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曠野裏麵最大的問題是什麽?沒有水、沒有糧!我們心靈的曠野,也是一樣。
文/張路加
“你幸福嗎?”這是前些年流行的一個問題,央視曾派很多記者到街頭巷尾就此做采訪。
我們幸福嗎?
對此,網上倒是有一段“神”回答:
問:你幸福麽?答:我姓福啊!
問:你滿足麽?答:我滿族啊!
問:你為什麽幸福呢?答:因為我爸姓福啊!
問:為什麽你爸幸福,你就幸福呢?答:因為我是我爸親生的啊!
這當然是中國式的幽默。不過,從一個側麵也反映出,要回答這個問題不那麽容易。其實,我們每個人都大可問自己:“我幸福嗎?”或許大部分時候,答案也不那麽肯定。那麽,為什麽我們幸福不起來,快樂不起來?哪裏出了問題?
一方麵,現在許多人感覺錢比以前多了,住的房子也大了,買上車了,也很容易拿個護照出國旅遊了;但另一方麵,許多人卻覺得,和以前相比,幸福感並沒怎麽提升。
數字不會說謊,每年一度的聯合國“幸福指數調查”,中國在一百多個國家中,始終徘徊在八、九十名開外,似乎也印證著,“幸福度”和國民生產總值(GDP)之間沒有必然的正比關係,而坊間到處聽見的“鬱悶、糾結、寂寞、崩潰”這些詞匯,則從另一個側麵反映出,“幸福”遠不是我們想象的那麽容易獲得。
從2014年馬航MH370號航班的莫名失蹤起,“失聯”這個詞就不斷出現在各種媒體上。其實,我們現在的心靈狀態,用“失聯”來描述也非常貼切。我們的心靈世界,好像身處曠野、沙漠裏麵——我們感覺失聯了。多少時候,我們感覺找不到路,找不到光,找不到那個信號。
哪裏出了問題?怎麽能夠真正走出心靈的曠野?誰又能帶我們走出心靈的曠野?
曠野獨行客
聖經新約《使徒行傳》第8章提到,有一位行走在曠野中的埃塞俄比亞人。他在那個從耶路撒冷下迦薩的曠野裏,正感覺前路的迷茫、心靈的饑渴,有諸多的思索。
就在這些糾結中,上帝親自借著一位基督徒,向他講解基督耶穌的救恩,闡明福音。於是,他如夢初醒,欣然領受所聽見的福音,歸信了基督,從此“歡歡喜喜”地走前麵的道路。不但個人的出路找到了,而且還藉著福音,給他的同胞和民族,甚至整個非洲帶來了極大的祝福。
這段聖經所描述的,其實也是你我許多人共同的人生經曆。就是如何能真正地走出人生的曠野,走出心靈的曠野。我們的人生與這位埃塞俄比亞人何等相似,可見,他有相當廣泛的代表性。無論我們擁有多少物質財富和權力,我們還是行走在“曠野”裏麵。
聖經特別說,從耶路撒冷下迦薩的路,那路是曠野(參《使徒行傳》8:26)。當然,曠野不但是地理上的一個事實,我相信,那個埃塞俄比亞人,他的內心此時也如同“曠野”一樣——試圖明白真理而不得其門而入。這個人不但位高權重,事實上,他也非常渴慕真理,盼望真正獲得人生的真道,而走出心靈的曠野。
今天,多少人也行走在心靈的曠野中。那裏遍地荊棘,他們不堪重負,雖終日辛勞忙碌,卻不知人生意義為何、人生路在何方!也常覺得心靈裏麵的寂寞和孤單。所以,在這個埃塞俄比亞人身上,好像看見今天我們許多人的心靈縮影。
生命本有缺陷
透過聖經的描述來看,這個埃塞俄比亞人的人生似乎相當成功:
第一,他是個有大權的太監:一人之下,萬人之上,上麵就是那個幹大基女王,顯然他位高權重;第二,他不單有權,而且有錢。因為他統管整個國家的銀庫。這兩樣,不正是今天人們判斷一個人成功與否最重要的指標嗎?
但問題來了,如果權與錢真能使人快樂幸福,那個埃塞俄比亞人為什麽還要千裏迢迢去耶路撒冷“尋道”呢?因此,不難得出一個結論:他感覺心靈空虛,心裏沒有滿足感。顯然,他發現,心靈裏麵的問題,不是錢跟權能解決的,所以,他才會費盡辛苦,從埃塞俄比亞趕往耶路撒冷。
此外,聖經還意味深長地提到了第三點:這人是一個“太監”,一個身體上有缺陷的人。其實,看看我們自己,會發現,我們的人生(身體和生命)有一種缺陷,好像與生俱來,揮之不去——所謂“生、老、病、死”。我們無論是誰,總脫離不了這種缺陷,都走在這條路上。我們的心靈也是如此,我們曾經追求做一個“高尚的人、純粹的人、一個脫離了低級趣味的人”,但是真能做到嗎?
我們曾經追求崇高,但為什麽眨眼間,麵對錢、權,我們還是會身不由己,為五鬥米折腰?會失去人生的理想?失去知識分子應該有的那一點點清高?當我們真的麵對誘惑、麵對情欲的時候,忽然間會發現,其實我們的人性多麽軟弱和充滿缺陷。當然,我們生命最大的缺陷就是死亡。
這可以說是人生最深的悲哀:被死亡的陰影籠罩著整個人生。這真的很滑稽:我們似乎無法停止追求,想要擁有一切,但到頭來卻什麽都沒抓住,竟然一無所有!死亡最後吞滅的,不僅是我們的身體,也包括我們一切的心靈的追求:理想、目標、情操、意義,這是多麽荒唐又滑稽的人生!
