Anger vs Drama by David Richo 轉載

Anger vs. Drama

David Richo, in his book, How to Be an Adult, does a beautiful job of describing the difference between drama and real anger.

最主要的區別是對自己的feeling 負責。這是自尊自愛。當我們學會對自己負責, 才能改變生活。否則隻是feeling 的奴隸。feeling 又是環境他人造成的。即使暫時解決, 卻難以也做自己的主。

 

Drama	True Anger
Scares the hearer	Informs the hearer and creates attention in the hearer
Is meant to silence the other	Is meant to communicate with the other
Masks the dashed expectation or fear of not being in control with a false sense of control	Contains sadness or disappointment and these are acknowledged
Blames the other for what one feels	Takes responsibility for the feeling as one's own
Is a strategy that masks a demand that the other change	Asks for change but allows the other to change or not
Is violent, aggressive, out of control, derisive, punitive	Is nonviolent, always in control and within safe limits
Represses the true feeling	Expresses an assertive response
Occludes other feelings	Coexists with other feelings
Creates stress because one's bruised, scared ego is impotently enraged	Releases the aliveness in one's true self
Is held on to and endures as resentment	Is brief and then let go of with a sense of closure
Insists the other see how justified one is	Needs no response
Drama is a belligerent reaction to rejection that punishes by further distancing	Anger is an intimate response to rejection that bridges the distance or allows it without long-held resentment
Drama is based on indignation that one was not treated with the love and loyalty one unconsciously believe one is entitled to	Anger is based on displeasure at what happened but with consciousness that this feeling is based on a subjective interpretation