生命的挽歌-9

2017/7/15

今天，去送老師最後一程。

走近棺木，看老師最後一眼。

他安靜地躺著，麵目安詳；手上有一串珠木。

隻是沒了生命的氣息。

這是在病房裏老師跟我探討了無數次的死亡嗎？

有點恍惚。

這雙手，在兩個星期前還曾握過，還暖和和的。

在一個月前，這雙手還撫摸著書稿，跟我講他的《宗教藝術》第三冊出版事宜。

我曆曆在目我們的每次交談，就象他清清楚楚記得我們之間的每次對話。電影藝術是我們的共同話題。

難道生命就這樣說沒有就沒有了嗎？！

我無法接受，也無法感受；痛苦似乎還在遙遠的地方，等待著我的驀然回首。

我堅持地看著他的棺木葬下的時刻，體驗著他所說的決絕與死亡。

在教堂葬禮舉行時，我常常盯著窗外搖曳的樹枝；在墓地，我專注著天上漂浮的雲彩，遠處成片的樹林，和身旁陣陣的微風。

當生命失去的時候，當我被死亡拋棄和割裂的時候，永恒成為哭泣的安慰。

Dante's The Divine Comedy

There's so much more to say. Not now, perhaps.
I can't go further speaking the sad truth,
For see, a new cloud rises from the sand:
People I mustn't meetwill soo arrive.
My book, called Treasure, is at your command:
"Read it. I ask no more. There, I'm alive."

He turned then, and he ran like one of those
Who in Verona's field race for the prize
Of green cloth. Like the first, the last man knows
He, too, will be marked out before all eyes.
But this one ran as if the race were his
To win, not lose. As his life was, and is.

(Translated by Clive James, Canto 15, in Brunetto Latini’s farview speech to his beloved student - Dante.)