外求本是徒然
我們不甘心束手待斃,就在各種宗教哲學中去尋找出路,好像那位埃塞俄比亞人一樣。他千裏迢迢去往耶路撒冷,因為那裏有當時最大的聖殿,是遠近馳名的猶太教聖地,也有千年的宗教典籍舊約聖經。他當然聽說了這些,所以哪怕路途遙遠,且要經過曠野,也沒關係,他覺得自己反正有錢、有時間、夠虔誠,不管多遠,去尋找就是了。
今天,不也有許多人如此尋道嗎?他們熱衷於用自己的辦法去找各種宗教,在求神拜佛、遊曆廟宇、找大師開悟當中尋找人生的意義和出路。但事實是,他們的人生仍然充滿歎息,好像還在“曠野”中打轉。
曠野裏麵最大的問題是什麽?沒有水、沒有糧!我們心靈的曠野,也是一樣。多少人感覺到莫名的幹渴和饑餓,卻像那位太監一樣,發出疑問:這位救主到底是誰?(參《使徒行傳》8:34)可見,我們真正的問題,是用人的辦法去到處尋覓“救世主”,去尋找人生的出路。但是,若不接受來自天外的啟示,我們又豈能找到呢?這就好像我們試圖要抓著自己的頭發,把自己從地上拔起來一樣,根本是徒勞無功!
謙卑就能蒙福
對此,上帝完全知道。主的使者對腓利說“你去,到曠野去!”(參《使徒行傳》8:26)原來,有一位在乎我們的上帝,他知道我們內心最深的需要,知道我們內心的憂傷、無奈與沉重。
造我們生命的那一位,他在乎我們,他知道,隻要我們謙卑下來,就能夠看見那位奇妙的救主。那位埃塞俄比亞人的謙卑成了他蒙福的起點。當腓利跟他講道的時候,他沒有拒人千裏之外,反而邀請腓利上車同坐,並且留意傾聽腓利向他的講解。
在人類的曆史裏麵,上帝借著他所寫下來的話提醒我們未來要發生的事情。在舊約時代,最大的預言就是彌賽亞,即上帝所派來的拯救者。那位埃塞俄比亞人所念的,正是舊約中預言彌賽亞最詳細的那卷書——《以賽亞書》。
當這個太監願意留心傾聽,他就明白了,耶穌實在就是上帝所差來的彌賽亞,他心靈的眼睛一旦打開,就不難發現,人類的曆史正照著上帝所啟示和預言的在進行:那位彌賽亞——拿撒勒人耶穌,完全照著上帝的旨意,剛剛在十字架上完成了救贖大工!當聖靈在他心裏做工時,他立刻就接受了主,並願意藉著洗禮,將這樣的認信公開地見證出來。
於是,一顆流浪的心,在那一刻找到了真正的歸宿。那種信主後真實的平安,和由此所帶來的喜悅,聖經在這裏用“就歡歡喜喜地走路”(參《使徒行傳》8:39)將之描述出來。
兩種人生寫照
“看哪,這裏有水,我受洗有什麽妨礙呢?”(參《使徒行傳》8:36)當一個人願意憑著信心走這條信仰之路時,會發現,你不再是孤獨一人在行走,而是有聖靈內住在心中,有以馬內利的上帝與你同行。所以,這個埃塞俄比亞人,從水裏上來後,會感覺有種喜樂是無以倫比的,他自然就“歡歡喜喜”地繼續前行。
由此,我想到聖經中一個與此對比強烈的故事:一個少年人,既當官,又是個大財主,好像也很虔誠,他跑到耶穌跟前說:“夫子呀,我怎麽能得永生?”耶穌告訴他要得永生,先要去變賣一切,然後來跟從自己,那就是永生。結果,他一聽,就“憂憂愁愁”地走了(參《馬可福音》10:17-22)。
多麽可惜啊!“永生”明明就在他眼前——跟從那位有永恒生命的主耶穌,他卻輕易地放棄了,與之失之交臂!那位少年人不隻是當時“憂憂愁愁”地走了,他之後的人生路,想必也隻有“憂憂愁愁”地在人生的曠野中打轉,直到走進生命的盡頭。
這兩幅圖畫,不正是我們人生的兩種寫照嗎?我們前麵的路到底要怎樣走呢?是繼續行走在心靈的曠野中,還是打開心靈的耳朵,聆聽上帝借著他的聖言所傳達的福音?我們要為自己仔細思想,怎麽能活出一個不再“失聯”的生命。身體的死亡並不可怕,真正可怕的是心靈的死亡,真正的“失聯”是人無法找到生命的源頭所在。
但願當我們凝視蔚藍天空的時候,我們能深知基督的救贖和他的大愛永不會失落;當我們俯視浩瀚大海的時候,能夠確信來自於日光之上的永恒盼望,它永不會沉沒!
編注:本文乃沈蓓根據作者講道錄音聽打,再經編輯及作者刪改而成。
作者來自上海現居美國,現為“播種者國際協會”中國事工部負責人。
http://ocfuyin.org/63-2-32-124-22-18-21-24-21-20-20-22-22-22-4-29-12
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