亂象紛呈，從宏觀上觀察，一切井然有序，因有序，科學家們才發現了規律，創造出了適合規律的公式，若無序，明天就不可能有一個太陽從東方升起。

 

From a microscopic perspective, it may seem chaotic, but from a macroscopic view, everything is orderly. It is this order that has allowed scientists to discover rules and create formulas that fit these rules. Without order, the sun would not rise from the east tomorrow.

 

　　人生是有軌跡的，若沒有軌跡，河流就會漫溢山野。生命遵循著因果律，否則，人人都會出生在帝王或富翁之家。蜜蜂王國中自有天造的分工，並不是所有蜜蜂都可以成蜂王。

 

Life has its trajectory; without it, rivers would overflow into the mountains and fields. Life follows the law of causality; otherwise, everyone would be born into royal or wealthy families. In the kingdom of bees, there is a natural division of labor; not all bees can become queen bees.

 

　　若無視程序，人再好心，也會顧此失彼，“天將降大任於斯人也，必先苦其心誌,勞其筋骨,餓其體膚,空乏其身,行拂亂其所為,所以動心忍性,曾益其所不能……”若哪位好心人從中橫插一杠子，必然擾亂其程序，所謂好心辦壞事。

 

If one ignores the process, even the most well-intentioned person can end up neglecting some aspects. As the saying goes, “When Heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man, it will exercise his mind with suffering, subject his sinews and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger, put him to poverty, place obstacles in the paths of his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve wherever he is incompetent.” If a well-intentioned person interferes in this process, it will inevitably disrupt it, thus leading to a situation where good intentions result in bad outcomes.

 

　　有一隻老鷹追趕一隻兔子，請問，你救還是不救？你把兔子救了，老鷹咋辦？老鷹窩巢裏有十幾隻小鷹在嗷嗷待哺，若老鷹逮不到兔子，那十幾隻小鷹將會餓死，一隻兔子和十幾隻小鷹比較，誰重誰輕？

 

Suppose there is an eagle chasing a rabbit. Would you save it or not? If you save the rabbit, what would happen to the eagle? In the eagle’s nest, there are over a dozen eaglets waiting to be fed. If the eagle cannot catch the rabbit, those eaglets will starve. Compared to one rabbit, which is more important: the rabbit or the eaglets?

 

　　某地豺狼成群，禍害當地生靈，普通狗根本不是野狼的對手，為了培養對付野狼的狗，人們把一窩小狗圈起來，餓極的狗就開始自相殘殺，最終剩下的那條狗就成了野狼的天敵對手，從此，野狼就難以逞凶了。你若發善心不讓那些小狗自相殘殺，從而訓練出威猛凶暴的狗，你將如何對付那些野狼？

 

In a certain place, packs of jackals are causing havoc to local creatures. Ordinary dogs are no match for wild wolves. To develop dogs capable of facing wild wolves, people fence in a litter of puppies. When the dogs become extremely hungry, they start to fight among themselves. Eventually, the last surviving dog becomes a formidable opponent to the wolves, who then find it difficult to be aggressive. If you show kindness and prevent the puppies from fighting each other, thus training them to be fierce and aggressive dogs, how will you deal with those wild wolves?

 

　　某人上一輩子作惡多端，這一輩子就讓他吃盡苦頭償還前世孽債，這是天道的善心，你若時時去幫助，不讓他吃苦，他的債務就難以還清，就會繼續在人間輪回，或許又將造下無量孽債，請問，你是在做好事，還是辦壞事？

 

A person who committed numerous wrongdoings in their previous life is now experiencing all sorts of hardships to repay past karmic debts. This is the compassionate nature of the heavenly law. If you constantly help them and prevent them from suffering, their debts will be difficult to settle, and they may continue to reincarnate in the human world, potentially accumulating boundless karmic debts again. Tell me, are you doing a good deed or a bad deed?

