暖冬cool夏
這裏一年四季溫暖如春，沒有酷暑沒有嚴寒......
女兒今年三月搬去紐約，成為了一名New Yorker。雖說搬遷之前她去過紐約很多次，但如今身份不同了，感受自然也不同。
某人三月初去紐約幫女兒搬家，回來後跟我說，紐約有什麽好，又擠又髒又貴，冬天又冷，想不明白為什麽年輕人都想往那裏跑。就像他自己當年並沒有那麽喜歡北京一樣，生活嘛，不如加州不如杭州，既熱鬧又安靜，既modern又有history。我回應說，我們老了，落伍了，紐約一定有它的魅力所在。
一個多月後，當某人在電話裏問女兒，“。。。那Overall, so far, is New York below or above your expectation? 女兒沒有猶豫地回答道的， “above expectation“.
然後她說起了這一個多月裏的認知和所見所聞：
- “紐約的Met是免費對紐約人開放的。”
- “MoMA第一年送麵值$110的會員卡，第二年收50%，每個周五免費，但是要提前預約。”
- “紐約的畫畫課老師水平更高，辦班曆史悠久，要求的也不同，畫油畫不讓用鉛筆打底稿。今天（4/17）是我第一次畫 still live model“
- “紐約有錢人多,也處處可見討生活的窮人。城市也髒，像Chinatown。不能理解的是，大家在抱怨城市髒的同時，又不想努力改變現狀。”
- “我常常在公寓附近看見從非洲來的黑人推著嬰兒車在大街上走，嬰兒車裏坐的是白人的小孩。”
- “Canal Street附近會看見黑人在兜售廉價物品，有些是中國產的東西。然後看見城管來了會拖著大包小包拚命跑。”
- “有時還看到長長的救濟隊伍，隊伍裏不乏年長的亞洲麵孔/中國麵孔的老人。他們的孩子難道不管他們父母的衣食溫飽？”
- “我以前公司的白人同事，費勁周折，等六個月，從人手裏買Chanel的A貨包包，說那上麵的皮是Chanel的真皮。”
- “紐約人不喜歡大家搬遷到他們這座城市，人流的湧入隻會讓這座城市更擁擠，房租更貴。以前在西雅圖住，西雅圖人不喜歡加州人搬遷到西雅圖，現在看來紐約人也不喜歡，據說他們尤其不喜歡中西部的人（midwesterners)，對加州來的人稍微友好一些。
- “那是因為加州有高科技有矽穀有new money?” 我笑著問，腦海裏立刻想起九十年代的上海、廣州、深圳。。。
- “紐約這座城市就像上海，繁華現代。前兩天（四月中）的氣溫高達80多度，讓人想起北京、上海的夏天。”
- “紐約也有做批發的，讓我想起去年去廣州時看到的繁忙的批發市場。”
- “媽媽你知道bridge and tunnel這個表達嗎？你去查查。簡單的說就是，紐約城市中心每天會迎來從各方穿越bridge and tunnel趕來上班的人。紐約人把他們稱之為bridge and tunnel people
聽到這裏，我心裏很高興自己帶她去過北京上海廣州這幾座城市，讓她今天能有這樣的比較和延伸（relay）。她不知道的是，城管驅趕無證小販的行為在九十年代的中國很常見。她也不會知道當年上海人稱所有上海之外的中國人為“鄉下人”，浦西的看不起浦東的，“上隻角”的可能看不起“下隻角”的（不知道有沒有下隻角：），就像紐約人coin了bridge and tunnel這樣的表達一樣，人與人生而平等又不平等，中西文化看似不同，又因著相同的人性相通。
想起她剛到紐約時的迷茫，問自己為什麽要來紐約，短短一個多月，一句“above the expectation“已經說明了其中的轉變，還有她臉上散發著平日裏不常見的光亮和平和，也讓電話另一頭的我寬慰不少。
她其實也是某種程度上的“北漂”，中國八九十年代去北京闖蕩的那批人。
時代不同了，一代人與另一代人的命運不同又相同。想起自己，不也是離家最後漂到美利堅了嗎？或許有一日我會葉落歸根，但是我慶幸我這棵樹接受了異域四季的陽光，變得高大，看見了更遼闊的風景，也希望女兒未來的路越走越寬，希望紐約、世界會一直處在above and beyond her expectation的狀態裏。
看著她滔滔不絕，我提了一句，“你可以把紐約的所見所聞寫日記一樣記下來。”
“媽媽，你先寫。”
女兒知道我有博客，那一刻我也慶幸自己可以身體力行，也因此寫下這些對話，希望有朝一日她能自己提起筆，寫紐約。
越劇《天上掉下個林妹妹》
寶玉試讀
紅樓夢引子：
女兒拍的兩張照片，中央公園的櫻花。白玉蘭。
J becomes a New Yorker since her move in March, a city that draws young people. As expected, the apartment she moved in is small, old and expensive. The creaky wood floor even slanted a bit that table legs on one side needs a cushion to stay balanced. The building is said to be built in 1900s, with no elevator but a narrow corridor with stairs. A metal emergency stairs zigzag outside.
