舒適區裏太愜意了。。。

偶爾走出去自然會有意外。。。

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion 

通常我會避開這類書。哪類呢？這是goodreads 網上關於這本書的簡介：

From one of America's iconic writers, a stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Joan Didion explores an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage–and a life, in good times and bad–that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child.

Several days before Christmas 2003, John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion saw their only daughter, Quintana, fall ill with what seemed at first flu, then pneumonia, then complete septic shock. She was put into an induced coma and placed on life support. Days later–the night before New Year's Eve–the Dunnes were just sitting down to dinner after visiting the hospital when John Gregory Dunne suffered a massive and fatal coronary. In a second, this close, symbiotic partnership of forty years was over. Four weeks later, their daughter pulled through. Two months after that, arriving at LAX, she collapsed and underwent six hours of brain surgery at UCLA Medical Center to relieve a massive hematoma.

This powerful book is Didion's attempt to make sense of the "weeks and then months that cut loose any fixed idea I ever had about death, about illness . . . about marriage and children and memory . . . about the shallowness of sanity, about life itself."

 

借來這本書隻是因為微信短視頻裏一個我喜歡的播主推薦這書的作者。。圖書館裏她的這本書可以立馬借到。。。坦白地說，開始的一個多小時，是在夜裏作為催眠聽過的。大部分內容都在夢中左耳進右耳出了。但是有些段落還是把我觸動到了，於是就聽完了後來的部分，然後再從頭開始。。。

也許因為她”高大上“的生活方式給我的距離感吧，不容易代入。但是她的筆觸太細膩，太真實。。。不同世界的她和我，也終究都是人。聽著她的書時，常常會想起Debbie，她經曆了怎樣的grief？！我記得，那第一個晚上，從醫院出來，她執意回自己家，我們陪她回去，給孩子們打電話，聽著電話裏他們的失聲痛哭。但後來她拒絕讓我陪她過夜。。。。

如果早一點聽到這本書，對Debbie，我會不會多些理解，多些照顧？不知道。

還是很喜歡這本書，雖然現實，也有些過於沉重。人其實很有意思，包裝成什麽還在其次。能看到人的內心活動，很難得。能把自己剖析得清楚，應該也是grief的一個過程，更是作者的功力。。。