 

　　某人來到街市匆忙購買東西，卻被一夥無賴糾纏而不得脫身，結果耽誤了乘船，此船在海上航行幾小時後被風浪打翻，船上乘客全部遇難。若你發善心，把無賴全部趕跑，然後開車把那人送上船，結果呢？

 

A person hurried to the market to buy things but got entangled by a gang of ruffians, unable to escape. This delay caused him to miss boarding a ship. Hours later, the ship capsized in a storm at sea, and all passengers aboard perished. If you, out of compassion, chased away the ruffians and then drove the person to catch the ship, what would be the outcome?

 

　　當我講“人不求我勿助之”的時候，是考慮到了程序的運行，這是大德之德，修行修煉若不講大德，處處顯示自己的小德，就是與程序搗亂。

 

When I speak of "do not offer help unless asked for," I consider the flow of procedures. This adheres to the virtue of great benevolence in cultivation and practice. If one constantly displays their small virtues and disrupts the procedures, it contrasts with the principle of great benevolence.

 

　　“人不求我勿助之”但人若求我，就應當盡力助之，助到什麽程度，完全取決於當下的情景。

 

 

However, "do not offer help unless asked for" also implies that if someone does ask for help, one should do their utmost to assist, to the extent dictated by the current circumstances.

 

　　某人駕車出了車禍，壓在車下爬不出來，助，還是不助？我想，我們還是聽憑自己心靈的驅動，若你聽到了他求助的聲音，那麽，就奮不顧身去救他，若你聽不到，在這特殊情況下，自己把握權衡。他為什麽會出車禍？

 

If someone gets into a car accident and is trapped under the car, should you help or not? I think we should listen to the drive of our own hearts. If you hear their cry for help, then you should bravely rush to their rescue. If you didn’t hear it, in this special situation, you have to decide for yourself. Why did he have an accident?

 

　　當我們譴責他人見死不救的時候，問問這是為什麽？我們自己能做到“見死就救”嗎？每天有多少生命在死亡，你救了嗎？你救出來了又能怎樣？你能解決他麵臨的所有苦惱嗎？你能保證救活了他，就能讓他過上快樂幸福的生活嗎？多少人是生不如死啊！

 

When we condemn others for not helping in life-threatening situations, we should ask why. Can we ourselves always "help when we see someone in danger"? How many lives are lost every day? Have you saved any? And if you did save someone, what then? Can you solve all their troubles? Can you guarantee that saving them will lead to a happy and fulfilled life for them? For many people, survival is worse than death!

 

　　為非洲饑民捐款救助，這是慈善行為，值得提倡，但非洲為什麽有那麽多饑民？難道缺乏陽光？缺乏資源？你讓他們吃飽了今天，明天咋辦？吃飽了今年，明年咋辦？施舍一條魚還不如給他們釣魚工具。

 

Donating to aid African famine victims is a charitable act worthy of promotion, but why are there so many famine victims in Africa? Is it because of lack of sunlight? Lack of resources? If you feed them today, what about tomorrow? If you feed them this year, what about next year? Giving them fishing tools would be better than giving them a fish.

 

　　有人說，人不求我也要助之，好啊！那你就助吧！多少少年上不起學，請你去助，多少老人疾病纏身，請你去助，多少人的家庭在分崩離析，請你去助，多少人在遭受著精神和心靈的虐待，請你去助，多少人吃的飯比你粗糙，住的比你簡陋，穿的比你寒磣……請你去助。

 

Some people say, ‘Even if people do not ask for help, I will still assist them.’ Sure! Then go ahead and help! How many young people cannot afford to go to school? Please go and help them. How many elderly people are plagued by illness? Please go and help them. How many families are falling apart? Please go and help them. How many people are suffering from mental and emotional abuse? Please go and help them. How many people eat rougher meals, live in simpler conditions, and dress more humbly than you? Please go and help them.

 

　　這個社會，唱高調的人總是比做善事的人多，隻要每個人自己不做壞事，不給別人和社會添麻煩，他人求了就能助之，就燒高香了。（請參讀《人不求我勿助之》——《智慧篇》七十）

 

In this society, there are always more people who talk big than those who actually do good deeds. As long as each person refrains from doing wrong and causing trouble for others and society, they should help when asked, and that would be a great thing. (Please read the similar article "Do Not Offer Help Unless Asked For")