When J arrived on the first day of March, it was still freezingly cold winter. But the room temperature inside the building however was set around 76F, centrally controlled by the building, in compliance with the city's regulations. J had to leave the window open, even at night, to moderate the heat.
Then she caught a cold and was sick for weeks.
On Aril 17, during a phone conversation with J, she told us that the temperature in the last few days shot up to 80s, reminding her of Shanghai's sultry summer. It lasted for three days before a thunderous rain cooled it down.
J was leaning on her bed, her eyes glistening, her face glowing under the light, and her mouth flowing out her recent explorations of the city. She said she just got off from the art classes (she took two nightly art classes per week and planned to reduce to one when summer comes.), passing streets that are still thronged with people at 10 pm. She seemed to be in good mood, and that quickly spread over to me at the other end of the phone.
she babbles on with more of her discoveries while we were having late dinner in the west coast.
-- In her rich neighborhood area, she saw African nannies frequent around with white babies in the baby strollers.
-- Flushing is almost on the edge of NY, and there are lots of Chinese there.
-- Chinatown is just another dirty place, as dirty as New York looks, if not dirtier.
-- The line queued up for food distribution is long and slow. Among them, some Asian elders were patiently waiting in the cold. Why their offspring, who must have thrived, do not support them. Some Cantonese cannot speak English, like what she met in Hongkong last November. How could they survive, not speaking the language?
-- Her prior co-worker purchased a high-end fake Chanel bag from a vendor on Canal Street. She waited for more than six months before, going through various venues to avoid the customs.
-- MoMA gives out the first year admission free with a value of $110. Afterwards, you get 50% discount for annual admission.
-- Met is free to all New Yorkers.
-- The weather there is similar to Beijing, but citywise, it is more like Shanghai and Guangzhou, modern and vibrant.
-- New Yorkers don't actually welcome movers from other states. "It's already very crowded here, and more immigrants will only push the rent higher."
-- New Yorkers don't like mid-westerners. But CA people are on a better receiving end.
Hearing this, I quipped. "Is it because CA has more 'new' money? I then went on with a brief stories of how people in Shanghai, after the skyrocketing development in the South in 1980s-90s, were challenged and how their egos were eclipsed by richer Cantonese, as well as Shenzhen, China's silicon valley, which leapfrogged to the front." She nodded. Our last November's visits of the three cities are still fresh, and the bustling streets in Guangzhou impressed her the most.
"Mom, do you know the expression of 'bridge and tunnel'?" When my response was negative, she pull off
"You should write them down in journals, and one day you may write a book about New York." said I.
"I should." She winks at the idea. "You can write them down in your blog, Mom."
Edited by ChatGPT:
J became a New Yorker after her move in March—a city that naturally draws young people. As expected, the apartment she moved into is small, old, and expensive. The wooden floor creaks and even slopes slightly; one leg of her table needs a cushion underneath just to stay level. The building dates back to the early 1900s. There is no elevator, only a narrow corridor with stairs, and a metal fire escape zigzagging down the outside.
When J arrived on the first day of March, it was still bitterly cold. Yet inside, the building’s centrally controlled heating kept the temperature around 76°F, in compliance with city regulations. She had to leave the window open—even at night—to make the room bearable.
