《老同學聚會“13點”公約 》（ A Goofy Convention for Schoolmate Reunion)

老同學聚會“13點”公約

A Goofy Convention for Schoolmate Reunion

 

“忽如一夜春風來，千樹萬樹梨花開”。親愛的同學們，在飄雪的冬季，在畢業x周年之際，我們都盼望著重逢的驚喜與歡愉。為了保證聚會的愉快和睦，特誠摯提出以下建議：

“As though the snow is brought by the overnight wind in the spring.  It’s like thousands upon thousands of pear trees blooming.” Dear friends, in this snowing winter, after x years since graduation, we all look forward to the joys of reunion. To ensure the pleasant and harmonious atmosphere of the gathering, I sincerely propose the following suggestions:

 

1. 相互尊重為第一要旨。聚會中不存在行政級別高低。平日居廟堂之高者應表現虛懷若穀之氣度，處江湖之遠者宜展示超塵脫俗之風骨。

Mutual respect is the top priority. There is no hierarchy in the gathering. Those who are usually in top positions should show a humble attitude, and those who are usually far from high chamber should display an otherworldly demeanor.

2. 禁止對老同學的外貌、著裝、發型、化妝、發色、禿頂、皺紋、腰圍、胸圍、臀圍、身高、體重、視力、行走姿勢等身體特征進行惡意評論或譏諷。

Malicious comments or mockery regarding the physical characteristics of old schoolmates, such as appearance, clothing, hairstyle, makeup, hair color, baldness, wrinkles, waist circumference, chest circumference, hip circumference, height, weight, vision, walking posture, etc., are strictly prohibited.

3. 請勿攀比財產。尺有所短，寸有所長。腰纏萬貫者或感念物質豐富之愜意，兩袖清風者可享受精神富有之充實。

Do not compare wealth. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Those with wealth may appreciate the comfort of material abundance, while those with a simple life can enjoy the richness of the spirit.

4. 歡迎配偶一同前往。不要求原裝，但須明婚正配。小三、二奶、甜爹、小秘、鮮肉等不在本聚會展示之列。

Spouses are welcome to attend. Originality is not required, but serious relation must be clear. Mistresses, sugar daddies, secret lovers, young hunks, etc., are not included in the display of this gathering.

5. 不得攀比配偶和子女。但其中如有擔任國家元首、政府首腦、聯合國秘書長，或榮獲諾貝爾獎、奧斯卡獎等，則不在禁止之列。大家舉杯同慶，共享殊榮。

Do not compare spouses and children. However, if anyone of them has served as a head of state, government leader, UN Secretary-General, or has won Nobel Prize, Oscar, etc., they are not subject to the prohibition. Let's raise our glasses to celebrate together and share the honor.

6. 歡迎公開當年暗戀、欽慕之情。建議在公開場合以輕鬆、幽默、超脫之方式娓娓道來。禁止一對一深情傾述。

Openly express past crushes and admiration is welcome. It is recommended to narrate in a light, humorous, and detached manner in public. One-on-one deep confessions are strictly prohibited.

7. 切勿翻老賬、續舊仇。過去的情敵、政敵等今已不複存在。 不論是感情糾葛、競爭恩怨、財物糾紛，還是性格相悖、話不投機，如今均一筆勾銷。

Do not bring up old grudges or continue past conflicts. Past rivals, political enemies, etc., no longer exist. Whether it's emotional entanglements, competition grievances, property disputes, or personality conflicts, they are all now settled.

8. 房中術、斂財術、摸魚術、馭人術、厚黑術，以及愛情攻略、撩人技巧、夜夜新郎的感受等，不是本聚會之主要議題。

Techniques in the bedroom, wealth accumulation, slacking off, manipulating people, thick-and-dark arts, as well as love strategies, flirting techniques, and the experiences of new-girlfriend-weekly are not the main topics of this gathering.

9. 在探討政治製度、風俗習慣、宗教信仰等問題時，請注意求同存異，遵守和平共處N項原則。

When discussing political systems, customs, religious beliefs, etc., please seek common ground while respecting differences,  and please adhere to N principles of peaceful coexistence.

10. 請尊重母校，勿諷刺、挖苦、謾罵老師，勿惡意模仿其語調、口音、手勢、外貌和行為特征。

Please respect our alma mater. Do not mock, ridicule, or insult old teachers. Do not maliciously imitate their tone, accent, gestures, appearance, and behavior.

11. 歡迎展示個人絕技，但禁止以少林拳，南拳，北拳，柔道，空手道，跆拳道，散打，拳擊，泰拳、摔跤、相撲等形式挑戰或比武。

Displaying personal skills is welcome, but challenging or competing in the forms of Shaolin Kung Fu, Southern Fist, Northern Fist, Judo, Karate, Taekwondo, Sanda, Boxing, Muay Thai, Wrestling, Sumo, etc., is strictly prohibited.

12. 吸煙請一律到室外。飲酒請注意分寸。小飲怡情，大飲傷身，強飲灰飛煙滅。

Smoking is strictly limited to outdoors. Please drink alcohol in moderation. A little drinking is enjoyable, and excessive drinking harms the body. If you are shit-faced, you are dead!

13. 聚會費用以平均分攤為基本原則，但請勿斤斤計較至人民幣1元以下。

The gathering expenses are based on the principle of equal sharing, but please do not nitpick amounts below ￥1.

【Manually edited from ChapGPT translation.】