Then she caught a cold and was sick for weeks.
On April 17, during a phone call, J told us that temperatures had suddenly climbed into the 80s over the past few days, reminding her of Shanghai’s sultry summers. The heat lasted three days before a thunderstorm finally cooled the city down.
She was leaning against her bed as we spoke, her eyes glistening and her face softly lit. Her voice carried an easy excitement as she shared her latest discoveries. She had just come back from one of her evening art classes—she takes two each week but plans to cut back to one when summer arrives. Even at 10 p.m., the streets were still crowded with people. Her good mood traveled effortlessly through the phone and lifted ours as we sat down to a late dinner.
She went on, sharing more of what she had noticed:
— In her affluent neighborhood, she often sees African nannies pushing white babies in strollers.
— Flushing feels like the edge of New York, with a large Chinese community.
— Chinatown, she says, is just another gritty part of the city—perhaps even dirtier than the rest.
— She saw long, slow-moving lines for food distribution. Among those waiting were elderly Asians, standing patiently in the cold. She wondered why their children—who must have found success—were not supporting them. Some Cantonese speakers she encountered could not speak English, much like people she met in Hong Kong last November. How do they manage daily life without the language?
— A former coworker bought a high-end fake Chanel bag from a vendor on Canal Street, waiting more than six months and navigating various channels to avoid customs.
— MoMA offers free admission for the first year (a $110 value), followed by a 50% discount on annual membership.
— The Met is free for New York residents.
— The weather reminds her of Beijing, but the city itself feels closer to Shanghai or Guangzhou—modern, energetic, and constantly in motion.
— She’s heard that New Yorkers don’t particularly welcome newcomers from other states: “It’s already crowded, and more people just drive rents higher.”
— Midwesterners, she says, are not especially favored, while Californians receive a warmer reception.
Hearing this, I joked, “Is it because California has more ‘new money’?” I went on to tell her how, in Shanghai, people once felt overshadowed by the rapid rise of southern cities in the 1980s and 1990s—how wealth in Guangdong reshaped social dynamics, and how Shenzhen leapfrogged ahead as China’s Silicon Valley. She agreed; our visit last November to those three cities was still fresh in our minds, especially the vibrant streets of Guangzhou, which had impressed her the most.
“Mom, do you know the expression ‘bridge and tunnel’?” she asked.
I admitted I didn’t, and she began to explain.
“You should write these things down,” I said. “One day, you could turn them into a book about New York.”
“I should,” she replied with a playful wink. “Or you can write them in your blog, Mom.”
一直在說瀟瀟是唱黛玉的最佳人選，你一定能唱出吳語的軟糯，而且你音高，不會像我唱得有點費勁：）期待瀟瀟的分享，分享紐約之行，分享“林妹妹”！提前祝瀟瀟生日快樂！五月快樂！
上海一直有“下隻角”的，租界外地區基本都是下隻角。現在可能沒有了。
暖冬唱的賈寶玉太瀟灑了！
人生，當你有見識，看到的越多，越廣，思維的局限就越小，更容易包容與理解，這就是我們年輕時所追求的“見世麵”哈
孩子們闖蕩大世界，適應新天地，值得欣慰。
母女對話很溫馨。
你說的問題或許帶有普遍性，一種可能是這些老人以前苦，節約慣了，加上愛占小便宜，導致他們這麽做。但是如果穿名牌背名牌包包再去領福利就過分了，但願他們的下一代會提醒他們，能有所改進。
謝謝淡然的留言，你的總結高度高！周末快樂！
菲兒的女兒一畢業就去了紐約，應該對紐約了解更多更深，願我們的女兒都能喜歡紐約、找到自己的位置，活出更好的自己！法拉盛我2023年聖誕去過，大街上吆喝聲、擺攤的人真熱鬧，讓我頓時感覺回到國內了：）不過餐飲這些倒是好吃又便宜。謝謝菲兒的臨帖，剛回來一定很累吧，你好好休息吧。周末快樂！
＂有時還看到長長的救濟隊伍，隊伍裏不乏年長的亞洲麵孔/中國麵孔的老人。他們的孩子難道不管他們父母的衣食溫飽？”，這一段我也深有感觸。我上班附近有兩個慈善機構，中午出去散步常常看見領救濟的隊伍，八、九成都是亞洲麵孔的老人，聽口音就是中文。他們彼此都認識，一邊排隊一邊聊天，穿著幹幹淨淨，甚至還有穿名牌，背名牌包的。可他們就在那兒，等著領一份免費午餐，或許不止一份，因為他們背包又拎包，或推著買菜的小車。我每次路過也在想：他們的孩子知道嗎？是不管，還是管不了？還是老人們自己想占便宜？這個問題我沒有答案，但每次看見心裏都像被什麽東西輕輕硌了一下。
同祝賀暖冬開博十周年，我也過十年了，很喜歡讀暖冬的文，總是頗有同感和收獲，很高興我們一起能在文城同行。
好巧，我們也才去了中央公園。紐約是個年輕人追夢的地方，恭喜暖冬的女兒！
不過這次在法拉盛，真是有點吃驚，感覺有點亂，人多，雜。像回到了中國，又有點不像。比我們前幾年在紐約看到，好像有點不太一樣，也或許是自己變了。：）
問好等等和所有的朋友們！
紐約是一個很獨特的城市，我認為，她是美國唯一稱得上大都會，完全可以依賴公交的城市，值得在那裏生活體驗一段，尤其是對年輕人。祝福冬妹妹的好女兒，期待更多精彩的分享。
是啊，我一直是支持孩子走自己的路，雖然從心底裏，我希望她不要離得太遠，但是這是她自己的人生，自己的路，我們尊重她的選擇，也覺得她的決定是對的。
雁蕩山我小時候去過，現在幾乎是沒有什麽印象了，也希望自己以後退休後有更多的時間可以在國內到處看看走走。 江南的春天特別綠特別潤，希望我們以後都會有很多機會享受春天的美好！
再謝等等！祝周末快樂，五月快樂！
紐約真是一個年輕人最愛的地方，雖然我感覺平平，但很可能是因為我沒有居住在那裏，畢竟常住居民和過客的心情及體驗是很不同的，對年輕人來說，紐約可能就是一個年輕時必須去拚去生活去感悟的朝聖之地，就如同曾經的我們，總想著要去一個更廣闊的地方大展拳腳實現夢想一樣，這樣的夢想是眾多立誌要闖蕩一番的年輕人都向往的，你女兒的選擇是對的。
我把你這三篇文放到一起歪樓了，看到你拍的雁蕩山照片，挑一個春天回去看看，到處春意盎然花團錦簇，雁蕩山更是明麗秀美，不然琅琊榜怎會在那裏取出仙境一般的景致。暖冬的歌配上這秀麗山水，美不勝收。
謝謝你的同感和input！阿立周末快樂！
我在美語論壇裏就提到當年紅極一時的《北京人在紐約》，“如果你愛/恨一個人，送他去紐約：），看來紐約真是招人愛招人恨的地方。我不知道自己會不會一直寫下去，那要看J會不會一直有材料提供。希望吧，如果能通過她那雙fresh eyes看紐約，真是可以多寫。希望借此母女之間有更多的交流。
你還幾度病怏，趕緊抱抱Oncemm! 馬上五月了，記得你的“五月天”，你筆下的Hudson河，願Oncemm垂目間，春暖花開！提前祝五月好！再祝安康吉祥！
Emmy 好像兩邊都可以，但是不管在哪邊，都是喜歡大城市 ：）
紐約啊紐約，大概也是讓人或愛、或恨，就像高爾夫：You either love it, or hate it.
米國佬如此評價紐約：
If you love someone, send him to New York. If you hate someone, send him to New York.
頗有點哲理的玩笑話？ :-)))
我大概也像暖冬描述的“某人”：紐約有什麽好？。。。不如加州不如杭州 :-))))))
今天（4/17）是我第一次畫 still live model____
哇塞，女兒開始了學習繪畫的新階段了！看來女兒的這個愛好將成為她在紐約新生活的另一個充滿激情活力的窗口！也非常期待暖兒展示女兒的新畫作。
+1 熱愛自己居住的城市的人是幸福的， 祝J在紐約早一日找到家的感覺。
也順便問蘑菇好。